Customer Reviews

Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD: Beyond Piles, Palms, & Post-its

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I was disappointed when I received this book from amazon.com. Judging by the mostly glowing reviews, I had high expectations. However, I found the format to be a big distraction. Basically, the entire book is a composition of 1-paragraph tips from other women (not the author) on a particular subject. It's like reading a whole book of Hints from Heloise, one after the other with no connective matter.

Furthermore, many of the tips were just downright silly or unrealistic. For example, under "Meal Planning" tip #17 reads: "Buy large quantities of a side dish you like and make that the main dish. Instead of one box of mac and cheese, buy four. Add a salad or cut veggies and you're set." Tip #18: "Have an appetizer dinner: buy cocktail hotdogs in a crust (in the freezer department), Tater Tots, and if you're really feeling adventurous, slice some fruit and thread it onto skewers." I mean, really, does the author expect us to feed our families this way? My husband would divorce me (and rightfully so). Tip #19: "Cook large meals and freeze leftovers in one-servng containers." Gee, never heard that one before!

Last but not least, the photo of the book cover led me to believe that I was getting a spiral-bound softcover book with color-coded divider tabs. Not so. Turns out that it's just a regular paperback book with a cover art design that looks like spirals and tabs. The real thing is nothing of the sort, but it would be a big improvement to the overall organization of the book.

I will be returning this one. It's too scattered and choppy to be useful for me. A better reference I found is "Organizing from the Right Side of the Brain" by Lee Silber.

I have this book, and it is amazing! In an extremely user-friendly manner, Ms. Matlen has organized this resource to be helpful to the very population that often has difficulty getting through a book. It is well divided....by area of "challenge." The tips and ideas found within are often unique and refreshingly simple...tried and true answers to difficulties caused by AD/HD. I recommend this to anyone who struggles with the organizational challenges and frustrations of not being a perfect woman/homemaker. I am suggesting this to my clients as a "must-have."

This book is filled with great tips from the ADD experts themselves, women with ADD. Women with ADD submitted some great tips about just about all type of daily living issues. Whether it's ADD Friendly cooking advice or advice on how to pay bills on time it can be found in this book.There are also some great tips from ADD Coaches and other ADD Professionals.

This book has a very ADD Friendly setup. As a person with ADD I think having a book with an ADD Friendly setup is just as important a the content in the book.

Like a few of the reviewers have already mentioned, I thought that the book would be spiral bound with tabs. It's not - it's just a paperback book.

1. The author wrote very little and mostly compiled suggestions from women with ADD.
2. There are too many chapters to keep track of.
3. The suggestions are vaguely grouped, but not particularly well. There are a number of repeat suggestions. I had to take notes outside the book or I'd never be able to find the useful hints.

Like most of the women-oriented ADD books, the "women" oriented material is really "mother" or "home-maker" material. This is particularly complicated by the fact that the quotes aren't organized at all, so I get suggestions about how many hours a day I should spend cleaning the various locations in my house when I only have 8 hours available outside of work. Plenty of women are mothers but plenty of women aren't.

Read "ADD-Friendly ways to Organize your Life" instead. It's *packed* with useful suggestions, and it's in a very ADD-friendly format. After that, you could try this book.

This is the kind of book most of us with ADD enjoy because it doesn't require us to read through but allows us to jump to the sections that apply to the moment. For that, and the fact there are some great ADD-able recipes, I give it 3 stars. But for anyone looking for a system, or a perspective, or a big-picture, to help their lives flow more easily, this book falls short. This book should be purchased from the bargain-clearance shelf after it's been marked down to under $4.00 or on eBay were others who paid full price are trying to unload them! Only then will you be getting your money's worth.

I've picked up a number of books about AD/HD, but most put me to sleep before the second page. This book, by Terry Matlen, is written in the most readable format for me - headings that are well-marked and lots of white space on a page. Reading this in like attending a support group with a thousand members - there are many, many tips from women all over the world, plus tips from AD/HD coaches and organizers. I found many useful ideas for myself, and also came to realize that many people are much worse off than I am in terms of their AD/HD difficulties. At the back of the book, Terry also includes many resources, in print and on the web, and I am finding many of them to be very useful.

I highly recommend this book. At the same time, I also looked at Sari Solden's book, Women With Attention Deficit Disorder, but it was laid out in a format that seemed daunting to me - the way a typical book looks, pages and pages of densely-packed reading. I never got past opening the book, so I can't say it isn't full of good advice, but I just know I'm never going to give it a try.

I bet you think from the subtitle that this book is new and different, not just more of the same.

Well, that would be wrong. It is more of the same, so much more, and so much of it useless.

This is very important: the picture of the cover is deceptive. The book is NOT spiral bound, and there are NO tabs. It is a plain old paperback. Very disappointing, and in this case you really can tell a book by it's cover: the contents are at least as disappointing. You'd have to slog through pages of irrelevance to find something useful.

And the tips border on the hilarious: Use rice in water to clean out a baby bottle. This is helpful? Come on, this tip isn't even remotely relevant to an ADDer, in fact it adds to the confusion: by the time you get the box of Uncle Ben's out, you'll be thinking of fried rice and a great Chinese takeout place you know; you'll order in bean curd Hunan style, wolf it down, and when you're cleaning up, hours later, you'll find the baby bottle in the sink, unwashed, and next to the dish drainer will be your unopened box of rice.

And oh, in case you're wondering what to have for dinner next Halloween, did you know you can hand sculpt mashed potatoes into Halloween ghosts? You think I'm kidding, huh? Oh no, it's right there on page 277. And, they suggest, "You can serve it with bat shaped meatloaf (using a cookie cutter)." But only if you can remember why you're going through your cookie cutters in the middle of making dinner while the trick or treaters are banging on your front door.

I suggest you keep it simple. Step 1, do not buy this book. Read the alternative suggestions in the reviews. Browse carefully, very carefully.

PS Notice that the top favorable review is written by a career and life-planning counselor, not by someone with ADD.

I got this book last week, and were I not ADD, I would have finished it by now! It is truly wonderful in the way it's put together, in the visual accessibility of the ideas, in the rich resources for all women. At 50 I know many women who are truly overwhelmed by life, and I am recommending this to them, even if they don't have ADD. It will be a well-worn volume in my library, for sure!

Oh, frabjous joy! All those little tips and tricks and ideas and recipes, all corralled into one place, brightly colored, so we can find them! Not only that, but it allows those who deal with a friend/family member who has ADD to find ways to work with and help them, and help the relationship, be even more productive. A true joy.

The appendix, normally that verbal black hole of the strange and wonderful, has gems of wisdom well worth mining. It includes  a MONTH of meals already planned out, Deborah Lancaster's great piece called "How to Keep a Kitchen Clean" (HINT: She doesn't let the dog do it!) and Linda Anderson's inspirational and positive collection of affirmations which I'm going to copy and post over my desk immediately!

Invest in the gift of this book!

At first I was really confused about how this book has so many positive reviews, and then I realized: The "most helpful" 5 star reviews are from people who are included in the book. Wilma Fellman contributes on pages 88, 94-95, 244-246, and 321. Tara McGillicuddy contributes on pages 164 and 175. (Aha. Of course.)

I am going to write a short review, describe the contents (since the Amazon page doesn't do that), and then write a longer review.

SHORT REVIEW:
-----------

Almost none of the tips are useful. The book is severely outdated. There are 30 pages of potentially useful suggestions from professionals. I would most recommend this book to MOTHERS who have AD/HD and deal with SENSORY OVERLOAD, as those are subjects with great emphasis. This book will NOT help you to become organized, but it MAY help you feel like you belong to a community of people like yourself.

CONTENTS:
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Here's what this book is:
1. Table of Contents (4 pages)
2. Foreword by Sari Solden (5 pages)
3. Acknowledgements (4 pages)
4. Preface by the author (bibliography style) (7 pages)
5. Chapter 1 "From Me to You: Validating Your Experiences" (6 pages) - Talks about why the tips will help us with our AD/HD, and what we're supposed to expect from the book, and what kinds of women can benefit from it, and we should all be ourselves.
6. Chapter 2 "Carry that Weight: What You Don't Know Can Hurt You" (8 pages) - About some of the symptoms of AD/HD and some of the struggles we face. Discusses challenges with socializing, that we can have trouble in the workplace, we can have problems parenting, and planning meals--we have trouble planning meals because AD/HD gives us problems with making decisions, memory, hypersensitivities, and sequencing. But we know we have problems, so let's get to solutions!
7. Chapter 3 "Specifics for Organizing Your House" (14 pages)

Each Chapter has a Beatles song as part of the title. I am removing them to make this list much shorter.
Each of the "Tips" chapters has:
- a little description of the area and how hard it is or why we need tips for it.
- a list of "Tips." Short chapters have about 10, long chapters have about 30.
- each chapter's tips are organized into sub-categories. (For Chapter 3 they are: Organizing the Kitchen - 10 tips; Closets, Shelves, and All the Stuff Inside! - 3 tips; Kids and Their Clutter - 3 tips; Paper - 12 tips; Organizing in General - 4 tips)
- in each chapter, there are usually a couple tips from the author and the rest are tips submitted by real people in response to e-mail invitations, newsletters, presentations, and word of mouth.
- The tips each have a little heading that say what they are. So, under the "Organizing the Kitchen" category, it lists the tips as little paragraphs. "Tip #2: Keeping kitchen tools tidy--consolidate!" and the heading is italicized, and then the tip is below in regular print. "My measuring spoons and ups used to be all over the place. Now I keep them in one big mixing bowl. The added bonus is that it's the bowl I usually use for baking and the measuring tools are already there when I need them." (p.15-16) Below that it has the person who submitted it and where they're from.
- Periodically, throughout the book there are cartoon illustrations of a frazzled lady. There is about 1 per chapter.

8. Chapter 4 "Meals and Entertaining" (17 pages)
9. Chapter 5 "How to Delegate, Eliminate, and Simplify Household Chores" (13 pages)
10. Chapter 6 "Personal Tips on Clothes Shopping, Health, Hypersensitivities, and Leisure Time" (18 pages)
11. Chapter 7 "School and Studying"(5 pages)
12. Chapter 8 "Thriving on the Job"(9 pages)
13. Chapter 9 "Time and Data Management" (18 pages)
14. Chapter 10 "Relationships and Social Skills" (6 pages)
15. Chapter 11 "Parenting and Family" (15 pages)
16. Chapter 12 "Money: Managing Finances" (7 pages)
17. Chapter 13 "Memory Tips" (11 pages)
18. Chapter 14 "Technology" (8 pages)
19. Chapter 15 "Humor for the Soul" (30 pages) - Long list of "You know you have AD/HD when..." stories and a second list of funny things people told their doctors.
20. Chapter 16 "Tips from Coaches and Professional Organizers" (31 pages)
21. Chapter 17 "Top AD/HD Experts Share Their Stories" (30 pages)
22. Chapter 18 "SOS Recipes" (31 pages)
23. Chapter 19 "Books, Tapes, Web Sites, Newsletters, and More" (33 pages)
24. References page
25. APPENDIX: "Month-of-Meals (MOM) System," "How to Keep a Kitchen Clean," "Prioritizing Chart," "Affirmation List," and space to record your own tips.

LONG REVIEW:
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This book is quite outdated! There are several lists of creative ways to use a palm pilot. Also, there are tips about cordless phones and answering machines, and a whole section of tips about "reminders for directions." [Ladies, we need smartphones. Smartphones are the new PDAs. Look for free applications that help you with things you're having trouble with. I am terrible with directions and I use Google Navigation all the time.]

The book focuses in a major way on sensory overload. If you're interested in that, this book may be especially enjoyable.

Many suggestions are not real solutions--one lady suggested using a pen to write on your hand when you need to remember things. (Out of the question.) There are also suggestions like "take a break" (suggested several times). Okay, but after the break I still need to focus and I still have to do whatever I'm struggling with. Hiring help is suggested multiple times, in separate tips. We are encouraged to hire: tutors, maids, babysitters (when we're home), accountants, a birthday service, and to use a reminder service for other things. Over and over the book says to know ourselves and just be fine with the deficits. There are also "Tips" that are not tips at all, like a list of people's sensory complaints, and a couple lists of general kitchen information.

The useful tips are ones you've already heard of: use lists, prioritize, use color-based solutions. Each is suggested multiple times.

I had several other problems with the book:
1. There are many, many spelling mistakes. (Probably partially because the tips were submissions.)
2. The illustrations made me feel like no mater what I try or do I will be weird and unable to gain any measure of control over my life.
3. The "You know you have AD/HD when..." was really not funny to me. It's a list of people doing just really stupid things. Three separate people forgot to wear shoes places. People have different senses of humor, so maybe some people enjoy this stuff, but to characterize people with AD/HD as idiots just isn't helpful.
4. I think the idea was that people offered "solutions" involving a product and to be convenient, the author offered them for sale. Instead, all through the book there were "tips" that directed us to her online store to buy gimmicky stuff. In the back there is a whole product list of hanging bill organizers and purse-organizers, and a pen that's a light so you can write at night, etc.
5. The recipes section seems totally pointless. Is the idea that the recipes are supposed to be easy? Many of the recipes take 45 minutes or more, so...? If you're really struggling with this, why not buy a cookbook of things that are easy to make?

There were some things I liked about this book:
1. I felt a real sense of community reading it. For instance, there was a "tip" (comment) about someone who feels confined in coats. I feel that way too!
2. I thought the book was organized well. I liked the summaries above the tips. (The index is a disaster, though, as the table of contents is not integrated into the index. So if you look up "kitchen" in the index, there's just nothing there.)
3. There are some useful suggestions from the "coaches." I liked the daily review checklist (200), affirmations (328-329), the info about breaking tasks down (202-203),l and the wall-size calendar idea (219).
4. I plan to check out some of the recommended websites; those lists seem like they could be helpful.

In conclusion, this book is probably not what you're thinking it is. Some of the information about parenting seems like it may be more useful, so you may like this book better if you are a mother. The most useful section is Chapter 16 (the tips from professionals). I thought Chapter 17 (experts share their stories) was also worthwhile. As long as you buy this book not expecting something about organization, it does kind of help you feel like part of a community as you're reading it. We are not alone!