Customer Reviews

Surrendering to Yourself

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I enjoyed Krasnow's first book, "Surrendering to Motherhood," but can't say this one is worth reading. It goes on and on about....nothing.

Here are some of the things that make Krasnow happy and help her to rediscover who she is: Working out with her trainer, getting away to the beach without her husband or kids, drinking coffee in her peaceful riverfront kitchen and feeling sorry for the poor souls who have to fight traffic to get to work at dawn, going away to an expensive sleepaway camp with her sons, and driving her shiny, sporty Ford Escape that reminds of her being young, carefree and childfree (she uses an additional car to tote the boys around town).

For those of us without the luxury of time, a third personal car, a personal trainer, a rich husband, etc, it will be a little more difficult to re-discover our souls. We're too busy paying bills, working, trying to find the time to spend with our children, friends and husbands.

I am awestruck...not because the book is terrific but because some people have figured out (or found agents who've figured out) how to write books about incredibly obvious things -- and make a handsome living at it. Furthermore, I love it when rich people tell me to put my feet up and savor the "good life," a life they probably wouldn't be able to savor themselves if they didn't get handsome checks for writing dreck like this. I haven't learned this much from a book since Suze Orman told me to look behind the sofa cushions for spare change.

I enjoyed this book, particularly the real-life examples of people who found themselves when they stopped trying to get approval from others. This book is worthwhile for anyone who is off purpose and is ready to find themselves. ... You deserve to live your best life!

This book spoke to my soul. It came to me at a time when I was at a crossroads in so many levels of my life. Even though I am only 28, have not had children yet and haven't had the same amount of life experience as Iris, I related to so much of what she writes about. I found peace, liberation and an insight into my own truth in this book.

This is not the type of book so popular now. Iris does not offer step-by-step instructions to happiness. And, I cannot think of one profound message from the book; rather, I have gained a whole new appreciation of ME and the life I have made for myself. This book introduces you to folks that know exactly how to put into words all the magic that life has to offer. So many times I thought to myself, "I knew that!" If you want to be validated and want to feel like you are reuniting with your best friend (yourself), this is your book. Definitely one of the best books you will ever encounter. Go for it!

The other day I stopped by the library to pick up a few books I had reserved and I decided to browse a bit. I love libraries and searching through the stacks to see what they have. I love the "library smell" of old books and the quietness as well as the feeling of being surrounded by old friends. I paused at the psychology section and one book seemed to shout at me from the shelf, "Hey, pick me! Pick me!"

I did. I took it off the shelf and couldn't put it down.

Surrendering to Yourself: You Are Your Own Soul Mate by Iris Krasnow was a fascinating read for me. It's about knowing who you are apart from your relationships and your employment. It was prompted by her wondering - and fearing - what her life would be like when her children left the nest. Who would she be then?

This is a dilemma faced by many parents whose lives are invested in and entangled with the lives of their children when it's time for the children to leave home and begin their own journey through life. It is also a dilemma faced by professionals who, when they retire, have no identity apart from what they've been doing for the past fifty years. "What do I do now?" they wonder and don't have a clue where to turn.

Krasnow talks about discovering and nurturing the soul. She says:

It is impossible to hear the soul if you don't stop, even for a day or two, and disconnect from the world. I mean really disconnect. From email and faxes and beepers and connect with what is crying out inside of you. I am clear of my own cry right now, and it is to discover a self beyond the labels mom, wife, writer. Whatever titles you hold, parent, attorney, teacher, nurse - make sure you too are trying to know the self beyond, parent, attorney, teacher, nurse - make sure you too are trying to know the self beyond your job description.

Your children are not you. Your spouse is not you. Your job is not you. And until you consciously go there, dig there, move the other stuff out of the way for a while and hang out with yourself, the you of truth remains a buried jewel.

Many of us face an identity crisis sometime in our waltz through life. The music changes its beat and we don't know how to dance to it. Crises of "who am I?" and "What am I supposed to do now?" sometimes follow a major life change such as divorce, child birth, children leaving home, graduation, change of job or profession, the death of a loved one. Or it can emerge when you realize with a shock that your life is on hold, that you're living on automatic pilot, cruising through the days without noticing much of what is going on around you. It happens,too, when one day you look in the mirror and realize that you have grown old and, searching through your mind and emotions, find that your goals have been met, most of your dreams have been realized and now what? (Find new goals and new dreams, of course. What fun!).

I was looking for more material on self esteem - something new, perhaps some "how tos" for this blog. I didn't find it in this book.

What I did find was a warm, down-to-earth, life story by a brilliant writer who had the courage to bare her soul for all of us to see and know. She tells her own story and includes fascinating and personal narratives by many others. While she doesn't give you bullet points on how to become acquainted with your own soul, she leads by example and leaves you with a longing to find a quiet place and get started on this great adventure.

It seems to me that If you get to know yourself at a soul level, the problem of poor self esteem will be resolved and you can begin to live your life flat out. We'll be talking more about this in the days to come.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who is sincerely interested in personal growth and the exciting exploration of their own soul.

In her latest "surrendering" advice book (see SURRENDERING TO MARRIAGE and SURRENDERING TO MOTHERHOOD), Iris Krasnow makes a strong case that women need a self-identity outside of being a wife, mother, and daughter. Using anecdotal references from herself and those whom she interviews for this nonfiction work, Ms. Krasnow affirms that for a woman to feel fulfillment and internal harmony, they must know who they are, accept who they are, and learn to love who they are. The author is not denigrating other roles of women as mothers nor as wives as that can provide plenty of satisfaction, but Ms. Krasnow feels strongly that is not enough. To be whole, a woman must pursue activity that only satisfies herself with no shared credit for achievement.

This self-help tome is well written (as is its two sister books) and smoothly moves forward with fine examples to support the hypothesis that women require activity that is disassociated with their family relationship "roles". However, the Pollyanna writing fails to deal with those who have few options like single mothers living in abject poverty, but for those stressed out middle class females like this reviewer whose reasons for critiquing fit the book's theme SURRENDERING TO YOURSELF is Nirvana.

Harriet Klausner

This book is not a list of instructions to happiness. Rather, it is a visit with an old friend. Learn that all along you hold the key to your happiness. I savored each page, you will too!