Customer Reviews

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives

5 star:		(29)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I'm 17 years old and found this book in my parents' bedroom last night. My parents are out of town, so I propped myself up with a pillow and began reading it on their bed.

By the time I finished it was four-thirty in the morning, and I wasn't tired. What a book! I'm still a teenager, one who doesn't date, do drugs, have sex, drink, watch porno, etc, and even though this book was intended for men, adult men who have grown up and entered the working force and the world of realtionships and sex, I found it deeply insightful and clear. Dr. Laura lays morality on the table in an effective and entertaining way, and it makes sense, which is the problem with most messages coming from either side, the right or the left. She explains the workings of the male, and female minds and how they are different, and how they are the same, as well as the monumental difference between being male and being a man. She talks about self control and how having it can not only bring you respect, it can bring you true, healthy relationships, and she defines how to be an equal partner in marriage, a real equal partner, not the liberal feminist definition of equal partnership.

Five stars, an excellent book for the moral minded, and for the not so moral minded, who want to know what morals are.

I only heard her show once, and was not impressed at all. But this book is quite excellent if you are trying to sort out your life, or what you may be going through or did go through. While I didn't find all the chapters worth reading, the ones I did like were very insightful, essentially doing mini case studies on what has happened with her callers, by relating their stories.

The first chapter, Stupid Chivalry, explores how guys who are "too nice" to women may be denying their real needs and therefore not being real. This backfires for the "nice" guy, but results in a dupe being available to be used by a woman who wants things done for her. Women want men who are real as mates. The chapter also explores guyus being nice because they may feel that their hand is so weak, that they welcome someone who has a lot of troubles so that they won't have to worry about being abandoned. They will feel needed. But unlikely is the case that they will be wanted for more than solving problems of the troubled woman.

The 6th chapter, Stupid Matrimony, explores idiotic motivations for getting married. "She's cute!" is one of them. With so many marriages ending in divorce, it is obvious that people do not always have the resources to think through what is drawing them towards marriage in a practical way. This book is an excellent eye-opener. Just because someone is wonderful to have fun with does not mean that you can overlook their flaws and get away with it. The message of this book, through the histories of her listeners is you will not get away with it. Having someone you can rely on and work with is very important. And making excuses for a woman's current behavior, if it isn't good for a relationship, won't make that behavior go away in the future.

In short, those two chapters were so good in helping me analyze my life that I picked up a copy of the book for a friend who has done some of the stupid things. This book is about seeing stupid things we can do as stupid, rather than just feeling our way through and thinking things will magically work out, and that we will be appreciate, or that the woman will behave better.

If you are trying to sort things out in you life, relative to women, this book should help you see a lot more clearly. And I say that having read many books on related areas.

Good luck.

As a person who is in a relationship but constantly feeling attracted to other girls, the chapter on 'Stupid Sex' was right on point.

The author identifies the struggle we face to balance biological urges with moral constraints. Her emphasis on doing what is 'right' and to base your behaviour on principles, struck a chord with me.

A lot of people may struggle to take this book seriously given it's straightforward, 'chatty' style, but I found the advice very helpful.

Brought up in a strong Christian tradition, I felt obligated and eager to give whenever asked and pretty much offered myself as a sacrifice for whomever came along...espcecially the Damsel in Distress. Such attitudes brought me to a place of usefulness in my career (physician) but also exposed me to the "Stupid Chivalry" trap. I lost a few fortunes and much sleep before I finally got slammed hard enough to be a little more careful with offering myself and the fruits of my labor. This book helped me see when I was about to make a useful sacrifice and when I was about to waste time or money (Stupid Chivalry) that might be better directed toward another person (How to know when I'm playing the Knight and when I'm playing the Fool).

Would I have listened had this book been required memorization material at the age of 14? I don't know. But, all three of my sons will be required to practically recite chapter 1 to me before they leave home for college.

The rest of the book speaks practical self defense for the moral minded; but chapter 1 seems to be the most useful.

Also, read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover if you have trouble doing too much for the wrong people at great cost to yourself and to those who really need you most.

--Charles Runels, MD
Author of "Anytime...for as Long as You Want: Strength, Genius, Libido, & Erection by Integrative Sex Transmutation (A 15-Day Course for Men to Improve Life and Sex)"

I bought this book a few years ago, and found myself returning to read it (particular the section on damsels in distress) when I found myself sucked into an awful relationship. This book and that section helped to crystalize in my mind what was actually going on with my relationship and to learn from other men's experiences in dealing with deceitful damsels in distress that refuse to grow up. Although, my breakup was bitter (I had to get a restraining order against the woman), I find it a small price to pay now. If I had married her as we had discussed then I definitely would have lost a lot of my assets in a inevitable divorce since she brought virtually nothing to the table. I know myself better and recognize the stupid mistakes I made early on. As a result, I am in a better position to find the right person for me to marry. I recommend this book to any man who is dating someone they are seriously considering marrying. It will open your eyes to important things you may have overlooked early in your courtship.

Dr Laura would get 10 thumbs up for this one, if I only had 10 to give. Men, I encourage you to read it, examine your own life, and look for ways to improve it. Dr Laura's advice is centered on old fashioned values which too many people in modern society have thrown away. Was I guilty of anything in this book? You bet I am, and I wish I had read it 20 years ago. Women -- not all of this advice is strictly for man bashing, some of it could apply to you too!

Many of the 10 things didn't apply to me personally, but that wasn't a surprise. However, one of the ten was right on the money & explained why I have made such bad choices in the past w/ choosing a woman. Now that I'm aware of my tendency, it helps me to be more selective & to not fall into the same trap.

I am a 62 year old man. Had I this book starting out, I would not have messed up my life. As I read, and look through the book, I am encouraged to know that I am not alone in the world in stupidity. There is hope for me, yet. I look forward to reading the rest of the book and growing and wisdom and hopefully in a relationship with a woman.

Are you ready to finally put down your childish, male ways? Want to grow up and learn what real responsibility is all about? Then this is the book for you. I really enjoyed reading this book. I learned that to be a man means more than drinking beer, going to the bars with "the guys" or sitting in front of the tv watching sports all day. Being a man is about taking responsibility for your life, and making the most of yourself and your relationships with others. Dr. Laura has great advice on relationships; with friends, family and those special ones in our lives. Do yourself a favor and read this book and when you're done, pass it along to your girlfriend, sister, mother... even they can gain great insight from this book. And guys, when you're done, move on to "ten stupid things women do..." I just started reading it and it's great so far. Like reading the thoughts of women.

I am a woman, and I found this book to be so helpful in understanding why my man does what he does. Dr. Laura talks about how society has devalued the importance of a mans place in the family, and her words give courage to men to stand up for what is truly right, not just "the guys" mentality of what is right. She shows how societies values ultimately lead to emptiness inside, and how your true self worth is allowed to shine thru by doing the right things. She shows the bigger picture, that we sometimes can't see when so involved in relationship issues. A must read...I don't see how anyone could not benefit from reading this book.