Jack Canfield began as a passionate teacher dedicated to helping young people succeed by building self-esteem and confidence. Today, he is the cocreator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, developing forty New York Times bestsellers. He is America's leading expert in creating peak performances for entrepreneurs, corporate leaders, educators, and students. Canfield is a popular radio and television talk-show guest. He is
also a syndicated columnist through King Features and has a nationally syndicated radio show. Visit Jack Canfield at www.chickensoupforthesoul.com and www.jackcanfield.com.
Kent Healy started his first business at age fifteen and by seventeen began writing his first book, 'Cool Stuff' They Should Teach In School. The success of this book and speaking engagements has made Healy one of the most popular and sought-after young experts on the topic of success. At age twenty-two, he taught a course called The Science of Success at a local high school. He is a syndicated columnist and a highly regarded guest
on television and radio shows.
Today, at age twenty-three, Healy has become a spokesperson for today's young generation. Visit him at www.coolstuffmedia.com and www.kenthealy.com
CHP 01
TAKE 100%
RESPONSIBILTY
FOR YOUR
LIFE
You must take personal
responsibility. You cannot change the
circumstances, the seasons, or the
wind, but you can change yourself.
— Jim Rohn
Self-made millionaire, success coach, and philosopher
It's going around like a bad flu. It's infecting innocent people and restricting their potential. What is it? The shocking myth that we are simply entitled to a great life.
How could this happen? Well, many of us today believe that somehow, somewhere, someone (certainly not us) is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, entertainment, money, amazing friendships, and relationships because . . . well . . . we exist. Isn't that enough? We wish!
If you're reading this book, we're sure you are aware that the answer is 'no.' Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. There is one major defining factor that separates those who hope for a better life and those who have a better life. This determining factor is also the one lesson that this entire book is based on. Here it is:
The only person
responsible for the
quality of your life is …
YOU.
1.1 The Straight Facts
If you want to be successful, retire early, gain the respect of others, and just have more fun, then you need to take 100% responsibility for everything that you do and experience in life. This includes the level of your achievements, the quality of your relationships, your emotions, the results you produce in and out of school, and the state of your health—yes, everything!
But let's get one thing straight: This is not always easy.
In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside ourselves for the parts of our life that we don't like. We blame our parents, teachers, friends, MTV, the weather, or even the star-sign forecasts! It's crazy! Most of the time we don't even know we're doing it. The truth is, the real problems or challenges we face usually have little to do with our 'outside world.' We're often scared to look at the source of it all . . . ourselves.
Sure, we will all experience our own unique challenges that happen out of our control, but taking responsibility means that we don't dwell on the problem, ignore it, complain about it, or blame someone or something else for what we're experiencing. Instead, it means that we take control of our thoughts and our actions, and do whatever we can to improve the situation.
Sure, life's challenges come in all shapes and sizes, but there is always something that we can do differently to change what we are currently experiencing. And we must first believe this before we will find any new solutions.
Whether someone is super-successful or struggling to survive, the quality of their life depends on their thoughts, actions, and beliefs. Do you notice a trend here? These three things all have to do with the individual—not the teacher, the weather, or outside circumstances. The truth is, success starts with one person . . .
That person is you.
1. 2 When I First Met Jack
Nathan, 18 (Indianapolis, IN): I didn't meet Jack Canfield under the best circumstances, but looking back, I'm glad we crossed paths.
Jack was at my school working with a group of teachers when he heard me arguing with one of my teachers outside the staff room. He left his meeting, walked over to me, and asked me to explain the situation. I told him (in a loud voice) that I had just been suspended from the baseball team and that this wasn't fair. They couldn't do this to me. Not now!
'What's not fair? And why not now?' asked Jack.
I said, 'We're about to go to the state championships next week, and there will be all kinds of scouts for college teams there, and if they see me pitch, I can get a scholarship to college. I can't afford to go to college without a baseball scholarship. This is my only chance. It's not fair!'
I expected some sympathy, but instead, Jack said, 'Let me ask you a question.'
'Okay.'
'When did you first learn that school was not fair? Really . . . tell me the truth.'
'When I was in grade school,' I told him.
'Okay, so why are you standing there pretending to act like you don't know that school is not fair? Every teacher has a different set of rules. Some teachers enforce some rules and not others. Sometimes good kids get bad breaks, and kids who don't play by the rules get away with breaking them. Isn't that true?' asked Jack.
'Yes.'
'So it's not about whether school is fair or not. The real question is 'What did you do to get yourself suspended?' I doubt they just randomly picked your name out of a hat. So how did you create this situation—getting yourself suspended?'
'I was late to school.'
'Just once?'
'No, several times.'
'How many times?'
'I'm not sure. Maybe six or seven times.'
Jack then turned to my principal who was now watching our conversation and asked, 'What's the rule here? How many times do you have to be late without a legitimate reason before you get suspended from an athletic team?'
'Three times,' my principal said.
Jack turned back to me and asked, 'Were you aware of this rule?'
'Yes.'
'Then why did you break it so many times?'
'Well, after the third time nothing happened, so I didn't think they were serious.'
Jack turned back to the principal and said, 'So this is where the school participated in creating this situation. By not consistently enforcing the rules, you helped him believe there were no rules. This is why he claims it's unfair.'
Jack turned back to me and said, 'But that doesn't let you off the hook. You did know the rule, and you chose to ignore it. So, what did you make more important than playing baseball and getting a scholarship to college?'
I looked Jack straight in the eyes and said, 'Nothing's more important than playing baseball. It's the most important thing in my life.'
Jack responded by saying, 'Not true.'
As you can imagine, this made me angry. He continued, 'You made something else more important than getting to school on time so you could play baseball.
What was it?'
I could feel the pressure, and there was no way to back out. I thought about his question for a moment and then said, 'You mean sleeping in?'
'I don't know. You tell me,' Jack responded.
'I guess that would be it.'
'Is sleeping in really more important to you than playing baseball?'
'No. No way!'
'Then why didn't you get up?'
'Well, when the alarm goes off, I hit the snooze button—sometimes more than once—and then I end up being late.'
We talked for a little longer, and then Jack convinced my principal to give me one more shot now that I was more aware the situation and was accepting full responsibility. But, we all agreed, if I was late one more time, I would be suspended with no rights to complain or fight about it.
There was one last problem to solve. I needed a new strategy to make sure I would get up on time. Hitting the snooze couldn't be an option. We brainstormed and came up with several strategies. First, I had to put my clock on the other side of the room so I would have to get out of bed to turn it off. And, second, if I wasn't up by a certain time, I had to pay my mom a dollar to pour ice water on me. I knew my mom would be very happy to do that!
I was not late anymore. Jack helped me realize what it really meant to take 100% responsibility. The rest of my baseball season went well—even my coach commented on my change of attitude. Now, I'm attending college on a baseball scholarship. It's a good feeling to know that I was able to take control and make it happen.
1. 3 Inside Out
Night has fallen, and the city has become dark. A man is on his hands and knees searching for something under a streetlamp when a young woman passing by asks the man what he is doing. He explains that he lost a key and is desperately looking for it. The young woman offers to help him search for the key.
An hour later, the woman says in a confused tone, 'We've looked everywhere for it, and we haven't found it. Are you sure you lost the key here?' The man replies, 'No, I lost it in my house, but there is more light out here under the streetlamp.'
This is a great example of how we look outside of ourselves for the solution to our problems because it's easier than searching for the real cause, which is inside us. We are the source of our problems, and we need to face that fact because until we do, we can't change anything. We need to look life straight in the eyes and face the facts—no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
Of course, we all want things to get 'better,' but it simply won't happen if we refuse to see things as they are right now. Change can only begin once we acknowledge that there is something we need to change. You might be happy with the way things are in your life—and that's fantastic—but every successful person knows there is always room for improvement.
The very first step to achieving major success and enjoying the things that are most important to you is to take 100% responsibility for your life. Anything short of that won't get you what you really want.
1. 4 Excuses or Excellence?
You Choose
Ninety-nine percent of all failures
come from people who have a habit of making excuses.
—George Washington Carver
American agricultural researcher and educator
Like opposite forces of a magnet, success and excuses just refuse to work together. They simply cannot co-exist.
It's either one or the other.
Taking responsibility means more than just taking initiative and owning up to mistakes. It also requires that we stop making excuses.
As long as there are excuses, there will be no positive r...
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