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Surrendering to Marriage Paperback – Bargain Price, June 5, 2002
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Top Customer Reviews
Krasnow is not arguing that you surrender to your husband or make yourself subserviant. Krasnow simply recognizes that people are imperfect, and that a marriage is simply a pair of two imperfect people. My take-away from from her stories is basically that people in marriages need to answer the question: What mountain do you want to die on? If your husband doesn't fold the clothes like you asked him to, is that worth making your life miserable? Is it worth letting that problem snowball into larger problems, like beliefs that he doesn't respect you or your needs? Is it worth letting unfolded laundry and uncapped toothpaste lead ultimately to divorce?
The best story in the book is Krasnow's own: she is leaving to go to the store, and asks her husband to do a few chores while she is gone. On her way back from the store, she works herself up into a fury, knowing he hasn't done the chores. When she gets home, she sees the chores were started, but stopped, and can't find her family. She finds her husband and four boys in the playroom making a tower out of ALL the Lego blocks. She notes she had two choices: Be ticked that he didn't do what she expected, or be grateful that he was such a good father. She chose the grateful option, and went and folded his clothes- a chore she hated to do because she thought she was teaching her sons that "wives fold the laundry."
The primary basis for her argument is that perfection is problematic.Read more ›
Couples need to let go of the fantasy world they have created for themselves. As children, little girls were read fairy tales of the prince who would whisk his princess off to a beautiful castle where they would live happily ever after. Little boys, too, were read stories of the strong, fearless warrior who would conquer the world and ride into the sunset astride a gallant, white horse. Alas, that is the world of fairy tales and fantasy, but it is far removed from the real modern-day world.
Too many couples live with the expectations of their childhood. They are in love with what they want love to be. The only constant in life is change. There will always be periods of joyful bliss but there will also be obstacles to overcome and times of pain and sorrow. The ups and downs, joys and sorrows, successes and failures are all part of the journey through this world; they ARE our life. Half the battle is accepting each other for who we really are; accepting the strengths and weaknesses, and realizing you cannot change the other people, you can only change yourself. This book has a way of making the reader see the importance of, rather than working against each other, working together to overcome life's challenges. Share the laughter, but also be prepared to share the pain and sorrow, and life's obstacles. I highly recommend this excellent self-help book; the author offers some very wise suggestions on how couples can let go of the fantasies and misconceptions, and strengthen their relationship in a realistic world.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
After reading The Secret Lives of Wives, Iris is becoming one of my favorite women's authors. I have just started Surrendering to Marriage, and it is exactly what I needed to hear... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Mark
While I found the book interesting, and I certainly don't disagree with Iris Krasnow's perspective on marriage (being raw, boring, exciting, loving, and a lot more both difficult... Read morePublished 15 months ago by DarthW
Just reading the "Look Inside" excerpt, I saw a quote about divorce - how children are now thought by some psychologist or other to be "permanently damaged" by... Read morePublished 19 months ago by Heliopolis
It's a comforting book, although the same advice seems to be repeated throughout, and the writer writes well, but not in a structured, organized way.Published 20 months ago by Tropical Girl
Unfortunately could not look past this to get any enjoyment out of the book. On almost every page of the kindle there were grammatical and spelling errors. What a waste of money.Published 23 months ago by kim
This was a great tool to have along with many relatable stories. I often feel as if my situation and feelings are unique but this book proved there are many couple going thru the... Read morePublished on January 11, 2014 by x&z'smom2
This book caught me totally off guard with its life lessons! It is transformative! Go into it with no expectations, and you'll emerge a different, delightful soul.Published on June 15, 2013 by PJ Sands
As a 30-something year old wife and mother, I do not usually find time to read self-help books, however this one was lent to me by my mother and I'm so glad to have read it. Read morePublished on March 19, 2013 by Particular Consumer
Her main point is good, but a lot of her 'example' stories didn't support it.
She's pretty liberal, and it comes through in her writing - which is fine, but I'm thinking that... Read more