Customer Reviews

Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

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It's right on target. I've seen all of the signs of spiritual abuse in several churches I've attended, and I'm in a church now where the signs do not exist among the leadership (and it's easy to dodge the self-righteous members who do practice any of the bad signs... no church is perfect). The difference between churches that use manipulation and those that practice grace is like night and day.

The key to preventing spiritual abuse is balance. God has placed boundaries around ministers and laypeople alike which should not be crossed. When the "leaders" run roughshod over the church members' boundaries while misusing Scripture to protect themselves from legitimate criticism, something is wrong. Pastors cannot claim authority reserved solely for God or expect to control people in ways that only the Holy Spirit can do. God has rules for leaders to obey, and ways for laymen to confront leaders about sin.

I have to disagree very strongly with those who say that this book is anti-leadership or that this book causes problems in churches.

One of the examples used in the book is about a pastor whose congregation expected too much of him. Yes, some churches do place burdens on pastors that are too hard to bear; so this book is for wounded ministers as much as for wounded laypeople. Yes, we're guilty of expecting our pastors do do everything when God really gives ministries to every believer.

Van Vonderen and Johnson warn people who read the book not to use what they have learned as a weapon, but to take action only in the proper spirit. Of course, any time someone takes action in a church, real problems will become visible. My question in every case is: are those problems caused by those speaking out, or have they been there all along and are only now being exposed? People just causing trouble need correction or should be encouraged to move on. People exposing existing problems should be heard out, and solutions to benefit the entire church must be sought. Sweeping exposed problems under the rug is not an option.

This book isn't written for rabble-rousers or disgruntled church members or anyone else of that sort. It is for Christians who have been wounded by the church and who need God's healing. It is fair, it is doctrinally solid, and it gives effective counsel. There is something beneficial for everyone... leader, wounded Christian, or loved ones of people in either group.

This book was the best book I've read on spiritual abuse issues. It covers all areas: from being spiritually abused, why things go wrong in the churches today, how to recognize an abusive system, to recovering and returning to a right relationship with God, one of faith, hope, love, and grace. These are the things that build a relationship, and create change in our lives. It's not about rules, regulations, being obedient to leaders, and having people tell you their perception and belief of God's will for your life. That's why God gave us His Word, and we are to grow in a relationship with Him. He will do the work in us , we could not do ourselves. This book was the key to helping our family get our lives back together after having experienced abuse in a church. It not only validated us, but it is packed full of scriptures to search the truth out for yourself, to really look at what the Bible is saying, to whom, why, and to see Jesus's true character, and heart of God's Word. What a blessing! I noticed a person was sort of negative in their response to this book, and spoke of how we are to submit to leaders, etc. The Bible tells us to submit to leaders who speak the truth, who operate in the "fruits of the spirit," and who love (both saints and sinners alike). How can we get to the lost, and get them saved if we are to self-righteous to reach out to them, and love them enough to meet them where they are. Self-righteousness sends people away from God, not toward him. Legalism is based on getting right with God, not how to have a relationship with Him. Even though we were spiritually abused, I don't like to hear messages that "tickle my ears" either, but the deliverance of the message, and the heart of the person sending the message must line up with God's Word, and have a character as Jesus did. God gave us feelings and emotions too, it's not always our sinful flesh. We need God to help us discern between the two. I thank God for this book, pray that God will continue to bless their work because a lot of people without resources like this may otherwise walk away from the Lord, after having experienced such a tramatic experience as spiritual abuse. The book is full of insight, not only of abuse issues, but what's gone wrong in churches today. The only thing that the church can really offer anyone that the world can't is "God's love and grace." As Christians, that's our responsibility! That's what will change people, the world, and cause us to love God and want to serve Him.

Full disclosure is probably necessary at this point: I not only attend the church where the author (David) preaches, I work for him, too. I can attest to his personal integrity and his commitment to proper, evangelical Biblical exegesis.

This book is one of the top two or three on the topic, and I highly recommend it to others. It's insightful, timely, and has plenty of examples to help "shine the light" on bad situations. I know it's effective, too: we receive hundreds of messages every year from those who have read the book and now feel liberated to love God again.

In no way does the book encourge parishoners to villify their pastors, or go looking for occasions to "feel abused." It does, however, help expose an all-too-frequent phenomena of pastors who, in the name of God, abuse their authority to achieve their own destructive desires.

God Bless!

"The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" confronts in an open and honest way--and deals with in a clear and straightforward way--issues that too many in the Christian community too often refuse to admit and face up to and deal with because these serious issues are not clean and pretty and tidy--they're dirty and messy and embarrassing; and it takes time and much effort to make healthy changes. It takes a lot of courage for anyone to admit to the truth (and uncover the truth) of what goes on "behind closed doors" in some churches (and families). Until these serious issues are first acknowledged, nothing ever changes or has the opportunity to make the necessary healthy changes. It takes integrity and courage and unconditional love to take a stand. David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen have written a tremendously courageous book. This book does not attack--it simply demonstrates the love and honor these men have for God and His principles and it demonstrates the courage these men have in standing up for those Biblical principles. This book, together with Mr. VanVonderen's other two books, "Tired of Trying to Measure Up" and "Families Where Grace Is In Place" are excellent resources for those who have been wounded by other Christians to receive hope and encouragement and the reassurance that not all Christians and not all churches are harmful--that emotional and spiritual healing can come about and the wounded can eventually be able to move on in life. We are encouraged to use wisdom and discernment and common sense. I recommend these books highly. Consider buying extra copies to give out to loved ones or friends who you know are hurting deeply because they've been wounded by the very people they trusted to love and care about them.

It has been my experience that many Christians who speak of God's grace and mercy in fact live grace-less lives and inflict their grace-lessness on others. The result can be hurting souls that writhe in human-induced torment only to hear that they are resisting the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Or, they walk away from God because they are unable to tolerate the pain caused by the legalistic demands of others. Or, they give up on reading the Bible because their God-given intellect can't reconcile with the narrow, rigid interpretations that are presented as the one and only truth by their spiritual authority figures. This book helped me find a way to feel whole and Christian. While reading of this book, I was often dumbstruck with the authors' ability to describe in accurate detail the source of many hurts, confusions, and fears. (I thought their comments about the children's chorus "Be Careful Little Eyes What You See" were right on target! That song always gave me the willies!) I read this book with a healthy dose of skepticism. I resisted and continue to resist the tendency of some people to define themselves as a "survivor" of this or that type of abuse. Abuse of any kind follows a continuum. My personal experience wasn't nearly as extreme as some of those related in this book. I did not end this book feeling more convinced that I was a victim than when I began. I simply understood the dynamics and subtleties of the abuse more clearly. I recommend this book highly. I don't know that folks who participate in inflicting spiritual pain on others will recognize their behavior in this book. So often, they have the best of intentions and sincerely believe that there way is the (only) right way. But I think folks on the receiving end of abuse will have many "aha!!" moments while reading. Shalom and God Bless!

Believe it or not, you're not going crazy. There are multitudes of "wolves in sheeps' clothing" abusing and controling earnest seekers of Truth in Christ's holy name.
THIS BOOK sheds light on a much overlooked issue.
A must read for fans of Frank Peretti, Ron M. Enroth, and C.S. Lewis.

The basic message of this book is simple but important: God does not weigh his children down with guilt, God does not work his children to death, God does not tell his children to submit to abusive family members. That's the dramatic stuff and this book is well worth reading if you need to hear this particular form of Good News.

The more subtle stuff involves mistaking the fruits of the Christian life for salvation. Another reader thought this was a simplistic feature of the book, but I think that (with the very best of intentions) many churches get conned by this subtle form of the anti-Gospel: if you don't go to all the church meetings, you're not a real Christian; if you don't work on all the committees, you're not a real Christian; if you don't speak in tongues, you're not a real Christian; etc., etc.

This book does not constitute a witch-hunt for "cults". The material is drawn from every-day situations, including the dramatic and almost incredible to the every-day sorts of situations we want to say "no" to and sometimes find difficult.

Only those who've endured spiritual abuse could fully understand and appreciate with clarity the message of this book.

For me, it is an anointed message and has helped to preserve my faith from being totally shipwrecked by the chaos endured under an authoritarian and abusive church leadership.

For those who think this has become the latest psychological 'fad' to follow, a scapegoat philosophy to buy out of obedience, you're wrong. The Church is in the middle of a spiritual warfare battle unseen down through the ages. We shouldn't be surprised as the Scriptures clearly reveal this will be so.

What better way for the enemy to destroy the witness of the saints than to do so from within, through abuse of leadership and authority.

This book nails difficult and controversial topics about the church and church leadership, with clarity, compassion and insight. As well, the author(s) warn over and over that the subject is not to be arbitrarily applied to every dissension and dissatisfaction of churchgoers. They are addressing an habitual and destructive style and outworking of those in leadership... those who don't build up the flock entrusted to them, but weaken them and tear down their faith and their ministries.

This is a clarion warning for the entire church. This book should be required reading in the seminaries where our future pastors are learning the ways of leadership.

I speak from experience - I survived an incredibly abusive and coersive fellowship. 90% of us have, over time, walked away from that fellowship which had been our spiritual 'home' for our entire lives. Many of those now have a faith that is in tatters. The walking wounded in the Body of Christ are myriad on the cusp of the Millennium, and this book gives partial explanation as to why.

To all church leaders and those in ministry at any level: get this book, read it soberly and carefully. You'll not be sorry you did.

This was the first book that was recommended to me after I came across all kinds of information on the internet about the Watchtower Society and was looking for answers. My husband and I both left the Jehovah's Witnesses after being deep in it for 10 years. The subtle power of spiritual abuse, indeed!!! We were completely blinded all those years. Not anymore. This is an excellent book to get started with. I thank God for it.

This book is a classic in the field of spiritual abuse. Anyone who has been abused in a church or religious setting should read this book. The authors go into the symptoms and causes of spiritual abuse. They also discuss how to heal from such experiences. If you have suffered from authoritarian abuse in a church or ministry, or if you are interested in learning about the subject, I highly recommend this book. Clergy and counselors would especially benefit from this book, as it would help them to identify this widespread problem, and to better assist those harmed by it.