Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: How to Survive a Horror Movie
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on November 16, 2011
Being a huge fan of horror movies, I just had to read this book! It was a fun, entertaining read, amusing and clever, and at times sarcastic (which I can totally appreciate), but it never made me burst out in maniacal, hysterical laughter, as some reviewers have claimed. A fun read yes, and you'll have a chuckle or two but nothing ground-breaking here, really. I did recommend it to my horror-film loving friends, who also appreciated it and found it fun as well. A worthy read, all in all.
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on September 6, 2012
Have to say I completely enjoyed this book. Between the horror movie references and the writer's humor, I was captivated from page one. As an avid watcher of horror movies noticing the common themes as well as Grahame-Smith's humor I was smitten with this book. Fully recommend for any horror movie fan (who also has a sense of humor).
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on June 21, 2012
I've wanted this book for quite some time, and I managed to get a free copy. I read it all in one day because it was such a fun read. Being a big horror movie fan, this book was perfect. It basically tells you what to do if you find yourself in a horror movie, dividing itself by genre and killers. It's almost like Scream in a book. I definitely recommend it for any horror movie fan.
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on September 19, 2008
Excellent parody of those military, natural disaster, camping survival guide books that by the end of it has you ready to survive when it suddenly dawns on you - hey this situation looks like I'm in a horror movie! Oh no what do I do? If you're not sure you are in fact actually in this situation a handy chapter at the front will allow you to be sure.

Various chapters that follow are Slasher Survival School, where you'll learn about the five types of slashers and how to defeat them. What to do if you did something last summer, how to survive a night babysitting and much more. Inanimate Evil - The Manmade Instruments of Death teaches readers how to survive a haunted house, an evil vehicle, killer doll and importantly how to tell if an object is indeed evil. Crypt-Ography-Ghosts, Zombies and the Reanimated basically teaches you how to survive against various undead foe. Plus this chapter makes a good point against those killing zombies not really being "big man" type heroes, pointing out how slow these things move, their minimum brain capacity meaning you could just run away instead of stupidly barricading an isolated house and so forth.

Fangs of Fury - Aliens and Beasts tackles space set movies, aliens, as well as animals back here on earth. Chapter 666 The Satanic Versus-Curses Demons and The Devil Himself teaches those rural readers amongst us what to do if your cornfield is infested with children. For everyone how to perform an exorcism, what to do if you've only got 7 days to live and the biggest task of them all, how to defeat Satan, where girls, you'll learn the male population, well if you come across Satan you'll be wishing you were a man.

If humorous human peril survival guides against what we hope we will only ever come across in the movies, is your type of thing, also get Max Brook's The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead as well as Daniel H Wilson's How To Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion.

The Superman Handbook: The Ultimate Guide to Saving the Day and The Action Hero's Handbook: are also good tongue in cheek entertainment themed survival guides. Whilst not survival guides How to Rule the World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator and Hardly Working: The Overachieving Underperformer's Guide to Doing as Little as Possible in the Office are also good and written in the same sort of tongue in cheek style.
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on March 21, 2009
This book is brilliant if you are a fan of horror movies or parody's (as I am of both). It is an ingenious and hillarious guide to surviving whichever horror movie you have found yourself in (which you will be able to determine from chapter 1). I can't recomend this book highly enough - PLEASE BUY IT!!

I myself was recently trapped in a horror movie, and if you are too, this book is a must have if you want to survive, letting you know all the tricks and traps to avoid the killer/monster/possesed thing.
Chapter One includes:
How Do I Know If I'm In A Horror Movie?
How Do I Know What Type Of Horror Movie I'm In?
C.R.A.V.E.N
The Seven Deadly Horror Movie Sins
How To Survive A Horror Movie High School

Once you know which horror movie you have become trapped in, each of the following chapters offers help for a particular type of horror movie.

FROM THE BACK OF THE BOOK:
. Are you reading this book at a summer camp?
. Are you reading this book in a cornfield?
. Are you reading this book at an abandoned mental institution?
. Does music crescendo every time you open a door?
. Are there any Japanese children in your bathroom?
. Do all of your "friends" look suspiciously like the cast members from "Smallville" and "The Gilmore Girls"?
. Have you, wthin the last twenty-four hours, accidently killed a hobo or a socially challenged classmate and then hid the corpse so that no one will ever find out?
If you answered "yes" to three or more of these questions, you are most deffinatly trapped in a horror movie - and you need to read this book.

27 reviews of this so far and NOBODY has given it less than 4 stars.

A brilliant book which I would recommend to anyone.
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VINE VOICEon June 24, 2008
This is the book every single person should own. It will save your life and make you re-evaluate exactly what you've been doing with it. Every so often, a book comes around with the reformative power to change the way you look at the world. This is that book. This is the one and only book you need to live your life.

How to Survive a Horror Movie breaks apart how the world works. Babysitting? Have to make sure you live the night, right? What with all those psycho-killers out there, the voices on the phone and the intense feeling you're being watched, babysitting is more about staying in one piece than it is actually watching kids.

What about possessed dolls? You can't tell me you've never had a doll that turned its head, laughed and started crawling towards you. I wouldn't believe you if you said you didn't. How do you protect yourself? How do you survive?

What about that feeling that maybe you're actually dead...and have been for quite some time. This existential question is singularly important. How do you finally come to that realization? This was the hardest lesson for me. Discovering and coming to terms with that will be a complete eye-opener for many people.

I promise you this book will not only provide you insight to your life, but it will also complement your Zombie Survival Guide; taken together, these two novels will help you survive life as we know it.

And honestly, what's more important than that?
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on March 31, 2009
Perhaps capitalizing on the zombie survival trend, this book attempts to cover ALL manner of horror films and tells the reader how to tell if you're in one and what to do next.

I found it humorous enough, but it felt like the author was rather stretched for material. He seemed to bounce back and forth between two vantage points - one being that there actually is a Horrorverse and you are in it, the other being that you are just on a movie set. The advice for what to do in the actual Horrorverse was funny and engaging, but it seemed that whenever he ran out of ideas the author started to write as though you are only on a movie set, and tailored his survival advice towards using this fact to your advantage. This seemed like a sloppy copout to me, and damaged the cohesiveness of the book. If you're just on a set, then you're not really in any mortal danger to begin with, so that whole shtick seemed to shoot the book in its own foot.
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VINE VOICEon October 14, 2008
HOW TO SURVIVE A HORROR MOVIE: ALL THE SKILLS TO DODGE THE KILLS is, on the surface, a satirical look at horror movies and slasher films. But author Seth Grahame-Smith is not merely dismissing horror films as hackneyed dreck; rather, he is having a ripping good time by poking fun at the well-known cliches of a genre he obviously loves, and he's inviting other genre fans to come along for the joyride. Parodying those nuclear-holocaust, natural-disaster, and Y2K survival manuals that were ubiquitous in the 20th century, the book's format is simple: the reader is asked to put himself or herself in the position of a horror-movie victim, then the author offers "experienced" instruction on how to avoid the various perils the reader is likely to face in common horror-film scenarios. Admittedly, those who are not horror fans probably won't get all the jokes and gags, but this pseudo survival guide is a hilarious and nostalgic romp through the conventions of cinematic horror that is certain to delight and entertain hardcore fans of the genre.
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on February 27, 2010
How to Survive a Horror Movie is several chapters giving advice on how to not get killed in the movie you've suddenly become trapped in. It does this with chapters devoted to realizing you're in a horror movie, determining what kind of horror movie you're in and what you do for each specific survival scenario that is thrown at you in the specific movie (what to do if your plane has snakes, how to survive a slasher movie, what to do if your children has corn, etc.). Each chapter is meant to make you laugh (as if you didn't know that already), and each chapter is filled with tables, charts and lists of possible outcomes to more specified scenarios, like how to determine if your child is possessed, all the way making very obvious references to several iconic horror movies, as well as some notoriously terrible horror movies. At the end of the book, he lists several horror movies that are definitive in the genre, followed by some atrocious examples of the genre, or just terrible sequels. A perfect present for a horror movie fan.
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VINE VOICEon December 5, 2009
Caution, thus book may make you laugh out loud... Or wince slightly. Maybe both?

On the whole I found this book to be quite entertaining and rather funny in many parts. Basically it's a run-down of all the horror movie clichés and how to avoid them. Moreover, it gives you practical tips on how to survive if you find yourself embroiled in a typical horror movie...

The book comes with a foreword by Wes Craven, a healthy dose of humor, is well-illustrated and generally pretty slick. Some sections are definitely funnier than others, so it's a little uneven in that regard. But, I figure you need to have a few less-funny moments in order to truly appreciate the gut-busting riffs when you run across them.

If you like horror, and a little comedy, I'd definitely recommend giving this book a try. Good coffee-table or bathroom reading, if nothing else.

Not to be confused with the similarly titled Horror Movie Survival Guide.
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