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Surviving Your Worst Nightmare: A Guide For the Betrayed Paperback – July 11, 2011

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Editorial Reviews

From the Author

In a matter of seconds, as the words of betrayal flowed from my husband's lips my life - the life I had known before no longer existed; it was shattered into a million fragments - altered forever. I remember all too well the intense feelings of fear, anger, confusion and despair. I know how lost the faithful one feels, and how emotionally exhausting each day becomes as they struggle to survive the onslaught of emotions that continually pummel and shock their body - their mind.
Surviving Your Worst Nightmare was written to be a guidebook to the aftershocks of infidelity. With candid vulnerability I share my journal entries, which are interspersed with vignettes of my life to help the reader know that they are not alone in their thinking, and with their feelings. The second my husband confessed his unfaithfulness I had so many questions - so many fears. My insecurities were magnified; I questioned my body image and my mental stability. The reader will relate with me as I question the past and I ponder what might have been. I encourage the reader to be angry, and to also embrace the wide range of emotions as they move forward towards a healthy recovery. 
My hope for you, the faithful one, is to bring stability, clarity and hope to your wounded heart as you navigate the painful journey of life after betrayal. Whether you decide to stay in the marriage, or feel it best to move on, Surviving Your Worst Nightmare: A Guide for the Betrayed can help you process your feelings and help you to know that you are not alone on your journey. 
- Patti Snodgrass

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 324 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (July 11, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1456334077
  • ISBN-13: 978-1456334079
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,055,908 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

When I began the journey of broken wedding vows and forsaken love, I entered into the most strenuous battle of my life as I learned how to survive the nightmare assault on my heart. The personal discoveries I made as I wandered lost and frightened in the wilderness of betrayal were crucial for my survival. During my wanderings I often wondered if this journey through betrayal would be in vain. I wondered if I could be a voice that calls back to the brokenhearted, those who are now lost and confused by their loved ones' choices and consumed by overwhelming grief and fear? Is it possible that I might give encouragement to someone who is stumbling along the same frightening path that I traversed just a few years before? Could my story offer clarity - hope?

Surviving Your Worst Nightmare: A Guide for the Betrayed was written as a result of my wilderness wanderings. It was a long journey; a laborious journey - I did survive my worst nightmare. I knew my story of how I survived my husband's unfaithfulness must be told, so I spent four years pouring through my journals and painstakingly reconstructed my story into the form of a survival guide. I want to be a voice that calls out to the heart wounded in their darkest of nights; I want to encourage the faithful and help them navigate through the aftermath of their loved one's betrayal.

My survival experience was life changing; the knowledge I gained has made it possible for me to come alongside any who have been traumatized by an act of betrayal. I have had many opportunities to meet with individuals who are suffering from the aftershocks of infidelity; whether it is in a public speaking venue or privately with a betrayed spouse, I willingly share my survival story. My desire is to help bring clarity to their confused minds and offer hope for their future. I am passionate about helping the betrayed learn how they too can survive nightmares of the heart.

-Patti Snodgrass

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Ktnic on June 24, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I found Patti's book on the first night of discovering my husband's infidelity. This book was literally a God-send to me in my darkest hour, and has been a wonderful guide as I have attempted to sort through all of the pain, grief, anger, and many losses that came as a result of the affair. Patti's vulnereable and honest writing helped me to see that the thoughts and feelings I was having were not crazy, but real, and that these many pains needed to be faced & embraced in order mourn and move on and begin to heal. Throughout reading the book, I felt as though Patti was leading me to the path of healing, as she has walked it herself, reaching back and saying to me, hang in there, you will make it through too! I felt as though I had a friend along this journey, and found relief in knowing I was not alone. Patti's mantra of healing: "face it, embrace it, mourn it, and move on" spoke deeply to my heart, and her description of her own methods of healing have aided my own journey. The heart work exercises at the end of each chapter are a must for all betrayed spouses reading the book. The questions are very thought provoking and take quite a bit of soul-searching and processing. These exercises greatly helped me to begin moving towards healing in the first days and weeks of recovery, and I will be referring back to this book for many months to come. I'm very thankful that I discovered this book, and will be giving it a high recommendation to my support group of other betrayed spouses.
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful By T. Riley on August 12, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Wow. What depth... what insight... what transparency... what courage. This book is a must-read for, not only someone who has been betrayed, but for anyone who is in relationship with people at all! The author really gave insight into the hard work, the pain that must be faced head-on, and the courage and determination it takes to persevere through the devastation of betrayal or rejection in a relationship - and the great HOPE that comes with it. I found that this really does apply to anyone in marriage, because without being gut-level honest, lamenting, being transparent and vulnerable, forgiving, and obeying, we truly won't make it - at least not to the fulfillment and blessings that God has for us in relationship - especially a broken one. The lessons she laid out for us were truly life lessons for all. She really showed us how to lament. The word lament literally means a deep-gutted cry that is rooted in a deep belief in a good God that is near and able to turn that which is ugly into GREAT BEAUTY. The author gave us a gut-wrenching, but beautiful lesson in lamenting. As she walked the hard road (the authentic Christian road), and though, indeed, it was a long one, she did have the privilege of seeing God turn ugly into great beauty. This book is really a book about the great cost of doing life as an authentic Christian, and the great promises and blessings that come with that - given to us by our amazing Savior.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By KatMcC on August 15, 2011
Format: Paperback
I only wish I could have read this book many years ago. If you are looking for honesty and direction, this is a must read for you. I saw myself on almost every page and connected with the author's strong survival of self. There are a lot of self help books out there with great knowledge of what you should do but none better than this, from someone who has experienced and salvaged a broken life and tells me, "you are not going crazy or shrinking into nothingness, you are important and will survive, stronger than you ever were before". Read the book, pass it on to a friend or loved one who is hurting, betrayed,or feeling broken; I did! Blessing come in small paperbacks inspired by God's love. Thank you Patti.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By CHMckellar on September 18, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After reading many books on forgiveness, recovery, relationships, communication styles, personality disorders etc. and actively working with a counselor for almost 3 years, Surviving Your Worst Nightmare is now on the top of my list of resources that I will refer to over and over again and will recommend to anyone who has or is living with the excruciating heartache of betrayal. Intertwined within the pages of this amazing book, whether you are the betrayed or the betrayer, you WILL find hope, healing and a road map that gives clear direction leading to recovery.

I cannot adequately express how much this book has impacted me. It was as if my own words/thoughts were staring back at me as I read Patti's journal entries. The honesty, grace, humility and courage that Patti poured out and onto the pages of this book is incredible. With such tenderness of spirit this story of heart pain was told so that I might have the chance to live my life in freedom and in truth.

Thank you, Patti for listening to the voice of God and for caring about "us".
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By CM on November 24, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My counselor suggested I pick up this book when I was in the middle of dealing with my partner's betrayals. I was furious and in the midst of a lot of anger towards him and God. Patti's words and guidance in this book gave me a glimpse of hope when I needed it most. I wanted to leave, I wanted to throw things, and she suggested journaling. I thought, 'Yeah right, we'll see how that goes...' I hadn't journaled in years, and once I started, it seemed like I couldn't stop. She does deal with her relationship with God in this book, but I did not feel it was overpowering or that she over-spiritualized the losses and grief she walked through. Her experience is raw and open for you to read. You truly feel like she is walking this road with you, which was comforting. The fact that she dives into her childhood helps a lot as well. I found the guides at the end of each chapter to be very helpful. They gave me direction to sort out my myarid of thoughts and feelings throughout this whole process. I am still in the middle of all this hurt, but I am coming out stronger. This book really helped me to take things one day at a time and focus on how to really deal with this immense pain. I would recommend it to anyone dealing with a betrayal of the heart. Even if you have decided to leave your spouse or separate, it will help you deal with your broken heart. As Patti says, don't give up!! Face the anger and all the crazy feelings, you are worth fighting for!!
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