Customer Reviews

Suddenly Strangers

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Disclaimer: I am a friend of Brad and Chris.

We Mormons have an image of apostates. It is not very flattering. One of the main ingredients in being an apostate must certainly be sin. Surely, anyone who leaves the Church must either be currently involved in serious sin or desire to be so. This will sufficiently darken his mind that he will either lose his testimony of the Church (if he ever had one), or he will become so depraved as to fight against the Church even while continuing to know that it is true, thus "denying the existence of the sun at noon day".

"Suddenly Strangers" challenges this notion. It gives us an example of two brothers growing up in a large Mormon family that is totally devoted to the Church. Through the influence of their parents, siblings, the Church, and their own innate characters, Brad and Chris learn to love that which is good and right and true. At the age of 19, they serve two-year missions for the Church teaching others about the Gospel. For years thereafter, they continue to serve the Church in various "callings". Sometimes questions about the Church emerge, but they are never thought to challenge the truthfulness of the Church. Perhaps there are things we just can't understand right now about the Gospel and the actions of our leaders. Eventually, however, the shelves and shelves of unanswered questions become too full and must be faced head on. This leads to an unexpected journey through confusion, doubt, and pain.

When Brad and Chris eventually tell their families and friends of their decision to leave the Church, they find themselves "suddenly strangers". Some who have known them all their lives and respected their goodness suddenly see them as evil; hide your women and children, here come Brad and Chris. It is decided that they must be evil, wicked men based not on any evidence whatsoever to that effect, but merely because they have chosen to leave the Church. And surely that is proof enough that there must be something terribly wrong with them.

Over time, some of these initial reactions have begun to soften. If there was a sudden darkening of minds, perhaps it was not those of Brad and Chris, and perhaps, now, light is beginning to return.

In my opinion, Brad and Chris Morin, by providing a glimpse into their own lives, have given us important insight into the lives of many others who have left or will leave the Church.

Among books on Mormonism, this would rate six stars if that many were available. The two brother-authors take you inside Mormonism, present and past, from two honest and intelligent viewpoints. You'll live with them through their upbringing, family life, missionary years, rearing of children. They'll walk you through an unusually masterful presentation of inconsistencies, contradictions and conundrums within the Mormon world (which I know well, having been in it from birth, still a member of record active on an infrequent basis).

Though the church's astonishingly massive lying is clearly and accurately exposed, it is done with understanding, not rancor or bitterness. Sordid reality is documented alongside of the wonderfully enchanting positive side that so many Mormons experience and that most public-relations descriptions feature.

This is poignant, powerful, lyrical writing, not ordinarily to be expected from a couple of "numbers-people," not "word-people." That is, an experienced reader would guess something other than math & science as the academic training of these surprisingly gifted writers.

For those who want a candid and clear view of the best and worst of Mormonism, there is no better book. This spectacular presentation is, without exaggeration, simply in a class by itself. (And, no, I've never met them and have no connection with them.)

Think, for a moment, of your closest confidant, kindred spirit, and soul mate. Now imagine waking to find they no longer know you. They hardly recognize your face, no longer understand what you are thinking, or share your deepest feelings and greatest fears. They look at you - no, they look through you - as if you are a stranger.
Though you might never guess it from the slick, family-centered commercials they air, this is the all-to-common heritage for thinking members of the Mormon Church, who take the difficult road to intellectual apostasy.
"Suddenly Strangers" is the story of two brothers who were raised in Utah, in an "all-American family" complete with doting mother, devoted father, loyal siblings, and a deep attentiveness to their religious faith. It's hard to think of a more fitting picture than sun-speckled boys and girls working the family farm during the week while attending their deep religious Mormon faith, members of arguably the most successful and fastest-growing American-born religion.
Theirs is the story of courageous intellectual strength resulting in their eventual departure from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and subsequent journey into that realm where family and friends became, suddenly, strangers.
Few religions castigate their apostates as viciously as does the Mormon Church. Those who dare leave discover siblings and once-close friends who now view them contemptuously as misguided at best, and lost souls, or Sons of Perdition, at worst. It is a legacy of shattered familial relationships and lost friends. Parents grieve with despair at the thought of spiritual consequences darker than death. Local congregations whisper quietly while busybodies speculate about the cause of such wickedness in their mists, and wonder in awe at what great sin (was it adultery or fornication?) lead the apostate to lose his way and succumb to the temptations of the devil.
It's a tale as old as the church itself, but this story loses its effectiveness in the abstract, antiseptic environment of statistics and detached descriptive verse. This is a story that truly can only be lived. For everyone else there are the heart-felt stories of people like Brad and Chris who, through their engaging accounts, have offered us a the opportunity to see life through the eyes of just two of many fine and honest intellectuals who finally found the courage to say "No." "No" to the lies, and "no" to the deception.
In reading this book, you will experience the early exuberance of being a member of the "only true church," content to accept without question whatever your leaders tell you. You'll follow the metamorphosis from unquestioning sheep to thoughtful and critical explorer. Through these pages you will experience the simultaneous despair of learning a lifetime of indoctrination was based on lies, while at the same time learning the un-paralleled exuberance of finally being free to let your intellect soar. And through it all you will see the sudden transformation of family and friends from dearest companions to strangers.
Each person who makes this choice arrives at the conclusion in his or her own personal way. For some it is the many conflicts between Mormonism and science. For others, Brad and Chris included, it is the way the Mormon Church denies some of its most embarrassing and controversial doctrines in public, and misleads its members regarding the role the Church played in Utah's past. Two issues are particularly worth noting. One is the ethical problem of misrepresenting doctrine, and the other is the intellectual problem of holding on to "the only true and living church," given the violent, sexist, and racist doctrines of some LDS prophets such as Brigham Young.
Although the real power of this book is on the emotional level in describing the reaction that Mormons often (typically?) have when someone leaves the fold, Brad and Chris have included some helpful and interesting historical and factual information as well (found in the appendixes). The information relates primarily to two areas: the church's past denial of, and involvement in, polygamy, and especially the unholy tendency of some early leaders to acquire the wives of other men. It most definitely was not (as I was taught) a case of "old women" being given in plural marriage as an act of charity. Rather, it has all the characteristics of good old carnal lust.
The other area relates to violent doctrines taught by early prophets of the church relating to what's called "blood atonement," where the offending Latter-day Saint is expected to relinquish their life (slitting the throat is the prescribed method) in order to atone for sins (like apostasy from the church) that are not covered by Jesus' atonement. The appendix material describes these teachings in detail with excerpts from early church documents, and shows how the bloody sermons of Brigham Young and other Mormon General Authorities led to such horrific crimes as the murders at Mountain Meadows.
For those who have an interest in Mormonism, and want to get a clearer look at the human equation, this book is a must. It's well written, engaging, informative, and (gauging from my own experience) both accurate and relatively typical.

In the six years that I've lived in Salt Lake City, I've been struggling to figure out what motivates Mormons to act the way they do - their bizarre behavior - especially toward people who are not of their faith. This well written, fast reading book gave me insight that I haven't been able to glean from a number of similar books (mostly because they were written with what I felt was a bit to much bitterness and exaggeration). "Suddenly Strangers" has a great mix of personal history and well researched Mormon history that I think anyone wishing to just understand the Mormon behavior and thought process will find valuable.

I knew nothing of this book when I picked it up, and I must say I couldn't put it down.

I left the Mormon church more than 20 years ago and yet, until the last few months, had not looked closely at the reasons why I am no longer a believer. I must say my initial exodus was mostly due to an overwhelming sense of unrest and distrust. I couldn't put a finger on it, but something wasn't right ... something felt dishonest and deceitful.

A few months ago a dear friend joined the Mormon church, and I subsequently lost the friendship because I am an "apostate." This loss prompted me to study and learn more about the patently absurb genesis of the religion and the contradictory teachings of its own leaders over the past 175 years (these contradictory teachings are well-documented in this book).

In "Suddenly Strangers" the Morin brothers give voice to my feelings of loss and betrayal; my grief at the loss of what I believed was "the truth", and the loss of esteem of beloved friends and family members.

My own dear father, a devout Mormon and a truly good man for 86 years, passed away December 30, 2005. His funeral service, held this past week, left me with a profound respect for the genuine goodness of most Mormons and their deeply-held beliefs; however, I also feel a profound sadness that these beliefs are illusions conceived by a charleton and propogated by false prophets.

I only hope that my life journey will result in the peace and resolution that the Morin brothers seem to have found.

Thanks for an excellent and extremely well-documented book!

(Note to Amazon: As an author, I prefer you do not include my number rating of the book. I rate it only because it is required to submit this review.)

We grew up in the rural west in a society dominated by our uniquely American Church, in a faithful Mormon family of eleven children. It was like being raised in heaven. We sang in choirs, milked cows, played sports in high school, distinguished ourselves in mathematics, and at age nineteen, we each dedicated two years of our lives to proselytize our beloved faith in New Zealand and Korea. As we continued in our devotions to God and in our whole-souled quest for exaltation, one of us completed a Master of Science degree in mathematics at Brigham Young University while the other completed a Ph.D. in mathematics at The University of Texas. We both taught mathematics in the college ranks, married beautiful, faithful, hard working women, and started raising children as delightful as any father has ever loved.

We had complete confidence in our God, the eternal essence of our cherished family unit, and we knew the cardinal purpose and nature of the universe. We knew we were a peculiar people; God's chosen, to be exact. The fruits of abundant goodness and accomplishments within the Church were only part of the ample proof of its divine origin. We were at once proud of and humbled by God's goodness to us and for entrusting us with His priesthood.

No unflattering history of our Church by anti-Mormons could divert our lofty gaze. No scientific theory could shake our belief in God's version of the earth's history, the origin of humankind, or in our belief that we were gods in embryo. We looked with pity and wonder at those who would not acknowledge the logic, beauty, and promise of "the only true and living church on the face of the earth." For those few who apostatized from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we felt mild contempt and took solace in knowing that God would deal with them appropriately. We considered our confidence in honest and critical analysis to be compatible with our religious faith. We willingly withheld judgment on the puzzle pieces that did not quite fit.

When sufficiently discomforting observations finally drove us to double check our religious facts, the spiritual crash came with stunning speed and impact. Much of what we once cherished did not survive the initial blow. After the crash, a long and difficult journey began. While under condemnation from family and friends, our stream of jarring discoveries, from months of intense research and introspection, left us feeling embarrassed, angry, amused, bewildered, and invigorated. We also gained new friends and a new world view from some welcomed insights and surprises.

Brad & Chris Morin's "Suddenly Strangers" chronicles their respective experiences apostatizing from the LDS faith. The Morin brothers were bred in a strictly LDS environment and both followed the well-trod path of the highly respected, upstanding, LDS priesthood holder so their eventual realization that the LDS faith is founded on false precepts and that the "prophets, seers, and revelators" that have led -- and currently lead -- the LDS church are mere men pretending to have a direct line to God is especially disconcerting.

The authors aren't antagonistic toward the LDS church, rather, the sentiment most palpable is the sense of betrayal they both felt because the LDS church makes a deliberate effort to withhold any information that may compromise the tenuous foundation upon which the faith is erected (if the truth is in fact impenetrable, then an open scrutiny of it ought to be encouraged). In spite of this perceived betrayal, however, the authors remain compassionate relative to the virtues of the LDS church and their family members still committed to it.

The realization that Brigham Young was not the noble, reverent, & compassionate prophet of God especially bothers the Morin brothers. One such sermon that, incidentally, is also considered scripture, concerns the trivial method by which women (his wives, in particular) are suppose to bake bread: "Do not put your loaf into the oven with a fire hot enough to burn it before it is baked through, but with a slow heat, and let it remain until it is perfectly baked; and I would prefer, for my own eating, each and every loaf to be not thicker than my two hands - you tell how thick they are - and I would want the crust as thick as my hand" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p.193). Apparently, nothing is too trivial to be considered scripture.

In sum, this is a very readable book and one that every skeptical Mormon ought to own. Recommended.

This book is bound to be an eye opener for anyone who has blind faith in any religious organization (no pun intended). It is based on an axiom that is so obvious that it's almost silly to have to say it: unquestioning faith blocks access to truth. But since we rarely consider that axiom when harboring our own belief systems, whether they are religious or humanistic, this book provides an extremely powerful lesson and forces us to look within ourselves. The book is a compelling documentary of two faithful temple recommend holding Mormons, who dared to open their minds to verifiable factual information even though they had been discouraged from doing so. The resulting level of personal paradigm shift for these two brothers goes beyond ordinary experience. And the story of the subsequent impact on their relationships with their family and friends is fascinating.

The book illustrates through real personal experience that there are only two attitudes towards truth - skepticism and cynicism. As these men transformed from unwavering faith to skepticism, it is clear that their earlier condition was really a form of cynicism, the closed-minded assumption that everything that disagrees with one's cherished belief system is a lie. So blind faith and cynicism are really the same thing, and the only rational alternative is skepticism, the attitude that everything is open to testing.

Although the book presents overwhelming evidence for the value of skepticism, it uses only a few anecdotes to reach further to its implication that all forms of faith are incompatible with skepticism. It doesn't distinguish between faith that contradicts itself, or that contradicts verifiable evidence, and faith that is not contradictory. This is an interesting study in the basis of belief systems. Their faith in God vanished automatically and simultaneously with their faith in their organization. Clearly the subject of their religious faith was the organization, with a testimony that it is "the only true church on the earth." Their experience illustrates the danger of having religious faith in an organization. If the truth of the organization crumbles, then all faith and hope for eternity crumbles along with it.

It is a compelling story that I found impossible to put down once I started reading it.

I want to avoid detailed criticisms of this wonderful book, but I think the following concern should be mentioned. The book indicates that according to one of their scriptures, God directed Abraham to lie about the status of Sarai, and that this "differs slightly from the Bible version" of the story. I'd say that it differs fundamentally because according to the Bible, God did not direct Abraham to lie. Abraham invented the lie on his own. I assume the word "slightly" was used sarcastically in this book. When scripture teaches that God commands people to lie, then lying becomes one of the ordinances of religion.

So much of anti-Mormon literature is boring, rote, intellectually dishonest and laughably lightweight. This book is none of those things. It doesn't fall into the normal anti-Mormon trap of hysterics (usually expressed through interesting typography like bolding, underlining, italics, exclamation points and all caps -- and sometimes all at once), hyperbole and sloppy reasoning. The book instead sets up the classic paradigm of pitting a priori knowledge against a posteriori knowledge. Happily for Chris and Brad, Locke wins over Descartes.

But this is more than just two peoples' struggle to square historical reality with their religious instruction. It's also a tale of morality, a tale of what one's ultimate values are. It really is, in its small way, a tale of courage. Paul Tillich defined courage as the doing of something "in spite of." At any time, either Brad or Chris could have given up their search for truth with few ill effects. Instead they chose to do the right thing in their minds and both suffered much, and risked much more, as a result.

Additionally, the book is actually quite humorous in parts. I particularly enjoyed the varied and sometime hilarious reactions of siblings and relatives. Everything from "Don't come near my children!" from a sister to serene acceptance from a brother. And Brad's and Chris' parents deserve gold stars for not freaking out like so many of their children did.

However, the book does have some drawbacks. Throughout the book but particularly in the later chapters, the brothers take aim needlessly at various Mormon doctrines. Obviously, some discussion of the questionable events and practices surrounding Mormonism are necessary to understanding why the brothers apostasized in the first place, but toward the end of the book it seems that they employ a shotgun approach, commenting not only on the big issues such as BofM unsubstantiated archeology, polygamy and Blacks and the priesthood, but also on more obscure and less relevant controversies such as Brigham Young's reputed anti-Semitism, the post hoc inclusion of prophesies, Mountain Meadows, Adam-God and blood atonement. It seems that Brad and Chris are merely showing off their knowledge of these issues, as opposed to demonstrating how these issues actually played a decisive role in their apostasy.

Nevertheless, this is an outstanding book and the first anti-Mormon book I've read that has honest emotions and reasoning woven throughout. I found myself nodding in agreement at parallels to my own religious experience, most importantly the experience of fear of confronting received religious faith and the satori of understanding that the defect had been within me all along. I have felt what Brad felt: "I was alarmed by the discovery of my own moral arrogance, by how condescending and intolerant I had been...I [realized I] am the master of my own deceit."

I was fascinated by this book, and I am really glad I read it. These two brothers were born in the LDS church; and it wasn't until they were mature adults that they decided they didn't believe in it any longer. Their main reasons for distrusting and leaving the church are 1) the distortion of Joseph Smith's and Brigham Young's practice of polygamy. They rely heavily on Compton's excellent In Sacred Lonliness, but such information was new to almost everyone until this sentinel book was published. 2) the doctrine of Blood Atonement. This is something that was widely preached by the leaders and performed in the early church--leaders now deny it ever took place. There is abundant evidence to the contrary, and the Morin brothers give the reader a good taste of it. 3) Brigham Young's Journal of Discourses. There are so many sociopathic statements in these volumes to scare just about anyone. 4) careful denials by current church leaders of past events that would paint the church in an unflattering light. 5) the book of Abraham, as "translated" by Joseph Smith.

The Morins write very compellingly about their struggle to leave a whole way of life. They convey to the reader very effectively that they did not want to leave--they were comfortable. They really felt that the only way to be honest to themselves and those around them was to get their names removed from the church membership lists. It was very gutsy of them to tell their families and friends, when it might have been easier to just try to "fade away" from activity in the church (especially for Chris, as he didn't live so near his relatives). So many of their concerns about the church and its culture were proven correct by many disgustingly self-righteous responses from those who should have promised to stand by them no matter what they believed. They emphasize that some leave the church not because they've broken a significant church rule--they just disagree or stop believing the stories.

A couple of problems, though. The endnote style is very distracting, I was mildly annoyed by all the flipping back and forth to the appendix, even though the endnotes were at times very valuable to the particular argument. It seemed a little incongruous to quote Jefferson, Emerson, and Ben Franklin--and then add their own little maxims. You write a book to quote yourself, so no other "quoting" is necessary.

The book was not as well organized as it could have been. The Morins give the story to us in the order all the significant events occurred. Unfortunately, that means they describe leaving the church and then finish the book with their paraphrasing some ghastly bits of early Mormon/Utah history.

Whatever these small faults, the book was really thought provoking for me, and I found it to be very well written and very logical in its arguments. I would recommend it to any member or former member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.