Customer Reviews

Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives

5 star:		(55)
4 star:		(17)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

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Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives is a summary of
self-defeating behaviors women use to hide their lack of self-esteem
and fear of following their dreams. By using real-life examples from
her professional practice and her nartionally syndicated radio show,
Dr. Laura explains the thinking (or lack of thought) behind poor
decisions that have a harmful impact on women, their families, and
their friends. These poor decisions are usually the easy out, and
often compromise a person's integrity or plans for the
future. Dr. Laura effectively demonstrates how withstanding momentary
discomforts lead to a positive self-image and utlimately fulfilling
life.

I read this book about a year ago (not voluntarily at first,
my parents made me) and I am glad I did. Learning from the mistakes of
others is always better than repeating them yourself. I don't give a
whit what mistakes Dr. Laura has made, because it's irrelevant to the
merit of her message. Everything she says in her book is true; I have
personally witnessed many relationships gone awry due to the behaviors
Dr. Laura lists in her book. So if you want to be a happier, stronger
person, this book can point you in the right direction. But only if
you are willing to *honestly* reassess your own thoughts and actions
without being a spineless jellyfish.

I don't think this book deserves the low marks it's recieved here. Laura Schlesinger, for all her faults, is a perceptive woman, refreshing contrarian and-at her best moments-one tough, opinionated broad. Before she veered to the religious right around 1995, she wrote this book which is quite good and, contrary to what many might think, feminist. It's a good book to read or give to a young woman as Schlesinger takes a ferocious and unsentimental stand on the value of independence, risk-taking, hard work, courage and accountability. She's very hard on women who choose to see themselves as the victim in their life and relationships-one of the reasons she's so rabidly disliked by those who find not only succor-but their complete identity-in female victimhood. Schlesinger's L.A. talk show in the early nineties was riveting stuff as she took on just about every cliched, whiny cop-out that came her way. She always had the guts to say what a lot of people think, but don't have the guts to express-and I think she truly helped many of her callers see the light. The unfortunate thing about her more recent moral ranting is that it takes away from some of the excellent insights she's capable of. If you're looking for a self help book that will do more than tell you what you want to hear and repeat the same old cliches about how you are being vicitmized in your life by loser boyfriends, ex-husbands, "loving too much", "society", whatever, I recommend this.

You have to ask yourself one question. Why do authors who are divorced write all the marriage and self-help books? Well in five words: "They learned from the experience."

If you want advice from a woman who has "been there/done that" then Dr. Laura is a good source of wisdom. She has fallen, picked herself up and moved on. Girlfriend, this is one woman who isn't going to take it anymore. She looks at the facts, pushes aside the romantic ideals and makes you face the reality of your situation. Personally, I kinda like her "in your face truth attitude." It is refreshing to finally hear what no one else will tell you. Dr. Laura's hope is that people will learn to live more balanced lives.

She takes a look at our unrealistic drives and primal needs. She says the "ultimate stupidity" is withholding from yourself the respect you deserve. She shows how women often tolerate obnoxious male behaviors in order to avoid loneliness, self-assertiveness, and self-sufficiency.

The lovely contents include chapters on Attachment, Courtship, Devotion, Passion, Cohabitation, Expectations, Conception, Subjugation, Helplessness and Forgiving. While most of this book seems to be for women who are dating, every woman should read this book.

"It is your job as a woman, as a person, to become as fully realized as you can by having dreams, forging a purpose, building an identity, having courage, and making commitments to things outside of yourself. In so doing, you take a more active role in the quality of your own life so that other people-friends, spouses, children-share in your growth rather than become responsible for it. You'll feel super. And you'll feel really womanly-as opposed to babyish or girlish-perhaps for the first time." ~Dr. Laura

She answers the following questions:

Why hasn't he called? (Short Answer: Are you sure you want him to?)
Do you really want to be with someone who is not giving you back what you're giving?
Are you a volunteer hostage?
How do I teach a man to respect me?
What is true Intimacy?
What is sexual addiction?
Should you hang in there or leave?
What is the difference between Sexual Passion and Mature Love?
Who is really responsible for birth control?

Even Dr. Laura is willing to admit there is no life without pain. "The experience and the survival of pain are often the price of growth."

What if you can bypass some of this pain?
Would that be worth the price of this book?

YES!

Ok, I admit, I borrowed this from my mother. ;) Now she will
have to read the highlighted version.

~The Rebecca Review

If you don't like to look at yourself honestly in the mirror, you won't like this book! Dr. Laura's book is a must read for women young, mature, single or married! It provides guidance on how to: 1) choose a partner wisely, 2) walk away from dead-end relationships and 3) build a happier life with yourself and a deserving partner. It is unfortunate that many women believe that having a man, any kind of man, at any cost, is life's ultimate prize! Today, far too many women give away their power to men and settle for fantasy, disrespect and helplessness. I, too, have chosen unwisely and spent portions of my precious life with men who didn't deserve me. After reading this book, I can now put an end to my vicious cycle. The message was powerful. However, the writing, at times, was challenging to read. I am glad I stuck with it! The value of the message far outweighs the challenge. A key message that still ripples in my mind is that enhanced self-esteem is earned through courage, risk taking and overcoming challenges. Thank you Dr. Laura!

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People who dislike this book because of Dr. Schlessinger's style need to put aside their reservations and focus on the truth of this book's content. She goes behind the gloss and tells straight out what makes women "martyr themselves on the altar of marriage". I am 17 years old. This is around the age, (younger actually), that many girls start putting complete and total emphasis on finding a man and getting married. I know many of these girls. They have no ambitions for themselves. They are afraid of the future and instead of confronting their fears they hide behind a man. It's not fair to the man and it's not fair to them. I am purchasing several of these books for the people I know who are a mirror reflection of the examples in this book. If you are not one of the people who does these particular stupid things, then more power to you. I still reccommend you read it because I'm sure you know someone who does.

Dr. Laura gives it to you straight in this no nonsense book. While most people wouldn't have the guts to be this brutally honest and constructively critical, Dr. Laura goes where no one else dares to go. So many other self help books are too concerned about being politically correct and candy coating topics, that in the end you feel like you don't gain anything. But whether you like her or not, everything she says is actually true. This book will remind you of times in your life (and it's happened to all of us) when a family member or friend tells us something we don't want to hear but deep down inside we actually know is true. Dr. Laura is also a very logical person, so much of her opinions and advice is not hard to follow. I recommend this book to anybody in search of learning more about themselves and how they can improve themselves.

I really enjoyed reading this book after a recommendation on a messageboard after sharing my experience. I didn't know what I was feeling and experiencing till I read this book. It was like it was writing about my life! Well, suffice to say, it helped me to open my eyes. I heard about the controversy surrounding this author and I understand why. She is being very realistic and sensible about realities of life. Most of the things in the book I have an agreement about, while some others it didn't really elaborate much. It depends where you are at this point in your life. But do read it if you're at crossroads (like I). But if you're totally happy with your relationship, then maybe it's not for you.

Dr. Laura is great, fantastic and well.... fantastic. I listen to her radio show as often as possible, but when I get to read one of her books, it is shear pleasure. This is the first of her "Ten Stupid Things..." books and I really enjoyed it, although not as much as "Ten Stupid Things Men Do..." Maybe it's because I'm a guy, and couldn't stop saying "wow, how true!" every five seconds.

When I bought the book, my intention was to try and get some insight into how women think and where they are coming from. But I left the book gaining something better than insight into the mind of a woman. I gained the understanding that women, just like us men, have messed up, have hang-ups, and have insecurities. And we as men have to do our best to help support and empower the women in our lives to rise above (overcome) their pasts so that they can fulfill the destiny God has for them. As long as we drag our feet in the past, we can never run towards our future, and we can't continue to hang failures over our wive's/mother's/sister's/daugther's heads. Knowledge isn't worth anything until it becomes understanding... until it has substance in your life. Buy both books and do yourself a favor.

Here are the first three of the ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives, according to Dr. Laura: 1) they seek their identity in stupid attachments, 2) are panicky to pour themselves into courtship with a lunkhead who will accept them, and 3) suffer stupid devotion for the sake of a wretch.
I've been in the "people business" for 20 years, and I'm convinced that Dr. Laura's right. I used to wince at her brutal approach to truth, but no more; she's not just talking to ONE person on the other end of the line. Dr. Laura is skilled at discerning the exact bad decisions that have lead to a particular problem, then using that example to warn another half-million listeners to avoid this same pitfall. That's what she does in this book. She catalogues 10 of most the dangerous - and stupid - decisions women make and explains how to avoid these. Any 10-year-old girl can understand these principles, but these things need to be said aloud. It's not a new book, but it's timeless truth.

A lot of the mistakes listed in the book are dead on. For women who continue to make the same damaging choices into adulthood, this book could serve as a good wake up call. I do think the "pull yourself up by your own boot-straps" kind of advice falls short . And her own life examples of "look at me, I just willed myself to be strong" aren't exactly edifying. Someone who needs this advice the most might be turned off by her initial unsympathetic style and then not take in the good nuggets. In other cases, it could be the exact style and message someone needs.