Suck Your Stomach In and Put Some Color On!: What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters that the Rest of Y'all Should Know Too Shellie Rushing Tomlinson has given us another great book. Having enjoying Lessons Learned on Bull Run Road and Southern Comfort, I was ready for a new book of her Southern humor combined with spiritual wisdom. This new one is bigger and better than ever. We have 304 pages and ten big beautiful chapters to enjoy. Every story leads into the next one, but you can pick up her book and open it anywhere to enjoy it. Shellie is a naturally funny person.
Suck Your Stomach In is too funny to read anywhere you are trying to be quiet. For example, she tells why her sisters had plans for a singing group like the Mandrells, except for one little problem. Shellie claims that she can't sing. She said they always grew tired of singing when she tried to join in. One of my favorites is the story about the appropriate response when her mother asked her, "If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?" Buy it and find out the correct answer.
This book is full of lagniappe (extra little bonuses like the thirteenth role in a baker's dozen). One of its bonuses is the expansion of vocabulary through the explanation of Southern speak. "Yard youngun" is an example.
She quotes women from all over the South. Shellie must have hundreds of hilarious friends, because the little quotes are side-splitting funny. She puts their clever comments in little boxes throughout. Shellie, always playful with the formats in her books, keeps her books interesting.
She has placed recipes at the ends of the chapters. This woman knows how to cook. She understands the value of flavoring her food with a combination of the good stuff like bell peppers, celery, and onions cooked in bacon grease or olive oil; and she knows how to cook great food such as crawfish.
She shares the treasures of Southern-Mamahood wisdom about these subjects:
-- What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Life, Faith, and Education:
"Into every life a little rain must fall, but if you have a good umbrella and a tube of red lipstick you can get through anything."
--What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Sex, Dating, and Coming of Age:
"No one would buy a cow when they could get the milk for free."
--What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Love and Marriage:
"There are plenty of fish in the sea."
-- What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Having and Raising Children:
This boils down to trusting your instincts.
--What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Cooking and Stretching the Budget:
She talks about how to stretch food, and she mentions something I've not heard since my childhood: "Save the bath water!"
--What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Cleaning and Keeping House:
She says, "Pick it up and it won't pile up." When will I learn that?
--What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Beauty and Fashion:
Frosted blue eye shadow is for hussies!
--What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Acceptance, Growing Young, and Watching `Ya Figah:
If you have to step into a bathtub with a mirror where you can see yourself, throw a sheet over the mirror.
--What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters about Manners and Social Graces:
Say ma'am and sir. Write thank you notes.
--Miscellaneous Pearls of Wisdom from Our Southern Mamas:
"For a Southern Mama, caring for loved ones isn't optional. It's their life's mission, and heaven help anyone who gets in their way."
Every woman will need a copy of this book for personal reference, one for each daughter and daughter-in-law, and one for each girl graduate.
I am wondering whether we should let men in on all this knowledge. They may take advantage. Oh, go ahead and let the men read it. My man friend got his hands on it. Reading it, he smiled and laughed so much that he now looks ten years younger. He keeps slapping himself. Maybe it's the exercise.
