The Suicide Index: Putting My Father's Death in Order (Paperback)

by Joan Wickersham (Author) "In the airport, coming home from vacation, he stops at a kiosk and buys grapefruits, which he arranges to have sent to his daughters..." (more)
Key Phrases: New York, Franz Axel, American Express (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
In spare prose, Wickersham (The Paper Anniversary) has produced an artful and vivid memoir. Within the index of suicide, she has found a form capacious enough for both intimate detail and general information; cold data and lyric moments; for mystery and for consolation. As she follows her father's suicide chronologically from his death through a passage of 15 years, she doubles back through family history (her mother's, her father's, her husband's), telling the story under such subheads as anger about, other people's stories about, possible ways to talk to a child about, romances of mother in years following. Her search takes in matters as mundane as the police investigation, as academic as the nature of biography and as disquieting as the issue of suicide. The elementary facts—when, where, and how—are straightforward, even simple: My father got up early one morning, went into his study, and shot himself, but her pursuit of why leads Wickersham and her reader into the unanswerable questions [and] unresolvable paradoxes that give her book classic qualities. (Aug.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review
Written in the form of an index, an acknowledgment of Wickersham's inability to frame her father's act in any conventional linear form, this memoir is written in a cool, economical and ultimately piercing style utterly devoid of easy pathos or cliché. Anyone prone to facile dismissal of the memoir as literary high art should be silenced by the perfection of Wickersham's prose and her ability to hold the facts and her feelings up to the light, turning them again and again to reveal yet another facet of grief, anger, love, pity and guilt. --Laura Miller, Salon.com (Dec. 8, 2008) --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Mariner Books; Reprint edition (June 23, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0156033801
• ISBN-13: 978-0156033800
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #208,837 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #35 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Suicide
  #79 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Death & Grief > Suicide
  #82 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "It's like he busted through the guardrail.", July 23, 2008

By	Luan Gaines "luansos" (Dana Point, CA USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: The Suicide Index: Putting My Father's Death in Order (Hardcover)

Wickersham takes a very tragic experience, applying a logical index to ungovernable feelings, penning a memoir of her father's suicide that is honest, painstaking and filled with emotional landmines. From the morning she receives the call from her distraught mother, to years later, still grappling with the complicated feelings- acceptable and unacceptable- that plague her life after this loss, the author exquisitely describes the long, dark torment of those left behind by such an act of self-annihilation. The first response, of course, is numbness, a soft-lensed vacuum that allows the family to survive the early days of shock, the outpouring of support from friends and relatives, with the occasional flash of inexplicable rage that lurks beneath the surface. It is the following years that dominate her grieving process, thinking and rethinking what could have been done to prevent the suicide, to intervene.

The elephant in the room, of course, is the undeniable violence of such an action, so heinous and selfish as to belie any daughter's memories of a loving, slightly eccentric father, a man carrying the scars of a brutal childhood and a lack of business sense that adversely affects his family's financial security. The bonds between this eldest daughter and her father are like steel cables; she favors him over her mother, with whom she has an uneasy, somewhat antagonistic relationship, especially after the suicide, the mother flapping wildly through her own jumble of confused emotions, both guilty and self-defensive, left pondering the interminable, unanswerable question: why? Although the author has a sister, it is the nature of such a loss that the sibling is hardly mentioned. This is an intense, solitary journey, an anguished, chronically self-obsessed need for answers, a patient husband dealing with the fall out years later.

Wickersham catalogs every nuance, every instinct, every possibility, trapped in a dilemma not of her own making, her life haunted years after the pivotal event. She is stuck, unable to move forward, happiness no longer a viable expectation. It is to this writer's credit that I continue to read this memoir: I didn't particularly like her father or his final resolution to overwhelming problems. On the other hand, neither have I experienced the kind of bond shared by this man and his daughter. No, I was in it for the experience, willing to follow wherever Wickersham might lead. If she has the courage to flay her soul in search of answers, who am I to shy away? "It's a crooked, looping, labyrinthine story." Indeed, it is and one with no easy answers or facile resolutions. I hope this troubled man appreciated his extraordinary child and her capacity for compassion. I doubt I would have been as forgiving. Luan Gaines/ 2008.

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Stunning Memoir, July 7, 2008

By	Violet Quill (Waltham, MA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Suicide Index: Putting My Father's Death in Order (Hardcover)

Every once in a while a book comes along that you know will be classic. Such a book is Joan Wickersham's eloquent and honest account of her father's suicide. The book works brilliantly on a number of levels. It is a deeply moving work that sheds great light on the ripple effects of a suicide. Wickersham's writing is so captivating that you feel like you're taking this journey with her, right in the present moment. Beyond this, "The Suicide Index" is an exploration into how we construct and reconstruct our past to make sense of our lives. The use of the index is so integral to the telling of this story it's impossible to see how any other format would have worked. All of this is to say that the book will obviously appeal to those touched by suicide, but it should also be required reading for anyone interested in the memoir. "The Suicide Index" is a rare find these days: a truly original piece of literature.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Elegantly, objectively and with great wit and depth, August 2, 2008

By	Sally Gardener "Red Pencil Sharpener" (Provincial Connecticut) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Suicide Index: Putting My Father's Death in Order (Hardcover)

One of the edgiest topics for the human being to explain to oneself, let alone set down for an audience : suicide. Perhaps easier if one's own intended is the story but this is a father's suicide taken on by his eldest and perhaps favorite daughter.

Joan Wickersham does something brilliant and highly original in what is both a journal and a once-upon-a-time consideration of a man's life.

In compelling yet often dispassionate and sometimes hilarious chapters, Wickersham considers the facts about her family's biographical and social, bodily and geographical conditions as clues to the inevitability of this death.

In an almost seamless and well-paced manner, Wickersham makes it possible for the reader easily to join her in turning over pieces of clothing, pastry, furniture, or trinkets with the possibility always present that there is not just an explanation for this tragedy but an (imaginary) reversal of the fact that this man has willingly removed himself forever from life.

This is the story of a mid-20th century individual set before us by the writer's ease with which she slips contemporary events in with narratives about a disparate cast of artistic, impractical, cruel, aristocratic, and forceful forebearers. She offers us the earnest 1950's Americans and their aspirations in the post WW II business world alongside the disengaged WASP yacht and horse set of 1980's; the uncertain intimacy of the psychiatrist's quiet, with a tremulous, frustrated mother's voice to an inarticulate, depressed young child.

And we are taken to both dark or comic corners : the anatomically specific autopsy report read by a daughter of her father's body, an unconventional Dance institute performance by an aging doyenne observed by an embarrassed father and granddaughter; we meet the dopplegangers of her father who Wickersham embraces, as well as her plump, self-deluding mother who perpetuates failures of romance even in her years of decrepitude.

Wickersham has a particularly clever but highly original take on certain quarters of American life - early 20th century cultural immigrants, the educated and aspiring of the Eastcoast, the perserverance of children faced with the incomprehesible, with abandonment. But this is not a sappy tale nor leaden, but it's a dense one which moves quickly and somehow, like the daughter-writer, we want one more chapter; we don't seem to want an end to the facts of a suicide.

Helpfully, she incorporates a strong bibliographic epilogue of Western writers on the topic of suicide, couching the auto-biographical issue with which she is faced, in sturdy, graceful objectivity.

The reader easily comes along on every page with this reluctant, brave, and highly intelligent daughter as she attempts to assume and then banish responsibility for her parent's suicide.