Customer Reviews

Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids: Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

Great book; it get's you thinking. My kids arre almost out of the nest and they are all I could ask for. Yes, I worked. But not until they were in school, almost always part time and I did not use 'working' as an excuse to not volunteer at school, sports, and generally be in my kids lives. The point is really about your priorities. Do you instinctively put your kids needs first? It's been interesting to see how things have worked out with families in our area. We have a large group of kids who have been together since kindergarten; now they are seniors. You can instantly tell which parents were connected, involved and had their priorities straight. Not all of them stayed home the whole time.
On and off I used to listen to Dr. Laura, frequently agreeing, but many times not. What I love is that she has an unpopular point of view and she's not going to let social, financial, or industry pressure dilute her message. Yes, she's frequently abrasive; so were many people who have made an impact in the course of events in this world. If you are a parent with young children READ THE BOOK at least it will give you important ideas to agree or disagree with.

I would like to state that I do not agree with all Dr. Schlessinger has to say. BUT on this issue I do agree that too many parents these days place convienence and material wealth over the welfare of children. She does not condem those parents that must work literally to put food on the table, or a roof over a family's heads. Rather, it is a condemnation of personal greed, an attack on the ever increasing need to "keep up with the Joneses." I have been on both sides of the issue as a mother of two. If you are not able to put a career on hold, to not drive the newest car or plan a budget so tight it nearly strangles you - then you will find this book EXTREMELY uncomfortable/annoying/offensive/disturbing - pick your adjective. Personally I am not condeming families where both parents choose to work and use daycare/nannies, etc. I only ask that they truly consider their choices regarding their children, and this book can really help raise the issues parents need to consider. Read it with a grain of salt and an open mind. Believe me, I CAN'T WAIT till my youngest is off to school so I can go back to work during the day!!!

A WONDERFUL book that should be required reading for EVERY woman
before even getting pregnant. And share it with your husband! This
book gives real life problems and practical, common sense solutions
that actually work, as well as how to help combat the mainstream
attitude that children are here for us and for our 'fulfillment' and
pleasure. Parenting is a full time job. Not just a hobby to do in your
free time. This book will be hated by those who are selfish and don't
want to have to take responsibility and sacrifice for the child they
chose to bring into this world.
It's sad that we now need a book to tell us to do what both humans &
animals have been doing naturally for thousands of years, but people
have rejected in recent decades. The facts and the results prove true,
and they're worded straight to the point without a lot of fluff and
filler. I liked the original title better, but my guess is the words
were too big for some peo!ple. I got this one in hardback as soon as
it came out and it's the parenting book I value the most.

Dr. L. is straight forward and to the point which I appreciate. I only wish I would have read this book when I was 20 before an abortion, before living unmarried with a man I only used to take care of me, before dropping out of college. I live every day with guilt from the lifestyle my parents taught me and never talked about with me. I am finally my kid's Mom and a good one after reading and listening to Dr. Laura whom I detested for a long time because she was talking to and about people just like me. Thanks Dr. Laura for making me a better person, Mom and loving female. I will teach my child morality, abstinence, about STD's, self control, self respect and that once you have children they are what is most important until they leave your home with the education to give them the most out of life which they ultimately should receive from their parents. It is my job to raise my children not the schools or daycares. Dr. Laura did work when she had her young son and she also made mistakes but her book is about doing what is right so if that is what you want to do then read this book. Dr. Laura worked around her son so she could be home with him which is exactly what she preaches for all parents to do. It really is black and white and comes down to the choices we all make.

Ok. Let's really get a few things straight for those of you who have read some of the 1-2 star rating reviews and feel discouraged about redaing this book. For one thing, yes Dr. Laura does use the straight-in-your face, to the point kind of language in this book. But, I would never go as far to say that she is "insulting" because I accept that there are different types of personalities in this world and she has made it quite clear, if you have ever listened to her radio program, that that is just her personality and the way she is. Secondly, she has stated time and time again that she is not AGAINST the female race and working parents, she is simply SO passionate about the raising of children and making sure that parents place their children as a priority ABOVE their careers, that she comes off sounding as though she's insulting people when she really is not. Also, I have heard so many callers that FINALLY "get it" and change their lives for the better after Dr laura's to the point, in your face advice is given. For so many it is like cold water being splashed in their face, to wake them up and make them realize the mistakes they are making that are hurting their children. Thanks to her, so many families have changed around their whole life styles in order to allow the mother to stay home with their children. And there are actually people that believe that daycare is BETTER than having a real parent around? Are you kidding yourselves? Would that be the choice YOU would have made as a child? "Day care, nanny, or your mommy--what's it gonna be kid?"
"Oh Day care please!!! I get so much socialization!" Give me a break! Tell the kids that are exhausted and worn out from 9-10 hour days in day care, that it's actually better for them than their own parents. Just look at the Research---"Day Care Deception" is an excellent book which sites TONS of research on the matter and see for yourselves. In my opinion this book is great because some parents, not all, really do need a wake up call. And, by the way, with the computer boom, yes there are LOTS of at-home type of work that you CAN do to be home with your child. This is what I did and--where there's a will, MOST OF THE TIME, There IS a way. Those of you who honestly can't put food on the table or a roof over your heads without two incomes--I am not refering to you. But, I do wish you all the best. Lastly, I find it so sad that so many people judge DR Laura by rummers that they have heard about her past. Even if these rummers were true--SO WHAT? Is she leading the same life NOW? No. And yet so many people dig up her past. Haven't you EVER done anything you regreted and later learned from? She has openly stated in her radio program that she has had different beliefs many years ago and how she changed and became the person she is today. I can understand feeling uncertainty towards her if she is doing things NOW contrary to what she states, but her past is her past (even though I don't know or bother to listen to a whole heck of a lot of the gossip around). Anyways, I've said my peace. And I DO recommend this book. Toss any harsh tones in this book aside and instead really ABSORB the POINT of this book--to better the lives of our children. TAKE WHAT YOU CAN LEARN. Good luck, and ALL THE BEST!

Excellent eye-opener for parents caught up in their own world of work, possessions and the need for status. I wish this was required reading for every person that has children--really I wish every person read it BEFORE they have children so they can understand that children's well-being comes before their own and will require great sacrifices and demands on "me" time. Many people seem to want to be parents on "their" time rather than thinking about the needs of children. Too many children are institutionalized in daycare simply because parents don't want to give up their big houses, expensive clothes and new SUV's. We drive used cars and buy second-hand clothes and toys so our kids can have a stay-at-home parent at all times. IT CAN BE DONE!

This fast moving and informative book is full of high impact facts and examples which clarify what part fathers and mothers actually NEED to play in the raising of psychologically healthy children. It provides clarity and instruction for the well-meaning but misguided parent, as well as inspiration and encouragement for the intrepid minority who are braving abuse directed toward parents who are making sacrifices to "do the right thing" in raising their own children in today's anti-parent culture. WARNING: adults who prefer not to know facts that will interfere with their personal gratification may be enraged by the well-based information presented here.

If you are a mom that works outside the home, you probably won't like this book. Dr. Laura just tells it like it is and I'm sure alot of people find it offensive. I think it is refreshing to hear someone who sticks up for our children (it should be us-their parents.) As a physician, I see too many people who put there own selfish needs ahead of their kids. If you don't want to raise them, don't have them. Good advice.

Because of finances, I had been second guessing my choice to stay at home with my two children since the beginning of the year. After reading this book it made me feel like my job as a mother is the most important job there is and will ever be! It has boosted my confidence and self esteem and made me a better mother to my children. Thank you Dr. Laura! I wish there were more people like you out there - supporting the significance of motherhood in a society concerned with material things. No, we don't have cable, and none of us can buy new clothes (we shop consignment or clearance racks), but it doesn't bother me anymore. For right now, while they are small, I feel like this is the best decision I could have made.

While I have not entirely agreed with all the information Dr. Laura has given in one of two of her previous books, I do believe that this is one or her better books. She has a strong handle on the stamina, commitment and time it takes to raise children to productive, happy and well-adjusted adults. Children need discipline and while I have been one of those parents who raised children and did, indeed, "spare the rod" as Laura puts it, that does not say my children were not disciplined - on the contrary.

As a counsellor who has studied behavioural psychology, my philosophy was to sit down with my children and have a heart-to-heart talk when it was called upon. As one of my daughters said to me at a very young age, "Why do you have to be that psycho-thing (psychologist)? Couldn't you just hit us like that lady in the supermarket hit her kids and get it over with?" So much for the philosophical approach! Punishment was not merely doled out to my children; they were asked to participate in choosing their own form of punishment for ill-fated deeds committed, particularly with my youngest daughter who was by far the most independent, and amazingly, her "punishment for the crime" was far more severe than I would have chosen. Today, all three are happy, well-adjusted adults leading productive lives, and I thank my lucky stars for that.

Dr. Laura speaks out (and we all know she certainly says what is on her mind)on issues far beyond discipline. She covers sensitive issues such as abortion, and offers advice on drugs, violence and our children's rights to privacy. Again, one may not agree with absolutely everything Dr. Laura has to say, but she does make some very valid points to consider.