Suicide Survivor's Handbook: A Guide to the Bereaved and Those Who Wish to Help Them [Paperback]

Trudy Carlson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 1995

Based on personal experience and extensive grief research, this practical compendium is filled with frank advice for fellow survivors. Dealing with the three major survivor's issues (the question "Why?", anger over the event, and guilt) the book gives description of typical patterns in grief process and offers helpful steps to recovery. Chapters include dealing with others, handling holidays, and effects of death and tragedy on the family unit. Of special interest is a portion of one chapter devoted to grief issues of surviving children.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"It is the most helpful book I have read on bereavement. It answers the questions we all ask when we're grieving. I think this book is a "must read" for all suicide survivors and their loved ones who feel so incompetent as they search for understanding and ways to help the bereaved. Reading it helped me understand why my precious 13 year-old son died by suicide." -- Margaret K., facilitator, Suicide Survivors Support Group, St. Mary's Medical Center

"The chapter on guilt is "right on!" -- Mary K, mother whose 15 year-old daughter died of suicide

"This is a terrific manuscript. You did a beautiful job of mixing in just the right amount of your personal experience to make the subject real for those who have not directly experienced it. This book is very readable and very practical. I found it helpful and think that many others would too." -- Carrie M. Brochardt, M.D., Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Medical School, University of Minnesota

"This is a very well written, thought-provoking, and much needed piece of work. You write with such eloquence about this, I suppose this is why "write what you know" is universally recommended to writers. I was deeply moved by your very absorbing, heartfelt writing." -- Patt Jackson, writer, and freelance editor

"Trudy Carlson is a courageous woman. This book, written as a result of her son's suicide, demonstrated the transformative power of grief. It is the first book I would recommend to a survivor of life's worst nightmare--the death of a child by suicide. I learned so much from it. Although Carlson in no way minimizes the extraordinary grief a survivor experiences, she demonstrates how one can grow through adversity, and thus offers hope." -- Mara Kirk Hart. Writer, and Teaching Specialist in English and Women's Studies, UMD.

THOSE WHO WISH TO HELP THEM: "Educational, touching, and at times painful, no detail is left out. This book comes as the need for it increases. No parent or educator should pass up a chance to read this book.. Trudy provides details from her own experience and valuable secondary sources for a well-rounded and insightful book." -- Robin Blatnik, M.A.E.S., English and Composition Instructor

THE BEREAVED: "This book really helped me. It was just as good the second time I read it as it was the first." -- Monica N., mother of 15 year-old son died of suicide

From the Back Cover

A book every suicide survivor will want to read themselves and recommend to their friends.

It answers the questions of

The survivor: Why did my loved one choose death? Am I to blame? Could I have prevented it? How can I deal with my anger? How long will my pain last? What effect does the death have on me and others close to us?

Their friends: What do I say? How can I help? What is the bereaved going through? What should I avoid doing because it will cause more pain?

The helping professional: What are the differences between suicide survivors and other bereaved persons who lose someone suddenly? What can I as a grief counselor, clergy, medical personnel or mortician do to help these survivors?

This book deals with the three major forces confronting the survivor

The question: Why?

The shame and guilt

The anger associated with losing a loved one It is a practical guide through the various stages of grief arising from personal insights.

Suicide Survivors' Handbook is a much needed book for use in a physician's practice. The book is very insightful and loaded with practical information. It is a very useful book for survivors of suicide and just as useful for any type of loss of a loved one. I will be more than happy to use it my practice. -- Kenneth L. Irons, M.D.

Honest, insightful, well written and optimistic. A very important book for the newly bereaved, their relatives and friends. Very helpful for educators and for professional who work with teenagers and suicide survivors. This book is a must for all Suicide Survivors Support Groups and those who work with the bereaved. -- Ben Wolfe, M.Ed. L.I.C.S.W., President, The Association for Death Education and Counseling

Trudy Carlson M.S. operates small health care facilities. She taught university classes in child, adolescent and developmental psychology; the psychology of the exceptional child, personality and mental hygiene and other courses. Her fourteen year old son committed suicide.

This book will be read over and over again by anyone who wishes to understand one of life's greatest challenges -- coping with loss. Whether you are a suicide survior yourself, or want to help someone who is, this book provides the objective information and emotional support so helpful during grief.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 150 pages
• Publisher: Benline Pr (February 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0964244306
• ISBN-13: 978-0964244306
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,213,828 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this book!, January 29, 2000

By 

PJ in Minnesota - See all my reviews

This review is from: Suicide Survivor's Handbook: A Guide to the Bereaved and Those Who Wish to Help Them (Paperback)

I first read Carlson's book about 3 years ago, and since then have re-read parts of it and given copies to friends who were struggling with the aftershock of suicide.

The title may be a little misleading; though I initially read the book because of a suicide, I discovered later that it could apply to any death that a reader may be coping with.

This guide addresses not only the grief and angst of suicide, but also deals with the minor details we may never think of until we really need them: What do you say to a grieving parent? Is it best to not say anything and avoid bringing up hurtful feelings? What about holidays and special occasions?

I found the book extremely helpful and enlightening. The hard-learned lessons that made the book possible shine through on every page. Carlson writes from experience and from the heart about a subject most of us are ill-prepared to deal with. I highly recommend this book.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I Highly Recommend This Helpful Guide, June 22, 2001

By 

PJ in Minnesota - See all my reviews

This review is from: Suicide Survivors' Handbook - Expanded Edition (Paperback)

I first read this book about 4 years ago, and since then have gone back to look at passages that were particularly helpful to people struggling with the aftershock of suicide.

The title may be a bit misleading; although it's about suicide, it's also applicable to any death that a person may be dealing with. Carlson's book addresses not only grief and anxieties associated with suicide, but also the little details we don't think of until we really need them: What do you say to a person in grief; how do you handle anniversaries and special occasions when someone is surviving a loss, etc.

I found this book helpful and enlightening, especially knowing that Carlson learned all these details through experiencing a significant loss in her family through suicide. She writes not only from experience, but also from her heart. Technical how-to's are a dime a dozen. This one's different.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Parent/child and adolescent focused, May 14, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Suicide Survivors' Handbook - Expanded Edition (Paperback)

This is the first book I have read about suicide since my sister's suicide about 5-6 weeks ago. Just a warning to others that Carlson's book is far from a generalist's view on suicide. There is a heavy concentration on identifying depression in youths and adolescents as a way to stem potential suicide risk. As a result, I ended up breezing through several sections that I just didn't find relevant. Other major concentrations in the book discuss parent/child relationships though for very young and adolescent children but again, not too relevant to my situation.