Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged! [Paperback]

Deborrah Cooper (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 8, 2007

Sucka Free Love! provides down to earth, street-smart insight into hundreds of the tough issues facing dating singles today. Relationship expert Deborrah Cooper shares her common sense and often hilarious insight and no-holds barred advice in a hip, 21st century style. Interracial relationships, handling racist friends and family, booty calls and friends with benefits, dating convicts, ferreting out child molesters and other weirdos, exes that won't let go, jealousy, what women REALLY want in a man, older women/younger men, and how to date with aplomb are just a few examples of the many subjects addressed. Appearing on the list of Best Black Books of 2007, this unique dating guide translates manspeak into English women can understand, and exposes the games and codewords used by manipulative players and gold-diggers around the globe. Sucka Free Love! delivers all that single women need to turn confusing romantic situations around. Inexperienced high school and college-aged women can learn by reading about the poor choices and foolish mistakes of others. More mature women back on the market are provided with tools to date smarter in a changing social market. The book also contains a quiz for those having relationship problems that can help determine if you are dating a sucka or not. Makes a great gift for females of any age struggling with making smart choices in men and love.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Deborrah Cooper gained underground acclaim through her 18-year career of relationship advice counseling, conducting seminars and workshops in the San Francisco Bay Area and as a producer and host of ”HeartBeat,” a cable television talk show in Oakland, California. She was a frequent on-air guest at KMEL 106.1 radio and guest columnist on AOL’s NetNoir channel. Ms. Cooper has been featured in Black Enterprise magazine, on CNN, and interviewed for Ebony, Essence, Honey and dozens of other regional and national publications and radio programs. She has also appeared as a guest expert on the nationally televised talk show “Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus” with host Cybill Shepherd, and featured on BET Television’s “Oh Drama!” Ms. Cooper, writing under the moniker, “Ms. HeartBeat,” has penned hundreds of articles and provided relationship advice to millions on her groundbreaking AskHeartBeat.Com and SurvivingDating.Com websites, as well as for Examiner.Com (San Francisco edition). Established in 1997, AskHeartBeat.Com is one of the longest-running Black owned websites on the Internet, and the first to focus exclusively on Black male/female relationships. Her casual, down-to-earth style of relating to people of all races and ages worldwide afforded her the opportunity to gain sociological data on interpersonal relationships and a perspective that is unique in the industry. In her first book, "Sucka Free Love,” Ms. Cooper dispenses solid advice mixed with a healthy dose of humor to guide men and women in examining their actions, reactions and beliefs about relationships and the opposite gender.

Product Details

• Paperback: 242 pages
• Publisher: BookSurge Publishing; 1st edition (January 8, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1419653857
• ISBN-13: 978-1419653858
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,151,357 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A HIP Relationship Book for All - Are you Ready For This?, February 15, 2007

By 

Priscilla Branch "Priscilla" (Centreville, VA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged! (Paperback)

Sucka Free Love is a very unique peek into the relationship struggles of folks like you and me around the GLOBE. This book is a culmination of almost 20 years of relationship advice counseling, to an audience that doesn't suffer fools or indirect responses. With a solid WHACK, this book comes at you hard & fast. Featured in a slew of media outlets, including nationally syndicated magazines (Black Enterprise & Essence), as well as national talk shows and radio shows Ms. Heartbeat preaches her self-styled methods of self-love and self-empowerment and will whip you into shape with her quick wit and sharp humor. Just imagine a "Dear Prudence" and a "Dear Abby" mixed in with a little Richard Pryor. That's Ms. Heartbeat. And just as quickly as she responds to a letter in the "Street" vernacular, she just as quickly spits out a response that waxes poetic.

This book is not only for those lucky few who haven't gotten caught up (yet) in a relationship that isn't going perfectly; it's also for us embattled "experts" who have been-there-done-that and wear our experiences like badges of honor (or dishonor). Whether you are the dumped or the dumper, the love-torn or the heartbreaker, you will undoubtedly find your experiences within the pages of this book. Wouldn't you like to know that you're not alone? If you're a teenager, wouldn't you like to know the real scoop on the good, the bad and the ugly of all relationships--including those of the adults you most admire? Well, Sucka Free Love does that and more, with a powerful punch. She shoots from the hip, with some of her responses much akin to having a case of Beat-Down falling on your head.

More than likely, you've probably never been given the kind of feedback that Ms. Heartbeat gives. Many advice seekers, who are clearly in agony and want relief, are encouraged to improve in many creative, supportive ways. But there are many letters where a person clearly goes astray and wants to justify burning in hell. Ms. Heartbeat's responses to these letters are not for the feint of heart. You will undoubtedly bowl over with laughter and widen your eyes in disbelief at some of the idiotic situations that folks write about. Especially if you write in looking for sympathy after you've slept with someone else's mate and wondered why they haven't packed their bags to be with you. Yes, yes, Dear Reader, there are folks who have asked how to win someone over after they've slashed their tires, because they can't live without their object of affection. You can be assured that no "innocent" soul is spared from a hilarious but direct response from Ms. Heartbeat.

With catchy titles like I'll Call You! I Love You! Let's Hang Out!; Which Came First, the Chicken Head or the Egg?; Drama Here, Drama There, Stupid Drama Everywhere, the reader will be tempted to read Sucka Free Love in one sitting. Just like a sticky web, you'll be entangled into reading the next question and response, and the next one after that. Some of you may even wonder if that advice seeker was talking about you...

Not including the appendices, Sucka Free Love is a short but sweet 211 pages...just enough to get the point across, but arguably enough to cover just about every romantic stumbling block we may ever face. Including those of us who have suffered from temporary insanity. Letters and responses are written in a way to not be intimidating to anyone, including those of us who are new or experienced to the Love Game. You may find yourself cringing, crying and roaring with laughter at some of the real life situations people have written to Ms. Heartbeat about. Without a doubt, if you pick up a copy of this book, you will find it a truly enjoyable read. Here's to Love & Happiness!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Smart Advice and a Hilarious Read, June 30, 2009

By 

Diana Landen "Bookaholic" (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged! (Paperback)

Sucka Free Love is a hilarious book full of smart advice. My husband picked it up and couldn't stop reading and laughing - and he never reads self-help books.

If you only read one book of dating advice this year, make it Sucka Free Love. Even if you don't normally read books about dating, read this one just for fun.

One of my favorite quotes from page 78:

"Your boyfriend's version of events would lead one to believe he was just walking down the street, casually minding his own business when he tripped and fell, and suddenly found himself screwing that girl. 'What? What's going on here? Hey, who are you!? Security! This is a drive-by screwing! Stop that, my girlfriend is gonna be mad at you!'"

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Relationships Guru Wins 'Top Black Books 2007 Award' for Dating Guide, January 24, 2008

By 

D. Cooper (Oakland, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged! (Paperback)

Advice columnist and dating expert Deborrah Cooper was recently selected for the "The Best Black Books of 2007" award by syndicated critic Kam Williams. Her book "Sucka Free Love: How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged!" has received rave reviews from consumers and critics alike. Ms. Cooper was one of 23 authors recognized, which included Bill Cosby, Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint, and Sonsyrea Tate.

Surprisingly, the decision to write Sucka Free Love! was made on the spur of the moment. "I woke up one morning feeling especially motivated and decided this was the day to stop talking and get busy DOING!"

For months she devoted 6-10 hours per day to writing. "I didn't leave my computer much. Socializing was cut to a bare minimum. I ate, I wrote, I slept. I was absolutely determined! Or maybe crazy is a better word!" she laughs.

The effort required to organize material for and write a book was somewhat of a shock. "We've all said 'oh, I have a lot of important things to tell the world... I should write a book!' Well, let me tell you, writing a book is more than a notion. I write articles for my site frequently. But writing this book... there was absolutely no comparison."

Self-publishing was the chosen option as major book publishers often use contracts which give them rights to change covers, titles and content at will.

"Once I found that out, I decided to publish the book myself. I didn't want anyone to change the book or chapter titles, or any of the content. Spiritually, I felt it important to put the book on the market exactly as envisioned. So that's what I did."

Creative tactics were employed to raise funds for printing and marketing. One popular strategy: home made sweet-potato pies. "I made so many pies... it was just ridiculous!" Cooper says with amusement. "My house smelled like a bakery for months and I gained at least 5 lbs! But it was wonderful to have so many people around who supported this venture and did everything they could to ensure my success."

Sucka Free Love! advises readers on complex dating situations such as friends with benefits, interracial relationships, dating people with addictions or other baggage, and the importance of establishing and maintaining boundaries. "These are the issues singles are, unfortunately, dealing with every day" explains Deborrah.

"Messages are delivered in a way readers can relate to. Sometimes my advice has a humorous twist, sometimes its detailed instructions for change. And sometimes I bluntly tell them they are not making intelligent decisions! But I always tell the truth as I see it, and do my best to provide down-to-earth advice that will help them. The formula seems to be working, because here I am!"

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