Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present [Paperback]

Lillian Faderman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 17, 1998

This classic cultural history draws on a rich variety of sources - from the writings of Casanova and Henry James to Ladies Home Journal and Adrienne Rich, along with trial records, love letters, pornography and more to explore 500 years of friendship and love between women. Lillian Faderman sheds new light on shifting theories of female sexuality and the changing status of women over the centuries. Surpassing the Love of Men demonstrates how nascent feminist values have always played a role in women's passions for one another and in men's reactions to them, from revulsion to ridicule to admiration.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

First published in 1981, this feminist classic began modestly as an academic essay on Emily Dickinson's love poems and letters to her future sister-in-law, Sue Gilbert. In her original introduction, Faderman recalled her surprise at finding these records of an erotic attachment between women that showed no evidence of guilt, anxiety, or the need for secrecy. Yet 60 or 70 years after they were written, the original letters had been bowdlerized by a niece of Dickinson's, who clearly found them too shocking for publication. Why, Faderman wondered, was passionate love between women, once almost universally applauded in the Western world, now almost universally condemned? She learned that the love between Dickinson and Gilbert had many precedents, and that it was only in the late 19th century that medical literature and antifeminism combined to rank women who loved women "somewhere," as she puts it bluntly, "between necrophiliacs and those who had sex with chickens." For this new edition, Faderman explains that she has resisted the urge to update her text, hoping that her exploration of romantic friendship, from French libertine literature through the dawn of feminism through the lesbian panic of the 1920s will still serve as "solace and ammunition" for those hoping to find "a usable past." --Regina Marler

Review

"One of the most significant contributions yet made to feminist literature" -- "The New York Review of Books"

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Product Details

• Paperback: 496 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (June 17, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0688133304
• ISBN-13: 978-0688133306
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #525,918 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A text for women who are "wondering", January 13, 2009

By 

Amy D. Moore "dalehwest" (Bennington, VT USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present (Paperback)

Recently I was asked for a list of books for "an adult who is just beginning to explore whether or not they may be bi or lesbian". As someone who went through this many, many years ago and has written extensively on this topic, Faderman's book was one of the first that came to mind.

As individuals exploring our own sexuality - regardless of what that is - gaining historical context and perspective is a critical part of self-discovery. This is not the only book I'd recommend and it has a scholarly aspect which borders on clinical for a woman (or man or other) on the road to self-discovery.

I cannot count how many copies of this book I have purchased over the years, highlighting various passages which held out special meaning or purpose for me, and passed on to others. In the end, we all have our own paths and Ms. Faderman's book manages to cross most of them.

For those on a personal path, or those looking to understand the concerns and needs of a loved one trying to understand their place as a lesbian and bisexual in today's world, this is an excellent text for reading and gaining historical perspective. Bravo to Ms. Faderman for not 'updating' a historical text but letting her original research prevail.

14 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars 3.5 stars but this thing doesn't do halves, July 27, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present (Paperback)

The author forcefully insists on the real passion between the women that she studies; this becomes to me repetitive and distracting. However, given the historical context of this book, in which a "lesbian recovery" of history was less accepted, I see the purpose of her tactics. In any case, the author draws together a wealth of evidence that makes for fascinating and provocative reading, even if she does lean a bit too much on literary examples as proof of what attitudes were "really." She makes a strong case, though. Recommended.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Really Compelling Stuff, May 6, 2008

By 

Page Scott (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present (Paperback)

I'm surprised there's only one other review for this book! It's absolutely fascinating, and should be on the list of anyone interested in not only womens' issues, but human relationships in general. It will definitely make you think, but it is not a difficult read, and Faderman covers an impressively vast array of sources. I'll be recommending this one to everybody.