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I Suck at Girls [Kindle Edition]

Justin Halpern
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (775 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $16.99
Kindle Price: $10.67
You Save: $6.32 (37%)
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers

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Kindle Edition, May 15, 2012 $10.67  
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Book Description

From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as one of popular writing’s great humorists among the likes of David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and David Rakoff. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Amazon Best Books of the Month, May 2012: Sh*t My Dad Says was a runaway bestseller and in his sophomore effort, I Suck at Girls, Justin Halpern proves he’s not just a one hit wonder. Halpern’s sarcastic, utterly lovable dad once again shares his pearls of wisdom--including the best advice I’ve seen on the subject of getting married--but it’s Justin himself who takes center stage this time. Relationships provide great comedic material and Halpern makes the most of his experiences coming of age amidst the opposite sex. From his first crush (yes, he made her cry) to searching for his wild side on a booze-fueled trip to Ibiza, to meeting the girl of his dreams and asking her to stand guard at the bathroom door (no drugs, just a bad BK chicken griller)--Halpern puts it all out there and, as his dad might say, I laughed my ass off. --Seira Wilson

Childhood Photos of Justin Halpern, author of I Suck at Girls


My mom pulled me out of line to take this, by saying "Justy, you're so cute, lemme see your little face."

My little league all-stars jersey. That is the pose of a confident young man.

Senior year of high school. Finally put on some weight. Just starting to get a receding hairline. Well played, God.



Review

“Justin Halpern is brilliant, and his dad is brilliant-er.” (Jimmy Kimmel)

Product Details

  • File Size: 966 KB
  • Print Length: 197 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0062113372
  • Publisher: It Books (May 15, 2012)
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006FOI1KG
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #46,782 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
44 of 49 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Guaranteed Laughs May 17, 2012
Format:Hardcover
I've actually been reading Halpern's stuff from back in his web days. His gift for humor was pretty evident even if he wasn't stretching narratively. Between this book and ____ My Dad Says it's great to see him expand into more of a story-teller, as it's clear he excels at it.
In I Suck at Girls, Halpern moves the focus from his dad to himself (don't worry, you'll still get to hear his dad's opinions on girls and life in general) and discusses his hits and misses when it comes to women. Halpern has an easy, honest style that's pretty easy to tear through (in fact, if I had one complaint it's that book is a bit short).
Definitely check this one out if you liked ____ My Dad Says, or just find some excerpts online and you'll know pretty quickly whether or not it's for you (it probably will be).
Also be sure to check Halpern out on podcast or in person. He's hilarious off-the-cuff.
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Sophomore slump September 3, 2012
Format:Hardcover
"I Suck at Girls" irritated me some, and I am not all that sure why. The book just did not do all that much for me, and although it is a quick and easy read, I was ready for it to be done. A 180 page book of humor should not make the reader feel that way.
Justin Halpern's tales of romance and sex don't have the ring of truth to them that so many of his stories in his first book, "S*@! My Dad Says", seemed to have. I put the book down wondering just how much of it was made up. I also could not shake my suspicions that Justin is a dope, and I get that this is one of his points. However, I did not feel like he was a dope that you would root for.
The most entertaining and worthwhile parts of the text are the moments where Justin's father takes center stage, and there were far too few of them for me to thoroughly engage in the book. Perhaps this premise has now been stretched too thin for the material that exists and Mr. Halpern needs to try something else. I don't know.
For what it is "I Suck at Girls" is an okay read. I was just expecting more. Halpern's observations about romance, love, bad sex, etc. have nothing new or interesting to say, and I guess I was hoping that they would.
I don't regret reading this book, but I am also glad that it only consumed a couple of hours of my time.
Take that for what you will.
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Justin's Dad: "Any idiot can get lucky once..." May 29, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Warning: before you pick up Justin Halpern's I Suck at Girls to read for the first time, be sure to set your coffee down. Failure to do so may result in some spilled beverage all over the book pages or your Kindle.

You know, it really hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose...

Without dropping any spoilers, the author dedicates his newest book to Amanda, and it quickly becomes clear in the first chapter that she was his focus. Early on we find that he has decided to propose to her, so he goes to that one particular person who he knows will tell him, direct and to the point, what he thinks: his dad, Sam. Amanda wants to talk to him, and Justin isn't sure what to do. He wants his dad to shoot straight with him, though his father has a frequent habit of going slightly off topic, as found in this sage advice:

"Human beings do dumb s__t. You do dumb s__t. She does dumb s__t. Everyone does dumb s__t. Then, every once in a while, we have a moment where we don't do dumb s__t, and then we throw a goddamned parade and we forget all the dumb s__t we did. So what I'm saying to you is, don't do something, or not do something, to punish someone because you think they did something dumb. Do what you want to do, because it's what you want to do. Also, bring me a grapefruit from the kitchen and some salt and pepper."

First time readers may be jolted with the frequently profane dialogue issued forth by Justin's eloquent father, who has his own way of expressing himself. Readers of Halpern's earlier book, S__t My Dad Says, will not find this surprising in the least.
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44 of 53 people found the following review helpful
By Jeremy
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I was leery about picking this book up after reading a bland review in the paper. After perusing the book at the mall I decided to take the plunge. Jimmy Kimmel is right! The book is hilarious. I've read most of it before bed and find that it's a perfect light read to end the day. If you read Matt Sedensky's article like I did, disregard it. A guy who's busy tweeting "Elephant at National Zoo in DC plays harmonica with its trunk" probably has an axe to grind.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Close, but no cigar. Good entertainment, though. June 11, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I shot through this book in an evening. Despite, a lot of the hype and 5-star reviews, I can't saw I was as excited by this book.

Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad book at all. It's not an out-of-this-world-great book either. I found it a bit short and a bit so-so.

The situations Justin ends up with women is something that most of us (males) can relate to at some-or-other stage in our lives. Cringeworthy, at best. I think that the majority of the humour in the book comes from his Dad. It might make me purchase his first book.

But, if you want a bit of light-hearted and good entertainment for around the price of a movie ticket (I think the book is a bit pricey, though) and a few good giggles along the way, then give this a whirl. It's fun, it's light and it may even bring back a few memories.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
A very comical read.
Published 5 hours ago by Douglas A Smith
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
A funny book.
Published 8 days ago by Ella M. Rydzewski
4.0 out of 5 stars laugh out loud
Fun book to read. Many nights I woke my wife up while reading because of my laughing. A very quick read.
Published 8 days ago by Colorado dad
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Fun quick read. His books are always hilarious!!!
Published 8 days ago by A.greenwell
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Hilarious. Might be the hardest I've ever laughed while reading a book.
Published 9 days ago by Justin Mermelstein
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!
This guy is awesome. I read his previous book "Sh*t my dad says" and pretty much fell over laughing. Read more
Published 10 days ago by Jill D Hogg
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy fun read
This book is refreshingly funny. Real life is messy and fun and you hope you are lucky enough to have someone on your team like your dad. Read more
Published 14 days ago by Linda D. Hagan
5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book and time past as if I were ...
Let me start by saying I'm not a big reader. That being said, I loved this book and time past as if I were watching an episode of AFV. Read more
Published 14 days ago by Dorian Morris
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Fun reading.
Published 17 days ago by RT
5.0 out of 5 stars enjoyable read
Interesting follow up to "Sh*t my Dad says", great seeing the videos of the author and his father at the end.
Published 20 days ago by Anthony Huntington
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More About the Author

In the summer of 2009, Justin Halpern created a Twitter account as a way to archive his father's no-holds-barred, expletive-ridden words of wisdom. Within a month, @shitmydadsays became an Internet sensation. More than 2.5 million people currently follow Sam Halpern's musings on Twitter and Facebook alone.

Justin's first book, Sh*t My Dad Says (HarperCollins / ItBooks), a collection of essays about growing up with his unapologetically honest father, is a #1 New York Times bestseller.

Justin is also the creator of $#*! My Dad Says (WarnerBros/CBS), a sitcom starring William Shatner, Nicole Sullivan, Will Sasso, and Jonathan Sadowski. He serves as the show's co-executive producer along with his writing partner Patrick Schumacker.

Justin currently splits his time between Los Angeles and his parents' home in San Diego.

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