Customer Reviews

Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls

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4 star:		(1)
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2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I'll write a proper review when I feel like being in a really bad mood by reliving this book. As another reviewer wrote, I and many, many of my friends are considered perfectionist, overachieving women, but this book just isn't for or about us. The author makes sweeping generalizations and says, over and over (usually implicitly, but sometimes explicitly) that only very privileged women can be "supergirls." She says in interviews that this is not true, but her book says otherwise. (She specifically says that low-income immigrants, girls with acne, and girls who don't visit tanning salons CANNOT be supergirls, for example - and that's just the start.) I guess it shouldn't surprise me that the author paints supergirls only in terms of her own experiences, and only interviews others with nearly identical experiences. I also can't understand how the author is minoring in Women's Studies, because so much of it seems blatantly sexist and lacking the insight I've found in even introductory gender studies classes - there is certainly no concept of intersectional feminism in this book, and the author makes no room for dissenting voices on topics as basic as female sexuality. (According to Funk, only men can enjoy casual sex, but women cannot, and yes, Funk can speak for ALL women. And that's feminist how...?)

The editing is sloppy, and although there are a few places where Liz Funk absolutely shines, she pisses me off too often to redeem herself. I have hesitated to publicly write anything negative about this book, because the author herself has published articles on how wrong and mean it is to criticize a writer online - but I feel like this book deals with such an important topic so poorly that I can't be silent, plus, hey, I love talking about literature. The point is for "supergirls" to speak out, isn't it?

This is the only book that has upset me enough to actually keep a reader's journal - I just needed a place to write down all my objections.

To be fair, this book was labeled "Self Help," and I am rarely impressed by this genre. Also, to be fair, despite my privilege, I am not Funk's audience - I have already graduated from college (recently though it was), and I'm not rich enough to read this book. I took out student loans and pay my own bills, my god! I can't be a supergirl!

I hope someone else writes on this topic in a form that can be labeled Gender Studies. I'll wait till then...

I snatched this title off the shelf at Border's and shelled out the 15 bucks for it, salivating with excitement to read a collection of stories about women like me, who have sacrificed peace of mind for over-achievements. I, too, have been trying to relax my over-competitiveness and perfectionism "on paper" as I enter my mid-twenties. I was a bit miffed at the pink, girly cover, since not all women are hyper feminine, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she just really likes the color. I was a bit weary that the author's scope may be limited to privileged, upper-middle class, white "good girls," but I thought, surely a book about overachieving women wouldn't be anything like chick lit.

Boy, was I wrong.

Within the first few pages, I had to remind myself that the author was only 19 at the time of writing it, so perhaps she didn't have the most developed perspective on the "Supegirls" issue. Perhaps I misunderstood her definition of "Supergirls." She gets one thing right: that people need to learn to enjoy their lives and not succumb to society's pressures to be perfect. A good lesson for anyone. However, when she began overgeneralizing "Supergirls" as needing to juggle perfect social calendars and being seen at all the right club scenes, I flipped. This is ridiculous. Never have I met a true, over-achieving "Supergirl" who would ever waste her time primping for the male gaze and bar-hopping or wasting a night on the town. True "Supergirls" would be embarrassed to be seen at such vapid venues. They're in their rooms getting ulcers from studying so hard, winning national scholarships, meeting foreign ambassadors, getting fellowships to prestigious programs, Photoshopping their headshots for speaking engagements, picking the perfect business suit colors to garner authority, running way too many nonprofits and organizations, practicing their 10-second personal pitches, and yes, of course, looking put-together as pie. Many of these talented girls happen to be beautiful, as is the case with that rare type of "Supergirl" drive/talent/excessiveness, but I'll be damned if they are out in clubs with babydoll dresses listening to top 40 and drinking watermelon martinis, or whatever the hell those are. And I'll be damned if all of them are colorful skirt-wearing, heterosexual-subscribing, upper-middle class, chick-lit reading, Girl Power enthusiasts. Many of these "Supergirls" are just really successful people who DO need to "stop and smell the roses," as Funk would say. Not hyper-feminized goody goody girly girls.

The objectification of the female body and the subsequent effect it has on girls (anorexia, bulimia, debilitating low self-esteem, insecurity, etc.) is a HUGE issue, but it is NOT the "Supergirl" issue. Like the "Supermom" issue, it's DIFFERENT from the intellectual/academic/professional overachieving issue. Look at the women winning Fulbrights, personally assisting Obama in their mid twenties, the valedictorians of the Ivy Leagues, the women achieving things NOT on behalf of womanhood, but on behalf of humanhood. In my mind, true "Supergirls" have bigger things to worry about than body image insecurities, as these completely fall to the wayside of academic and professional success. They exist, but they are NOT at the core of perfectionism and over-achievement.

A little more research on Funk revealed that she falls into the collective feminist voice that speaks "Wow, women really CAN be smart, beautiful and successful." Once she, and other new-wavers stop acting so surprised that women can be better-than-average, perhaps this world will be a better place for all humans, regardless of sex or gender.

Funk is clearly bright, but not brilliant with this publication. I was very upset after reading a few chapters and skimming through the rest, because I bought it based on my desire to improve my life by not being such an overachieving stressball myself. I am returning this book to Borders, today. It did not help me, at all. I continue with my struggle to relax and accept myself as not being perfect.

I predict the following types of girls will connect and identify with this book: average, hardworking girls who try REALLY hard to get good grades, get into a decent enough college, LOVE pink, look nice for the boys, are conflicted between traditional roles of women and their achievements, and seem popular on Facebook. They're not movers and shakers. They're really good conformers.

True female geniuses, overachievers, lesbians, rags-to-riches, brilliant rabble-rousers, the ones who are more humanist than feminist? These are only a few demographics that this book completely ignores. I want to hear about more about THESE women. Not autobiographical chick lit. Hyper-feminine women are only a part of the female demographic, especially the over-achieving ones.

Before I close, I'd like to mention that I skimmed some later paragraphs in search of some retribution for Funk, but instantly came across a "you/your" typo, and shut the book for the last time. That was enough for me.

Liz, if you read this, please do not hesitate to contact me regarding this review.

[...]

This book is rushed, superficial and slight. Funk says proudly she managed to get this published by the time she was 20--she should have waited a few years, revised it considerably, and written something much deeper and better thought out.

What is a Supergirl?

They're the high school class president with the constantly shiny hair who applied to over twenty Ivy League schools and always brings homemade goods to every bake sale. They're the college girl involved in a million clubs who shows up five minutes before the 8 a.m. class with no signs of her late night out, followed by many more hours of studying. They're the gotta-have-it-all twenty-something who busted her butt in college and is already on the same level as women ten years older in her field.

They're any girl who has packed her schedule, keeping herself busy with volunteer activities, who always manages to look perfect, regardless of how tired, stressed, or anxious she feels.

This is the plight of the Supergirls, the slew of young women who have decided that nothing short of perfection will do. By following the stories of five overachievers from different walks of life, and interviewing almost a hundred more, this book examines the lives of these girls to find out why they feel this need for perfection, and what they can possibly do to avoid the eventual burnout.

This book disappointed me by placing most of the blame on faceless entities such as "societal conditioning," rather than offering more concrete advice to young women who may be stuck in this harmful cycle of achievement and compliment addiction. Regardless, the stories in this book were an interesting foray into the psyche of a population that is often stereotyped and ignored, for the simple reason that "they have it all; how can anything be wrong in their lives?"

Reviewed by: Allison Fraclose

First off, her advice to apply to no more than eight schools is flawed. There is an element of luck in the process because so many highly qualified applicants apply. You could apply to all ten top tier and get into two, if you're serious about going to one of them, then you should apply early to your top choice, and if you don't get that, then apply to the rest.

The book is valuable because it makes known and somewhat accessible a sweeping phenomena that isn't always recognized. For supergirls, their reputation of perfection makes it not only hard to reach out for help, but also makes no one take them seriously when they do. Her description of the girls being close to tears even when they are smiling and bubbly couldn't be more true, and yes, anxiety attacks, eating disorders, and all manner of health problems are shockingly common. This needs to become known, because these girls need help and they aren't going to get it until more people understand.

But at the same time, she doesn't adequately represent the problem. She has an n of five, with other anecdotes and a few statistics thrown in to support her story, but it's incomplete. She blames parents, blames societies, but no where does she laud the pursuit of excellence, nowhere does she give the girls credit for their great accomplishments. Her assumption is that everyone's goal is simple happiness, she doesn't leave room for a legitimate desire for excellence and perfection. Some people don't want the good job and happy life, they want the accomplishment, and society needs those people too. I can't help but imagine that the girls she observed would be offended at how she belittled their independent action and their goals.

Toward the end she judges the girls by saying they make their work load harder than it has to be. There's a lot to unpack here. Is she really criticizing a 15 year old girl for carefully going through journal articles for a project? They are hard to get through even when you're qualified enough to do so, so yeah, it's gonna take a while to understand, and it isn't wrong of her to want to build the analytical skills necessary to do so. That isn't idleness, that's bettering herself. Similarly, even if those five girls she observed tended to spend what the author claimed was excessive time on certain things, lots of girls that would be classified as supergirls don't. They just do more things. That was my high school experience, at least. And finally, there is nothing wrong with putting your all into what you do, and going the extra mile.

There is a lot of contradiction in the book. She blames parents for heaping on the pressure while discussing how the girls claim they aren't pressured by parents, (not to mention judges parents with cynical remarks while saying there's too much pressure on parents to get it right.) She claims that girls need to receive recognition from school while complaining that overachievers are recognized publicly. The list goes on.

The book describes supergirls like they are a terrible anti-feminist consequence. But this isn't a problem only for women. My high school experience was quite different, where the strata that I was competing most heavily with was predominantly male. They worried about looks, grades, colleges, and extra curriculars too. Furthermore, when describing the unnecessary actions these girls take when coordinating details, she ignores the power that comes with that. These girls are seeking attention, but they're also seeking control, (whether because they want to feel control over their lives, or because they like being in control, or both). When you are the coordinator, when you pay attention to details, then you also orchestrate how things happen. You have power to create, power to get your way, power to shape the environment. In this way, girls and young women are shifting the power balance between gender within their social circles. And I wonder how the boys who are growing up now, surrounded by competent and powerful women who were always in control, are going to be socialized differently compared to today's adult male population.

The book reads easy but is repetitive. Every chapter tried to shock and awe the reader with variations on the same story, (girl works hard, girl doesn't sleep, girl has breakdown). I felt like it could all have been condensed into an article rather than an entire book. Perhaps the stories might be more shocking to someone of another generation, but to me they seemed mundane--even unimpressive at times. That's not to say the that the girls she observed weren't marvelous students, just that some of her anecdotes weren't particularly impressive. To top it off, she used a ridiculous number of exclamation points. That doesn't add suspense or excitement, it's just distracting and comes across unprofessional. They were jarring. I found myself distracted from her deeper points because they were so lost in the repetitive examples and over-excited sentence structure.

That being said, I'd recommend flipping through this book or one like it if you're unfamiliar with the issue. It does shed a relatively good look at the pressures facing today's teens. It's a problem, and one that needs more attention. I'd just rather she focus on promoting coping mechanisms, health education, and means of promoting self confidence; rather than demonizing the pursuit of excellence.

Liz Funk's masterpiece "Supergirls Speak Out" is incredibly insightful, delving into the lives of so many teenage girls and young women as they experience all the pressures of society as they develop into womanhood. She accurately defines these girls to whom good enough is never enough. Being a so called "Supergirl" myself, I found her work to be scarily accurate and shocking as I, too, discovered that my friends and I, our school, and our culture is not unique in the pressures and unbelievable expectations that are laid upon us. It is both comforting and disturbing to know that we are not alone in feeling old at the peak of our adolescence. Funk is not only an outside observer and reporter on the secret lives of these Supergirls, but she also speaks from the personal experience of being an overextended Supergirl herself. Her personal stories and anecdotes add a sense of understanding and personal investment into this report. She adds not only her own stories, but those of other Supergirls in today's modern era, turning this otherwise news report into something much more meaningful and relatable.

Being in high school with a clique comprised entirely of Supergirls, I have seen and helped my friends through more than the fair share of breakdowns from being overextended and exhausted. Piled onto our rigorous school work and societal expectations, the fear of our undecided futures is a lethal combination. This book has made me realize that we Supergirls are not alone and that this over-exhaustion is common among us who believe that enough is never enough. I for one, will be making this book a frequent present to all of my Supergirl friends, as I found it incredibly helpful and insightful into our own Supergirl dilemmas.

Reading has always been my escape - my way to relax and head off to another world. That being said, I tend to look for works that inspire me or make me feel something while still being fresh and enjoyable. However, every so often I also try to read something with a little more substance that can help me grow or learn something new. Super Girls Speak out: Inside the Secret crisis of Overachieving Girls by Liz Funk was the latest book that really made me think about myself and my journey toward personal acceptance. This ethnographic-memoir-self-help book talks about the increasing number of girls who are striving to be perfect in every sense of the word. From overbooked social calendars to chart-topping grades to having the perfect hair color, girls (and grown women) are placing high, sometimes unrealistic expectations on themselves and feeling the pressure. The book is probably geared more toward college-aged girls than my more "mature" self. But I found the book fascinating. Even though I am a bit older than most of the girls covered in the book, I could totally relate to the feelings of insecurity and self-driven pressure to be the best. Whether it is having the "perfect" body or the "best job", perfectionism spans the generations. The stories of harried high school life brought me back to my own teenage years when being popular, smart and beautiful were top priorities. I could still relate to many experiences even in my post-collegiate "grown up" life. I'd like to say I've "grown" out of the perfection model, but that would be a lie. Perfectionism is something that lives deep within me. I am working on accepting my flaws and learning to love the life I live instead of coveting a "better" one. Funk gave some interesting insight to a world I know too well and reminded me that I am not alone. While being the best is not always a bad thing to strive for, it is not the end-all, be-all of life. Our flaws and mistakes are what shape us and make us individuals. There is nothing wrong with striving to do more, but sometimes it's good to stop and breathe. This is a definite recommended read for any woman who's ever struggled with what it's like to never be satisfied.

Supergirls Speak Out is a well-researched look not only at the pressure girls experience to be "perfect" but also at what can be done about it. Plenty of us have observed ourselves or heard others say that today's kids are busier than ever. But what are the side effects of this need to achieve, especially for girls?

Funk's writing style is engaging as she discusses her interviews with girls and women in various stages of their lives (high school, college and young working professionals). Her voice is authentic and will resonate with the intended audience of the book; Funk's own experiences--that took place not too long ago--lend credibility to her topic.

Recommended for teenage girls, as well as parents and other adults who want to understand what's behind the fact that "today's kids are busier than ever" and how they can help ensure that the girls and young women in their lives remain true to themselves and embrace their individuality.

Supergirls... ended up being a book that surprisingly drew me in right away. Normally I only read fiction, and mostly chick lit at that, but Supergirls was great. I think I ended up liking it because it was almost like chick lit nonfiction.

As a 24-year-old single woman, Funk's tales from real-life girls was like reading my diary (or any of my friend's) and I could relate to so much of it. I could see this book being required reading for a sociology class or a women's studies class in college--it would actually be something I'd have loved to read!

Like any new author, Funk does have some room to grow with style and maybe branching out to different types of writing would be interesting to see. For a first effort, this is a great accomplishment.

"Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls" delves into the hidden problems overachieving women encounter. Everyone knows a "supergirl" but people are too afraid to talk about the turmoil "supergirls" face on the inside. Funk researches this prevalent but overlooked phenomenon in a fun yet insightful voice. She delves into the issues of being a "supergirl" and recognizes the pointlessness in trying to achieve perfection. Society has been waiting for someone bold enough to confront this issue with such honesty. This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to stop being a "supergirl" and start living!