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Sucker for Love: A Dead-End Dating Novel (Dead-End Dating Novels) Mass Market Paperback – June 23, 2009

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kimberly Raye is the bestselling author of more than thirty novels, including Dead End Dating, Dead and Dateless, Your Coffin or Mine?, and Just One Bite. She’s been nominated for several Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Awards, as well as two RITA Awards. Her books have been featured in several major magazines, including Better Homes & Gardens and Glamour, and her novel Sometimes Naughty, Sometimes Nice was a Cosmopolitan magazine book club pick. She lives deep in the heart of Texas Hill Country with her husband and their young children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One

Are you tired of nursing down that bottle of O
all by your lonesome? Did you spend the last full moon drinking Cosmos and lusting over the American Kennel Club finals? Do you spend every eve - ning scarfing a Hungry Man (or woman) and watching TiVo?

 If your first reaction was
Uh- oh or How’d she know that? to any of the above, then you are cordially invited to a meet and greet dinner party, hosted by Dead End Dating, Manhattan’s number one matchmaking ser vice for vampires, humans and Others. Join fantabulous host (and incredibly well- dressed vampire) Lil Marchette for a night of dinner and dancing and romance in the pent house of the Waldorf Astoria. Disclaimer—DED is an equal opportunity dating service that does not discriminate based on race, sex, looks (or lack of) or appetite. Net worth, however, is an entirely different matter— i.e., don’t forget the checkbook, debit card and/or Visa Gold. 

I propped up the framed copy of the engraved vellum invitation I’d mailed out to every appropriate single in Manhattan and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach. 

I’m the Countess Lilliana Arrabella Guinevere du Marchette (Lil for short), a five- hundred- year- old (and holding) born vampire. I’ve got super- fab taste in clothes, a to- die- for collection of MAC cosmetics and a hot, hunky, bounty- hunting boyfriend. I so had it going on. 

Ix- nay the nerves, right? 


I’m also the own er of Dead End Dating, Manhattan’s primo matchmaking ser vice for vampires, weres, Others and even the occasional human. As of five minutes ago, I had exactly one week to match up over a dozen paid- in- full clients, otherwise I failed to make good on my Find- your- one- and- only- in- sixmonths- or- get- your- money- back! guarantee. 

Since I didn’t do refunds (not unless I wanted to return half my wardrobe and say bye- bye to my new iPhone), I had to pick up the pace. Pronto. Hence, my latest super- fantabulous brainstorm— the meet and greet dinner party about to happen right here. Right now. 

I drew a deep breath (not because I had to, but, hey, when in Rome . . . ), straightened my green Roberto Cavalli dress (a floor- length, strappy chiffon number à la Rihanna) and finished setting up the hostess table. I added DED business cards, name tags, promotional pens, koozies and calendars, even a few pics and testimonials from previous clients. I sprinkled some rose petals and debated whether or not to hand out the Viagra samples in my bag or just spike the drinks when no one was looking. I knew none of the born vamps in attendance would need a little penis pick- me- up (our entire existence revolved around sex— we were conceived via the nasty, we stopped aging when we lost our virginity, we chose an eternity mate based on orgasm quotients and fertility ratings), but what about the dozens of Others out there? FYI: While I’d been spreading the love to the wealthy and weird for several months now, I’d led a very pampered, sheltered, elitist existence in all the 499 plus years before then (emphasis on elitist). In other words, I wasn’t exactly Dr. Drew when it came to mating habits of the various species. 

The only thing I did know for sure? The hornier the clients, the lower the standards, the sooner everyone paired up. 

I eyeballed the bag a split second before stashing it, complete with samples, under the table. What? So I’m a romantic. I freely admit it (to anyone except my ma, that is). 


The frantic voice drew my attention and I turned just as a frustrated blonde rushed up to me. 

Evie Dalton could man the phones, key in profiles, text multiple clients and suck down a steaming latte— all without smudging her lip gloss. She was the best assistant a vampire could ask for. She was also human, and completely unaware of my fanged and fabulous status. 

The 411 on to night? 

She thought it was just another movie theme party. Like the toga fever spawned by Animal House and the fifties sock hops à la Grease. To night’s brain candy? Contemporary monster mania courtesy of the barrage of recent horror movies such as 30 Days of Night and The Mist

In honor of the occasion, she’d donned a silver jacket with eight sparkly “legs,” a sequined mini– smock dress and three- inch glitter sandals. She looked like Spidey’s wet dream. So good in fact that, with the exception of a fading bruise on her neck and some seriously rank breath, it was impossible to tell that just two short weeks ago she’d been possessed by a demon. And that she’d come this close to heading downtown (way, way down) to become Satan’s own personal bee- yotch. 

I’d been so busy hiding her from the long arm of the Prince brothers (a hot, hunky trio of demon hunters who just so happened to be demons themselves) that I’d sort of let the rest of my work pile up. 

The demon was now back in hell, the Prince brothers were back to making women drool and rounding up hell’s Most Wanted, Evie was back in the office (and munching Tic Tacs) and I was making up for lost time. 

“Say cheese.” She snapped several pics with her digital camera before handing me a clipboard and a copy of the invitation. “I need you to take these and brief Nina while I get them to relocate the flambé table ASAP. The fangs on the ice sculpture are melting. Thankfully I got a picture for our brochure before they completely dissolved.” 

Evie had decided that free donuts and coffee weren’t enough. We needed a high quality, full color brochure to pimp our ser vices. She’d found a rockbottom price (courtesy of her computer savvy/sexual deviant cousin— think small furry animals) and I’d jumped at the idea. 

“Now,” she declared, turning and glancing around the crowded foyer. “Where the hell is that catering manager?” 

“Why not just hike the air- conditioning down?” I suggested. 

“Won’t the guests be cold?” 

“They’ll be more inclined to pair up and snuggle.” She grinned. “I knew there was a reason you were the boss.” She handed me a small box with a corsage. “Make sure Nina puts this on, too. If you can find her. One minute she was at the bar sucking down a Bloody Mary and the next—poof—gone. Vanished into thin air.” 

Or the nearest storage closet. 

“I knew it,” I declared when I threw open a nearby door to find the MIA Nina. 

Nina Lancaster— aka Nina One, the blond half of The Ninas, who’d been my best friends since birth— was the daughter of filthy rich hotelier Victor Lancaster, who owned the Waldorf along with several five star establishments throughout New York and Paris. Nina was rich, beautiful (big surprise, right?) and living with my middle brother, Rob. They’d been seeing each other since I’d hooked them up a few months ago. Judging by the spaghetti straps that sagged near her elbows and my brother’s untucked button- down shirt, they’d been about to see a lot more of each other in the next five minutes. 

I glanced at Rob. His eyes were glazed and hooded. His fangs gleamed. A hungry growl vibrated the air. Okay, make that the next five seconds

Anxiety rushed through me. “Can you please boff my brother on your own time?” 

“I’m not boffing him.” She grinned and tugged her straps back into place. “Not yet.” She touched a hand to her mussed hair. “Besides, this isn’t your time. I donated the ballroom, so that makes it my time.” 

She had a point. 

I traded in pissed- off client for desperately needy friend. “But I need you to screen guests at the entrance.” 

“Get Evie to do it,” she said as Rob leaned in to nibble at her neck. 

“I’m sending her back to the office on a ‘dating emergency.’ I want her out of here before the party’s in full swing.” Which was why I’d purposely scheduled a new client this eve ning. My plan? To pretend I’d forgotten the newbie. I would then beg Evie to handle the profile meeting while I stayed and captured pics for the infamous brochure. “She’s the best assistant in the world. I can’t have her wind up as some vampire’s sex slave, or the midnight snack for a hungry werewolf.” 

Or worse, realize that the fangs I was sporting were the real deal. I wasn’t ready to break the born vamp’s number one commandment— Thou Shalt Keep a Low Profile— and come out of the closet to Evie. My mother would kill me. Even worse, I wasn’t sure if Evie was ready to work for a vamp. So far, she’d been wonderful. But it was a lot to swallow and I just wasn’t sure whether she’d take me out for chocolate martinis to celebrate or call in the rowdy villagers. I hadn’t gone into mega credit card debt decorating my office to have the whole thing wind up torched. Rob kept nibbling and Nina all but swooned. 

“Hello? Did you hear a word I said? I’ve got a nohuman policy happening here.” 

“You’re talking,” Rob murmured, “but there’s nothing coming out.” 

I leaned in and pinched my brother. He paused to glare and I appealed to Nina again. “Evie won’t be here. She can’t be. You have to do it.” 

“Who says?” she asked as Rob resumed his nibbling. 

“Your best friend in the entire universe.” I gave her a knowing smile. “We’re practically sisters. You know you’d do anything to help me.” 

“Which is why I loaned you the ballroom for free.” 

“And I totally appreciate it, but I still need this one teensy, tiny favor.” 

“To night’s my night off.” In addition to being Daddy’s Little Vamp, Nina was also the hotel’s chief hostess. “I just showed up to tell you to make sure that nobody gets blood on the white settees. Daddy will kill me.” 

“I’m willing to beg.” 

“I’m a born vampire. We’re not ge ne tically wired for sympathy.” 

“Are we ge ne tically wired for greed? Because I’m willing to pay.” 

She grinned and shooed away Rob’s hands. 

“What’d you have in mind?” 

I did a mental of my most recent purchases, singling out the key items that I knew would melt her hard- ass resolve. “Ferragamo sunglasses?” 

“I’ve got three pairs.” 

“Michael Kors bangle bracelets?” 

“Got ’em.” 

“Hermès lipstick compact.” 

She shook her head. “There’s no such thing.” 

“If you think so.” I shrugged a shoulder. “But I just happen to have one from the insanely small, limited edition collection purchased by a select few clients who have the right connections.” In this case, a bisexual sales assistant at Barneys who I’d glammed ages ago. I’d been scamming primo purchases ever since. “But if you’re not interested—” 

“Okay, okay. I’m going.” She gave Rob an apologetic smile. “Sorry, babe. What can I say? I’m shallow.” He grinned and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “Just one of the many things I love about you.” A wwww . . . 

My heart swelled for about an eighth of a second before I remembered who was actually in the closet with Nina. 

My very own flesh- and- blood brother. 

Middle- born son of Countess Jacqueline and Count Pierre Gustavo Marchette of the French Dourdou Valley. 

Descendant of one of the first (and snottiest) born vamp families in existence. 

Propagator of the species and all- around playa playa. 

And he’d just used the L word. 

Shut. Up

Before I could find my voice, Nina grabbed my hand and hauled me off toward the entrance to the ballroom. “What color?” 

Rob. Nina. Love? “What color what?” 

“The lipstick case.” She nudged me, shattering my thoughts. “What color is it?” 

I shook away my sudden excitement and focused on the here and now. “Hot pink with rhinestones and Swarovski crystals.” 

“No way.” 

“And there’s even a tiny diamond inlay on the inside mirror near the Hermès logo.” 

She squealed and snatched the corsage from my hands. A few seconds later, she had a single red rose pinned on the bodice of her Carolina Herrera original and the clipboard in hand. “I’m armed and ready. What do you want me to do?” 

“Just greet everyone and check invitations. No one gets inside without one.” 

“What if he’s cute?” 

“It doesn’t matter. No invitation, no party.” 

“Well dressed?” 

“Hand him a business card, talk us up and send him on his way.” 


“Stick a name tag on him and send him in.” What can I say? This vamp had her priorities. After a few more instructions (pass out an extra pack of DED promotional mints to all weres, hand over cologne samples to every demon, ask blood type preference for vamps), I left Nina at the entrance and headed inside to see the end result of eight days of wicked stress and frantic planning. 

The room was huge, with ornate frieze work and gleaming black marble. A large dance floor had been set up in the very center, the circular area surrounded by clusters of round tables covered in crisp white linens. A polished silver candelabra dominated the center of each table. A black napkin tied with gold filigree rope adorned every place setting. Candlelight flickered, making the china and crystal sparkle. Moonlight filtered through the wall of glass windows behind the small (I’m on a bud get, all right?) but tasteful band I’d booked for to night. The place oozed romantic ambience, and for the first time since I’d started planning the event, I actually believed that it might work. Up to that point I’d been running on sheer desperation and crazy hope. My gaze shifted to the far corner of the room and the huge silver fountain flowing with champagne. Next to that sat a Bloody Mary bar. Mary herself wasn’t in attendance (not yet anyway— my mother had sent her an invitation on my behalf), but there was plenty of AB−, vodka and Tabasco sauce to keep the vamps happy. Next to that sat a meat lover’s buffet sporting everything from roast beef to lamb chops. The food was barely cooked ( we’re talking rare) and plentiful for the weres. For the demons? Several gleaming silver tureens filled with split pea soup. Add a dessert bar with everything from fudge overboard to raspberry cheesecake for the few fairies who’d been invited, and there was a little something for everyone. 
In fact, the entire room reminded me of the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disneyland. I had the sudden urge to sing “Kumbaya.” 

Or, in this case, “Monster Mash.” 

Everything looked absolutely perfect. 

Which should have been my first clue of the coming disaster. I mean, really. A roomful of vamps, d-men, weres and fairies? Talk about a massacre just waiting to happen. 

The first to draw blood? A hot- looking brother from down under. At least, I thought he was a demon since I couldn’t smell him (nix vamp), nor could I read his thoughts (forget human) and he didn’t look ready to howl at the moon (so not a were). 

His name was Justin Something- or- other and he was über hot. I wasn’t sure where he’d come from (he wasn’t on my guest list), but I wasn’t about to argue with the whopping cash retainer he presented to Nina when he showed up at the door. Or the Visa Gold Card he flashed for incidentals. He was desperate to find a plus- sized made vampire and I just so happened to have the perfect woman for him. Esther Crutch was a nice, sweet, stylishly chic made vampire I’d met while getting a spray tan at my favorite salon. Unfortunately, the stylishly chic packaged a size 14 body and so Esther didn’t get as much nooky as the rest of her kind. 

Made male vamps were so shallow. 


Okay, so were born male vamps, but enough with the details.

 Esther and Justin. Talk about a perfect match. I introduced them and stepped back to let Cupid do his thing. 

One minute they were doing a hot salsa number and eyeballing each other and the next, they’d traded the ballroom for the sitting area. Go Cupid! I wasn’t sure what happened after that. I just knew, judging by the bloodstained sofa, that it wasn’t good. My heart pushed up into my throat as I stared at the crimson mess. 

“I knew someone was going to spill a drink,” Nina said as she came up behind me. “Daddy’s going to take it out of my allowance for sure.” 

“I don’t think this is a spilled drink,” I finally managed, my voice small and tight. I picked at a torn piece of Esther’s dress that had caught on the edge of a mirrored coffee table. The fabric was soaked with red, the edges jagged where it had ripped on the table. Or where someone had ripped it. 

An image flashed and I remembered Esther, a strange expression on her face as Justin had led her from the ballroom. 

I’d been five steps behind them because I’d wanted a pic for the brochure. I’d paused to calm down an overly excited were who’d been upset because we’d run out of au jus for the roast beef. 

By the time I’d reached the sitting area— my camera poised and ready to capture an eternallyever- after in the making— they were gone. 

“Holy shit,” Nina gasped as the reality of the situation seemed to hit her. Her nostrils flared and her eyes brightened. “That really isn’t wine, is it?” 

“No.” My throat tightened around the word. “It’s Esther.” I forced a swallow. “I think she’s been kidnapped.” The ripe smell of fresh blood flooded my senses. Goose bumps crawled up and down my arms and a strange sense of doom settled in the pit of my stomach. “Or worse.” 

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Product Details

  • Series: Dead-End Dating Novels
  • Mass Market Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; Original edition (June 23, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 034550366X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345503664
  • Product Dimensions: 4.1 x 0.9 x 6.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,155,477 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I'm so excited about my newest series featuring the sexy cowboy vampires of Tombstone, Texas! The first book, THE QUICK & THE UNDEAD, is available now in both print and e-book format. Here's a little teaser . . .

Ever dream of being hand-cuffed by sexy lawman Wyatt Earp, kidnapped by the slick outlaw Jessie James, or courted by the dashing Wild Bill Hickok?

Then welcome to Tombstone, Texas, where anything is possible, even your wildest fantasy. Tombstone, once a haven to the biggest, baddest outlaws in the state, is now a tourist town that gives travelers a taste of the old West, from gun fights at high noon to drinking and dancing at the local saloon. What visitors don't realize, however, is that the outlaws walking the streets aren't just actors--they're the real deal. Because the town wasn't just a gathering place for outlaws back in the day, it was also a haven for vampires. And while many people have come and gone over the years, the men who run Tombstone have been doing so for nearly two hundred years. A group of ancient and very powerful vampires, they feed off of sex, as well as blood and, for the right price, are more than happy to play out even the most sensual fantasy. So step right up, folks, and book your trip today! The outlaws of Tombstone will be waiting . . .

I hope you'll check out this first in my brand new series and order your copy today! And don't forget to visit me on the web at!

Much love from deep in the heart . . . Kimberly Raye

Customer Reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Pacey1927 VINE VOICE on July 28, 2009
Format: Mass Market Paperback
The fifth book in Kimberly Raye's Dead End Dating series delivers more of what fans have come to expect. Some laugh aloud moments, some dating disasters, and a threat to charming vampire matchmaker Lil's afterlife. "Sucker For Love" finds Lil's friend Esther kidnapped right from Lil's matchmaking party. Lil, against warnings from about everyone, plans to rescue Esther herself. The mystery was ok, but in the Dead End Dating series the mysteries and murder are really just a side plot. I wish Ms. Raye would realize that the best moments in these novels are those which star Lil and her friends. Even better, those moments are the ones that focus on Lil and her crazy matchmaking schemes and clients. Lil is similar to MJD's "Betsy" but better. She feels real and fleshed out in a way Betsy hasn't for many book now. Lil wants to be a baddie vampire but she is tenderhearted and compassionate. She is strong when she needs to be and always very loyal. This book was at its peak when Lil was in a dumpy hotel in a small town, dealing with they barn animals outside and the old lonely hotel manager. The scenes with Lil's mom trying to sabotage her new daughter in law were great as well. This reader almost forgot about the Merlin and friends murder and rescue plot. The 'climax' scene featuring the kidnapping resolution was actual very anti-climactic and vaguely disappointing. This is a rare series that doesn't need to be a thriller or heavy duty romance. It can stand alone as a comical, light romance story. The characters are strong enough.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By C. A Scovel VINE VOICE on December 5, 2009
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This series is on the verge of being done. Our main character Lil is in and out of trouble yet again. She is still madly in love with Ty (a non-born vamp) and is still in credit card debit. In this story she is on the hung for a wizard that has stolen one of her friends and is going to kill her. She is tenacious and always fashionable while still having a sense of humor. A quick fun read.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Anna Hope VINE VOICE on August 11, 2009
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Lil Marchette, the fantastically fashionable and hopeless romantic vampire owner of Dead End Dating, is in a bit of trouble as usual. This time her guarantee to find several clients love in a certain amount of time or their money back is about to expire but her credit card bills are well and truly alive and breathing down her neck. Returning hard won money is unthinkable when she has makeup to buy. So as a final push she stages a ball at the Plaza for all the species to mingle and find somebody to love. And just when everything looks like it can't get any better, a warlock kidnaps her made vampire friend Esther(from the series first book) and Lil is desperate to get her back before she's tortured to death as part of a ritual spell.

On top of that, as if that wasn't horrifying enough, Lil's mother is trying to drug Mandy, her new and horrifyingly human daughter-in-law, with contraceptive pills in an effort to keep her from bringing a non vampire baby into the family. Her secret boyfriend, Ty the bounty hunting made vampire, is having commitment issues that are driving Lil loopy. And the Nina who is dating her brother, one of her best buds, is having commitment issues of her own and a crisis that's well worth reading about!

With her family overwhelming her and time ticking down, Lil takes matters into her own two manicured hands only to have all her troubles follow her across the country. Weirdly everything works out in the end, just not as she or the reader may expect. This was a very fast paced read without the heaviness that dragged the last two books down. I was laughing out loud more than once and am definitely looking forward to the next book which there was a great teaser for at the end of this story. I can't wait to see how Lil gets out of the next crazy predicament!
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Format: Kindle Edition
You don’t have to know whether Twilight is that dusky after-dinner time or something much more to enjoy Kimberly Raye’s latest romp, Sucker for Love. Fifth in Raye’s Dead End Dating series, Sucker for Love will have readers happily suspending reality to forget protagonist Lil Marchette is a vampire when she sounds just like their BFF.
It’s terms like BFF, OMG and all the other dead-on (pun intended) slang and dialogue of self-proclaimed “divalicious darling” Lilliana that will suck readers into the latest book in this lovable if improbable series.
Book five finds Lil, her personal assistant Evie and her BFFs Nina One and Nina Two trying to rescue Dead End Dating from the economic downturn when a handsome crasher at her PR event makes off with a regular client and the “rescue” takes on epic proportions.
While trying to rescue her customer Lil deals with her own inattentive boyfriend, cops with direct ties to the Down Under (waaay down in vampire terms), and her own lusty brothers and their girlfriends. Seems everyone’s finding true love except Lil, and she can’t even find her kidnapped client. Although it’s a life-and-death caper, nearly every page brings a laugh, and if that sounds like an oxymoron then Raye may have just created a new genre: Paranormal Romance Suspense Humor or PRSH, as Lil would call it in her BFF code.
Some of the funniest dialogue comes with Lil’s encounters with her mother. Female readers from teens to 40-somethings can appreciate the overbearing mother/exasperated daughter dynamic. I certainly did. And then I tucked the book into my 26-year-old daughter’s purse.
Earlier reviews have compared Raye’s character Lil to Stephanie Plum or Betsy Taylor. This book’s back-cover blurb cites Bridget Jones.
Read more ›
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