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Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do [Paperback]

by Thom Hunter
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 15, 2010 1449707319 978-1449707316
A man with his wife at the table on the other side of the restaurant is polite but distracted. A woman at work stares out her office window with a blank expression, her mind far away. A father wraps his arm around his daughter in the church pew; his eyes are on the pulpit, but his mind wanders. What about the college student on the soccer field or in the library? The doctor prepping for surgery? The realtor showing the house next door? The mailman on your front porch. Your Sunday school teacher . . . perhaps even your preacher. These people may be dominated by some form of sexual brokenness, from pornography to adultery to unwanted homosexual temptation. They share a secret they hope and pray will never be revealed. The urge to "act out" in their brokenness is destroying them because it conflicts with a life they have already chosen. They don't know how to live with it; they don't know how to be rid of it. They may not know what caused it; they only want to "cure" it. "Am I just a misplaced homosexual?" "Did God make me this way?" "Why won't He change me?" Surrounding them are the ones who sense something is amiss but have no clue what to do or where to find help. They may be confused by the teachings of the church: love the sinner; hate the sin. This seemingly Biblical response can actually send the message to the struggler that he is, in fact, unlovable because his identity seems inseparable from his sin. Surviving Sexual Brokenness examines the roots and the roadblocks and provides understanding, encouragement, hope and help through Biblical truth and Christian compassion for the freedom-seeker and those who travel alongside.

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Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do + Who Told You You Were Naked?: The Counterfeit Compassion of Culture + Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: WestBow Press A Division of Thomas Nelson (November 15, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1449707319
  • ISBN-13: 978-1449707316
  • Product Dimensions: 0.4 x 5.9 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,602,731 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Thom Hunter is the director of BridgeBack Ministries, based in Norman, Oklahoma. He shares the truth with compassion and encouragement for individuals and families who struggle with sexual and relational brokenness, particularly within the church and in Christian families. Thom and Lisa have been married for more than 35 years. He is available to speak to your church or group. Contact him at

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars God Heals ALL Sexual Brokenness Through His Grace. February 9, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
In the introduction to Thom Hunter's book, _Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do_, there is a paragraph which I underlined and referred to almost every time I returned to the book: "It took me a long time to admit I was 'sexually broken.' I knew from an early age that engaging in sexual activity with a person of the same sex was wrong. I knew it instinctively, but I also knew it spiritually. God's Word was clear on the issue. Still, it seemed impossible to resist and yielding to it cost me greatly. Only by accepting the fact that I was `broken,' could I accept my need for repair, through a desire for holiness.'"

As the leader of a recovery group for sexually broken Christian men (, this paragraph could easily exemplify the problem and also the solution to the pain and suffering of hundreds of people I encounter; their misery is genuine, for they are truly sexually broken; but as for the solution, they are as individuals in a very dark room, holding an extension cord of wholeness, but unable to find the electrical outlet because of the terrifying darkness. And that outlet is the grace of God

Sexual brokenness is sexual brokenness, regardless of the form in which it manifests itself - pornography, adultery, homosexuality, pedophilia, bestiality, incest, etc. Thom Hunter's book alludes to possible causes for this brokenness, but he is not rash enough to proclaim that he has found the solution. As a father of five who fought, fell and rose again to fight against unwanted same-sex attraction, he has suffered fractured relationships with some of his children. He has been vilified and cast out of his own church by those who apparently choose to hide their own brokenness.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A 'how to' manual for any type of struggle June 9, 2011
By Rose V
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a book that has surprised me in the way it has stayed with me and brought me back again and again to it's pages for just one more glimpse into the helpful insights it offers. If I could change anything about this book it would only be it's name. For I believe this book not only offers hope and inspiration to those who struggle with sexual brokenness but to any who struggle with life in general, no matter the area of weakness and confusion. Chapter Ten, RECLAIMING TATTERED INTEGRITY, includes practical down to earth steps that clearly guide the reader in the direction to restoration and offers hope to those who feel they have no more chances left. I have found myself sharing the valuable truths in this book in many conversations of late. As a volunteer chaplain in local prisons I often witness the devastation and grief which come from past experiences of sexual abuse. The subsequent bad choices which evolve from abuse leave the victim dangling on a tightrope of addictions and strongholds with a chasmal void of loneliness and despair underneath. This book takes an honest hard look at brokenness and the rationalizations, delusions and despair that surround it. If you, or someone you know, needs a practical how to book for finding wholeness this book is where to begin. It not only shines the light on those who have fallen but on those who are suppose to be there to help them back up. Many thought provoking and convicting statements are made in this book that have made me take a long hard look at the true meaning of compassion and the harm that we can unintentionally inflict when our intentions are to help. This book is for strugglers, for those who love them and for those who need to learn how to love them.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Recovering From Brokeness December 4, 2010
Mr. Thom Hunter in his book SURVIVING SEXUAL BROKENESS ventures where very few go in the Christian world: transparency, sexual brokeness and restoration. There is no "Halleluyah Mask" here! It is a powerful and gutsy book that raises visceral emotions that most would rather keep in darkness but emotions that nonetheless need to be exposed for healing and restoration.

In his masterful way of wordcrafting, Mr. Hunter artfully, beautifully and painfully takes us on his journey of sexual brokenness and how the L_RD has used this pain to minister to others. Some of the issues brought up are disappointment from people that one should feel comfortable with, unmet expectations, violated trust, and trying to live up to the expectations of others behind a facade of suppurating and bleeding wounds and the book does so WITHOUT delving into quasi-pornografic details.

It is a cautionary tale for those who secretly flirt with sin while deceiving themselves by believing that it won't happen to them or that they won't be caught---the deception of denial; it is also a powerful testimony of redemption and restoration. I have used the lessons that I have learned from his fall and restoration to counsel others in areas that the Body of Messiah would rather keep silent about and/or ignore. Silence=death in one form or another! It not only raises issues but offers hope and solutions for men and women who have been bruised from addictions and hidden wounds, whatever they may be.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars my opinion February 3, 2012
By ronald
I really did not know what to expect from this book when I started reading it. But it certainly me understand a lot more. I loved the way everything was done, the personal experiences, which just make it seem more real. And I love it when I can read material like this the author puts more of himself it. If you are struggling with sexual brokeness this is a book for you. But at the same time biblical truth is presented.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Hope for the sexually broken
I enjoyed this book because it is a true story of a man who was struggled with unwanted same sex attraction. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Lori
4.0 out of 5 stars Overcoming Private Matters through God's Grace
From the blog [...]

This is not a book for the meek. Then again, allowing God to work through you and in you, in order to receive healing, isn't either. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Stacey Louiso
5.0 out of 5 stars Will Help You Overcome the Most Painful Sin of All
One of the saddest things they teach in the church today is that sin is wrong doing. Yes, it sometimes is. Rape, murder, theft are all examples of things we shouldn't do. Read more
Published on February 22, 2012 by Jinger Jarrett
5.0 out of 5 stars Both Insightful and Informative: For those who have experienced and...
An extremely eloquent and thought-provoking book. Thom opens up his life and struggles in a way that I have seldom experienced, even as a counselor to hurting people, taking the... Read more
Published on February 15, 2012 by Diane Black
4.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful but a little scattered
Thom is a fellow contributor to SBC Voices. Awhile back Thom gave me his book in exchange for a review. Read more
Published on February 15, 2012 by Michael Leake
5.0 out of 5 stars A beautiful non-judgmental book
Written with great humility, compassion and the wisdom of life's experiences, both good and bad, "Surviving Sexual Brokenness - What Grace Can Do" points anyone struggling with... Read more
Published on April 12, 2011 by Geri Ann
5.0 out of 5 stars A Transparent Look at the Struggle with Sexuality
I don't know Thom personally, only through blogging online and reading what he has written. In this book, Thom shares from his personal experience, without delving into lurid... Read more
Published on March 31, 2011 by Jeff M
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Topic From this Discussion
Homosexuality and the Church: Don't Ask, Don't Tell?
A difficult question to answer in depth. But, as the Irishman said when asked for directions, "Well, I wouldn't start from here." So the correct starting point is to abandon the idea that homosexuality is a form of "sexual brokenness". It isn't, any more than heterosexuality is.
Apr 27, 2011 by William Fisher |  See all 4 posts
Is the Church Surrendering on the Issue of Homosexuality?
Well, the secular world is certainly surrendering on the issue of homosexuality, and fast. Perhaps the Church will also do so in due course, but when it comes to enlightenment, the secular world not infrequently gets there first.
Nov 22, 2011 by William Fisher |  See all 4 posts
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