The idea behind The Successful Divorce is that your family can emerge from divorce safe and sane. People can rebuild their lives. Children do not have to be scarred for life.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Ike Vanden Eykel is recognized as one of Americas top matrimonial attorneys, having been selected by Town & Country magazines Guide to Civilized Divorce as one of the nations top 10 in his field. He was profiled among Texas best in December 1997 by Texas Lawyer and has been selected one of Dallas best several times by D Magazine. He is managing partner of Koons, Fuller, Vanden Eykel & Robertson in Dallas.
A 25-veteran of the divorce wars, Vanden Eykel has appeared on the Sally Jesse Raphael Show and other syndicated talk shows. In the late 1980s, he represented a Dallas housewife in a case that resulted in the book, My Husband Is Trying to Kill Me. Ike was portrayed in the TV movie Dead Before Dawn, based on the book.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Is Divorce the Answer?
Paula glared across the living room at her husband, Robert, as he stared off in space. The couple had just wound down from their umpteenth argument in 12 years of marriage. Both were flushed from the battle. The frustration left an awful, sickening feeling. It always did, whether they were fighting about money or the kids - or what color to paint the new gameroom.
At times like these, Paula wanted to run away from her pricey North Dallas neighborhood. Leave him, this house, their life. Take the kids and go, chuck it all and not look back. And for Robert, there was an ambivalence. Maybe he wanted to see her go.
Divorce: Easy Way Out Or The Only Way to Go?
For at least half the couples facing this scenario, divorce has been the preferred path over the last several decades. As everybody knows, Texas is a big state. It's also a big state for divorce. The latest ranking places Texas 13th among all the states with 5.3 divorces per thousand people, 20 percent greater than the national average. Only Florida, among the 10 most populous states, has more divorces per capita. 1 Each day in Texas, there are 486 marriages. On that same day, 265 divorces are finalized.
I have no documented proof of why divorce is so prevalent in this state. I do know that plenty of really foolish decisions have been made in the heat of passion, by people who essentially love and care for each other, but who don't think quickly enough to hold back and edit what they say or do before it becomes a harsh reality in their lives.
I practice law in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, one of the nation's largest metropolitan areas. It's a place with all the pressures and temptations known to man or woman. Most of my clients are economically advantaged, highly educated individuals from the best-known families in the area. The truth is that divorce affects every socioeconomic class and ethnic group.
That's because no matter what your pedigree, we all live in an era of throwaway relationships. Everywhere we look, people are more alienated from each other, be it kids from parents, brothers from sisters - but especially married people from one another.
Staying married is one of life's great difficulties. But history shows that getting divorced is no walk in the park.
Basic Truths of a Lone Star Divorce
I'm constantly surprised, even by people who've been divorced two or three times, how little the average person knows about divorce in Texas.
A Lone Star Divorce has its own peculiarities. You can watch the Oprah Winfrey Show or Sally Jessy Raphael for information about how to proceed. Keep in mind that those are national shows, and they may be describing a divorce that takes place in Florida or California. Divorce is a matter of state law, for the most part, and state laws differ in how they treat certain evidence and what is under the discretion of the judge in the case.
We're talking about Texas. It's your marriage and divorce with your own particular life story. These certain things will happen, without fail, in every Texas divorce.
Truth #1: Either party in a Texas divorce, unlike in many other states, can ask for and receive a jury trial (although jury decisions that are binding on the court are limited);
Truth #2: There will be a 60-day waiting period from the time you file the divorce until it can be final, even with an uncontested divorce;
Truth #3: Your property will be divided in a manner that the judge deems "just and right" and the judge may look at future earning capacity, who's at fault for the divorce and other criteria in making a disproportionate division;
Truth #4: Unless you have no significant assets or means to support yourself or you and your spouse agree to it, there will be no significant long-term alimony once the divorce is final;
Truth #5: The spouse who does not have primary custody of the children will, in most cases, pay child support to the primary custodial parent after a divorce based on guidelines in the Texas Family Code, according to income;
Truth #6: Joint custody is preferred in this state and you will have to consider jointly parenting with your ex. Joint custody means the sharing of parental rights and duties and does not necessarilymean equal periods of possession;
Truth #7: Both parents will have significant access to their children after a divorce, if they have been involved parents during the marriage;
Truth #8: Once a divorce is filed in Texas and one party wants to go through with it, you can't stop if from happening.
These are the basic elements of a Lone Star Divorce.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Expert family legal advice at an affordable price.,
By A Customer
This review is from: Successful Lone Star Divorce: How to Cope With a Family Breakup in Texas (The Successful Divorce) (Successful Divorce series, The) (Paperback)
This book is important for divorcing couples residing in Texas, because it is expert family legal advice at an affordable price. This is a resource that is a must in our society today. Of special importance is that the book has material specific to Texas residents. That means it is more applicable than books about divorce law, not specific to any geographical location. As I read Mr. Vanden Eykel's book, I felt like I was listening to a trusted friend, who is also a highly experienced family attorney. The book is well organized, clearly relates the history of family law in Texas, and makes references to the law that are easy to follow. Mr. Vanden Eykel's professional, yet compassionate approach to divorce in Texas makes this book a wonderful way to access sound legal advice at a fraction of an hourly attorney's fee. It is this reader's sincere hope that marriages can be reconciled whenever possible. However, if someone is divorcing in the Lone Star State, this book is a sure way to make successful Lone Star divorce a reality. Save time and make Successful Lone Star Divorce the first book you read, about an impending divorce.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
How to Make the Lawyers Rich,
By A Customer
This review is from: Successful Lone Star Divorce: How to Cope With a Family Breakup in Texas (The Successful Divorce) (Successful Divorce series, The) (Paperback)
We are getting a "pleasant" divorce. Very few fights, just have different gooals in life. This book almost got me stirred up. It pushes many hot buttons and wants you to prepare for battle. I promptly destroyed the book for fear that my spouse would find it and get even more stirred up than me.It appears to be accurate, but I can't recommend it.
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