Qty:1
  • List Price: $39.95
  • Save: $1.55 (4%)
Only 5 left in stock (more on the way).
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Surviving and Thriving in... has been added to your Cart
+ $3.99 shipping
Used: Like New | Details
Condition: Used: Like New
Comment: Unread copy in perfect condition.
Access codes and supplements are not guaranteed with used items.
Sell yours for a Gift Card
We'll buy it for $15.40
Learn More
Trade in now
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't Paperback – May 30, 2013

38 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-0415894388 ISBN-10: 0415894387 Edition: 1st

Buy New
Price: $38.40
20 New from $32.18 8 Used from $33.40
Rent from Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
$14.38
Paperback
"Please retry"
$38.40
$32.18 $33.40
Free%20Two-Day%20Shipping%20for%20College%20Students%20with%20Amazon%20Student


Hero Quick Promo
Save up to 90% on Textbooks
Rent textbooks, buy textbooks, or get up to 80% back when you sell us your books. Shop Now
$38.40 FREE Shipping. Only 5 left in stock (more on the way). Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Frequently Bought Together

Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't + Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family
Price for both: $50.19

Buy the selected items together

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships is the best clinical book ever written on the topic. Period. It is unique in recognizing the variety of forms of modern stepfamilies and their different treatment needs. And no one writes as eloquently and knowledgeably as Papernow about both the problematic patterns of stepfamilies and the rich variety of helpful interventions available to therapists. This compelling book should be part of the curriculum of every graduate training program and should be read by any therapist who works with couples and families."

―Alan S. Gurman, PhD, visiting professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and clinical professor of psychology at the Family Institute at Northwestern University

"This is a long awaited and extremely important book that is destined to be a classic. Written by a pioneer in the field who is in her fourth decade of studying and treating stepfamilies, it is a remarkable achievement filled with wisdom both for those who help stepfamilies and for those who live in them. It both authoritative, including all the relevant research, and engaging, sprinkled with clear and well-written examples and practical advice. It is also comprehensive, covering stepfamilies of different ethnicities, sexual orientations, stages of development, and suggesting interventions at a variety of levels. I recommend it to all my students and stepfamily clients."

―Richard Schwartz, PhD, developer of the Internal Family Systems model

"With Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships Patricia Papernow has written a book that does justice to the complex issues involved here while at the same time being readable, accessible, down-to-earth, and most important, practical and chock full of what to do and how to do it in the face of problems and crises. This book is a great resource for both families and the clinical practitioners seeking to help them effectively. I highly recommend it to both groups."

―Diana Fosha, PhD, developer of AEDP (Accelerated Experiential-Dynamic Psychotherapy) and author of The Transforming Power of Affect

“The book, and the outline of the stepfamily cycle, gives readers an organized way to identify challenges and find ways around them. Some chapters also offer tips on interpersonal skills and ways to openly communicate. …[H]ers is an easy-to-read book that can help clinicians as well as family members begin to understand the complex nature of stepfamilies. And, hopefully, help them begin to work together.”

― Tamara Hill, MS, Psychcentral.com

About the Author

Patricia L. Papernow, EdD, is a nationally recognized expert on stepfamilies, couples in "blended family" systems, and parenting after divorce. She also provides training and consultation throughout the US. Since 1981, she has been in private practice focusing on clinical supervision, and individual and couple therapy with adults.

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE
Best Books of the Month
Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 248 pages
  • Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (May 30, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0415894387
  • ISBN-13: 978-0415894388
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #145,930 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I am in my fourth decade of working with, learning about, and teaching others about stepfamily relationships.

I am passionate about helping others to understand and successfully navigate the often intense challenges of this family form. I love to teach. I give workshops throughout the world and will talk to anybody who wants to learn more about what works and what doesn't to create thriving stepfamily relationships.

I began this journey three and a half decades ago. I was married to a man with two children, I needed a dissertation topic. I wrote about normal stages of development in stepfamilies, which later became my first book, Becoming a Stepfamily: Patterns of Development in Remarried Families.

Two decades later, we know so much about what works and what doesn't. So little of this information has been made available to the public, or even to clinicians, clergy, guidance counselors, pediatricians and others who want to help. My goal in this book was to provide a readable, accessible guide based on my both own decades of clinical research, and on the rich trove of research that had accumulated since my first book.

I am now closing in on 20 years in my second marriage. I have a 31-year old daughter from my first marriage, and 3 stepchildren in this marriage who now all have both partners and their own children (two each for a total of six grandkids, and another on the way!) I am a psychologist in private practice in Hudson, MA, and an Instructor in Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. I now work primarily in the Internal Family Systems model.

Customer Reviews

5 star
100%
4 star
0%
3 star
0%
2 star
0%
1 star
0%
See all 38 customer reviews
Share your thoughts with other customers

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By M. Baum on June 30, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you work with Stepfamilies or are forming one yourself, get this book. With full knowledge of current research and her own extensive clinical experience, Dr. Papernow explains why the conventional wisdom of "blending" and emphasizing the whole family is counterproductive, and how the seemingly non-intuitive practice of one-on-one time between all members is most helpful. She makes clear the central challenge inherent in Stepfamily structure: parents, stepparents, and children have very intense and different experiences, that of Stuck Insiders and Stuck Outsiders. And, she provides clear and immensely practical steps through the difficult terrain: 1. Psychoeducation 2. Interpersonal Skill Development 3. Intrapsychic Dynamic Work.
The book is clear, compact, and informed throughout by Dr. Papernow's great intelligence, humor and warmth. What was obscure becomes obvious. Useful compassion for all members, including the "difficult" ones, becomes immediately accessible.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Barry Saxe on April 18, 2014
Format: Paperback
I started dating a widowed man with two teenage children about six months ago. His daughter had issues with her dad dating from the beginning of our relationship. Having survived a very difficult step-family situation myself, I was compassionate about her feelings, but I had no idea how to deal with the situation. Luckily I found Dr Papernow's book just as I was on the verge of making some big errors such as trying to push us all into spending time together as a way of establishing intimacy.

Dr Papernow's book has been invaluable in providing a road map through this difficult situation. It has helped me to understand why my boyfriend's daughter is having such a hard time with us dating while his son is fine with it, and to have sustained compassion for her when she gets upset about me being in her dad's life and begins to act out. It has also helped me to be patient with myself and the feelings that come up for me as the stuck outsider in the situation. And I have learned from the book that less is more and forcing all of us into an intimate family situation is not the way to establish a relationship with his kids.

Beyond just dealing with stepfamily issues, Dr Papernow also provides a section on interpersonal skills that I found tremendously helpful. Even as someone who is studying psychology, I didn't know some of the basic techniques that she describes, and she presents them in such a clear manner that they are easy to understand and apply. I have used these skills in a number of situations since learning them, always with great success.
Read more ›
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Sun Maker on September 17, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I bought this book and devoured it in three days. I am not a therapist, but I have two children with an ex-spouse who is remarried, I'm the daughter of a mother who is remarrying at the age of 76, and I was engaged briefly to a man with a child from a previous marriage. This book is excellent. It has provided me with practical and sensible suggestions for navigating the dynamics inherent to each of these scenarios. It has opened my eyes immensely and helped me to have greater awareness, understanding, and empathy for all of the parties involved in stepfamily relationships. I cannot recommend this book highly enough for anyone who is struggling in any family role touched by an intimate relationship involving "pre-existing" children.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Paul Averill Liebow MD FACEP on March 28, 2014
Format: Paperback
AN EXTREMELY INTERESTING COMBINATION OF AUTHORITATIVE LITERATURE-BASED SUBSPECIALTY TEXTBOOK, AND COMMONSENSE MANUAL FOR PROFESSIONALS AS DIVERSE AS TEACHERS, SPIRITUAL COUNSELORS, AND EVEN LAWYERS. ITS RIVETING CASE HISTORIES AND GALLOPING STYLE ARE ENTRANCING TO ANYONE DEALING WITH STEPFAMILIES, WHICH TODAY IS EVERYONE.
AS A RETIRED PHYSICIAN, I AM FREQUENTLY ASKED FOR DIRECTION ON VARIOUS PROBLEMS, AND HAVE STARTED TO RECOMMEND THIS BOOK- EVEN CONTEMPLATED GIVING IT TO SEVERAL HARD-WORKING AMERICANS WHO COULD NEVER AFFORD EXPENSIVE FAMILY COUNSELING
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By JB on March 19, 2015
Format: Paperback
As a father of 3 and step-father of 2, I can't recommend this book highly enough. Over and over again, I found myself saying "yep, that exactly describes what is going on here." These realizations are immediately followed with examples of helpful (and not helpful) approaches to addressing various issue.

For example, Papernow notes that - regardless of the personalities of the parents - the very structure of a step family tends to push a step-parent to a more Authoritarian parenting style and a biological parent to more permissive style. Just knowing that natural tendency exists in step-families is incredibly helpful when trying to work through issues and situations. She's spot on when she says that in first marriages, most fights tend to be about money, while in stepfamilies most tend to be about the kids.

You can tell she also wrote textbooks on this (researched backed) and this book is intentionally very approachable with lots of examples. Really one of the best for parents, step-parents, and other involved (clergy, social workers, etc).

Lastly, I appreciate how many well intentioned, but misguided information (some blogs, other books) are out there. Much like the book "Mix, Don't Blend," Papernow says one of the best investments you can make is focusing and having separate time with your biological children (vs. always "forced fun" whole-stepfamily vacations), esp. in the early few years.

I'm sure I'll be returning to this book at least a few times a month, every time I have a "wait, what just happened there" moment.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Set up an Amazon Giveaway

Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more
Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't
This item: Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't
Price: $38.40
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com