Customer Reviews

Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I recently was informed by my spouse that she had a past 1 year affair. I remember being very numb and angry. It was recommended that I read Surviving Infidelity. What a true blessing this book provides. At a time when I felt my world was coming to an end this easy to read paperback has given me the strength to move forward and understand why people in general have affairs but more importantly than that the book affirmed the emotional feelings I am experiencing right now are NORMAL and thou I share some responsibitlity for our relationship I am not at fault for my wife deciding to have the affair. I have decided as a result of this reading that my relationship with my wife is worth saving and this book has given me valuable tools to move in that direction. Thank-you Rona and Gloria for giving me more insight and understanding.

I have been going through the pain of infedility for several months before discovering this book. It is very easy to read. It gave me a lot of insight into why my husband had an affair and how he thinks and insight into my own feelings. After I read the book I asked my husband to read it. He even stated that the writers were right on the money and confirmed some of his ideas on how I was feeling and what I am going through. Now we both are talking more and moving to resolve things and make our marriage better. I would recommend this book to anyone going through this terrible ordeal. I just wish I had found this sooner so we could start healing sooner.

This is a great book. It offers solutions to problems such as deciding whether to remain married, how to treat your spouse, how to control your anger/sadness/self-esteem, etc. It never at any point blames either person (betrayed or betrayer). It is good for the betrayer to read because it offers him/her a look into how the betrayed spouse is feeling, and what that person is going through (and must go through) to heal, while never issuing judgement on the betrayer. This is a great book no matter what course you are considering after discovering an affair. It can help you and your partner heal (together!), strenthening your relationship; it can help you increase your self-esteem so that you can make your own decisions about sticking around or leaving. Its best quality is that it is POSITIVE. Everything the book says, whether about the betrayed or the betrayer, focuses on the positive and realistic qualities of the mess and how to clean it up.

This book will help you over the rough spots of Infidelity. The authors let you know you are not alone and we all go through the same stages of Infidelity.

Not all affairs are the same, but they are just as hurtful, nor do they all call for the same response, which does not make cheating right in any way. Surviving Infidelity will help you to understand what goes on in a cheaters mind. Here you will find answers to the many questions you have. I believe the hardest part to get over is the betrayal. Every one handles infidelity differently. Remember: we must never take it on ourselves, the cheater is wrong.

Here is a list of subjects the authors explain to us: Why affairs happen Discovery and its impact Coping and healing Dealing with the martial crisis Repairing the relationship, if that is what you want The post affair marriage Increasing your self-esteem What it takes to be a survivor

I noticed this book in a bookstore as I was searching for a book to improve on myself. Something told me to buy it because at the time it fit my life, boy was I glad I did. I realized that I did not need the fixing because I was the injured party. It is really strange but those of us cheated on seem to take the blame for something that is out of our control. Remember where the blame lies -- we are the hurt and damaged ones. Read the book it will really help you pick up the pieces of your life. It did me.

This one earned High Marks from this reviewer.

I researched the customer reviews first when looking for a book to help me deal with the issues of infidelity I am having. This book opened my eyes, and made me feel "normal" and hopeful. I was able to see the type of affair my husband had, and why. I was able to see that it wasn't because of something I did, or didn't do. I was able to see that my anger, obsession, lack of esteem was normal. It gave me the perspective that I lacked. I recommend this for anyone faced with the decision to stay or leave due to infidelity.

This was one of the few books I found that discussed both of the alternatives that may be available to the hurt partner -- staying and working on the marriage, or leaving and starting life again. Most books are oriented solely toward how to fix your marriage, and give no emphasis on the equally valid decision to leave. After reading it I felt better about my options. I also appreciated knowing that others had gone through the same things I was experiencing and had shared all of the mixed emotions and surprising feelings I had. It gave me hope that I would be happy again someday, and it offered some of the tools I needed to get started on that journey. I haven't yet decided what to do, but I feel better already.

Well I just found out my wife of 2 yrs has been cheating on me, with a guy she met during our engagement. This taught me alot, and helped me face my insecurities I had afterwards. So we're still married, and much more in touch with each other right now.

Another book I bought, and I can't say if this was a good idea or not, was "Cyber Spying". I was able to track down and read most of her e-mail thanks to the tips in that dodgy book. Good for info, bad for my ego, I'm not sure if I would do it again.

Hoping you all never need these books, but they are good if you do.

Like many surviving infidelity, I spent hundreds of dollars on books during the first month, trying desperately to make sense of the chaos in my heart and my mind. This book was perfect. It was intelligent, packed full of HELPFUL information, and provided a very structured approach for making sense of a world that no longer made any sense to me at all. Some books were very biased, others just said the same thing over and over again - it hurts and it will get better. I needed to know specifically what to do every day, and I needed a way to frame the experience in a way that was logical.

This book did something that no other book did for me. In clearing away some of the chaos, I was able to relax a little. I was able to stop crying and start thinking in a constructive way. I was able to step back and understand my universe and where I was in it. I was able to see that while I was furious and deeply destroyed by my spouse's actions, I could begin to see him versus the acts that kept replaying like a horror film in my mind.

It is difficult to make a decision about how to move forward; whether to stay or leave, when you don't know which way is up. This book helps you reconstruct your world and provides a path to clarity. I am not there yet, but I can see it just ahead.

Suriviving Infidelity describes in painful terms the types and bases for infidelity by ones spouse, and then explains the victim's reactions and prescribes steps that will help speed the recovery process, hopefully to accompany the healing of the marital relationship. Very helpful for a victim.

This may sound like a strange novel, but I bought this book the night I realized that my husband was having an affair. I could not put it down. It was so on-the-mark. Reading this helped me tremendously in a time in which all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and cry. It pushed me beyond the feelings of hurt and rejection to making decisions and start recovering.

Because of this book, over a long (not-so-business) business trip that my husband went on I was both angry and ready to do something about it. I bought protecting your financial security when getting a divorce, and cyber spying: finding out about your family's secret lives. Cyber spying helped me to gather evidence and proof of his affairs and to get a good state of the finances. I saved everything and took it to my lawyer. When confronted with the proof my husband had nothing to stand on. Without reading surviving infidelity I never would have gathered this kind of courage. Instead my husband would still be getting away with it, but instead not he is paying for what he did!