Customer Reviews

Survivor Personality: Why Some People Are Stronger, Smarter, and More Skillful atHandling Life's Difficulties...and How You Can Be, Too

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This is a wonderfully written book: clear, comprehensive and incredibly insightful. It helps you discover if you are a survivor or not, become one if you are not already, and avoid persecution that sometimes comes your way when you are naturally a survivor personality. I found that last part a fascinating irony: you might think, as I did before reading this book, that it is a 100% great thing to be a survivor. Unfortunately, people in the lives of survivors often criticize and attack them for the very traits that allow them to survive and prosper. To help survivors deal with this, Siebert provides invaluable information on what he calls, "surviving being a survivor." Here is one of my favorites of his many insights on this extremely important issue:

He says that resilient people are often mistaken by others, who are not so good at surviving adversity, as being "pessimists." A survivor is very talented at anticipating possible problems at work and at home and planning a response to them. (Much like the old saying, "Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.") People who hate to look before they leap often accuse survivors of being needlessly fearful, stick-in-the-mud thinkers. Of course, when the inevitable happens, and the ready-or-not-here-I-come types land in trouble, who do they always run to for help digging out of the mess they've failed to anticipate? The survivor, of course.

I highly recommend this book to everyone who needs help successfully living through traumas and catastrophes in his/her life (just about all of us!). The stories Siebert tells of survivors, including analysis of what they did to recover from agonizing events and why their approaches worked, are both practical and inspiring.

+++++

The philosopher Nietzsche once said, "That which does not destroy [or kill] me, makes me stronger." Guess what? There is finally a practical book that shows you how to do that and this is the book!!

This is not a cookbook of instructions but a book of practical guidelines to help you discover inborn abilities that NO one else can reveal to you.

What are some of the features of this book that enable you to do this? They are as follows:

(1) TRUE STORIES. The book is punctuated with true stories from those people who were initially knocked down by disruptive change. These people were able to access their will to survive, and even gain strength from their adversity.

(2) SELF-DEVELOPMENT ACTIVITY INSERTS. These short activities are for helping the reader get the most out of the book. They occur at various places throughout the book.

(3) DIAGRAMS AND CHARTS. These also occur at various places throughout the book. These are to help the reader understand important concepts.

(4) THE AUTHOR'S WRITING STYLE. All of what the author writes is easy to understand. I could find no technical psychobabble anywhere in the book.

(5) OTHER RESOURCES. For those who want more information, other resources are listed at the back of the book. An internet address is also given.

I especially liked two chapters. There first one is entitled "Thriving" which reveals how to grow in adversity instead of being a victim. The other one is entitled "The Roots of Resiliency: Your Inner 'Selfs'." This chapter examines and helps the reader understand his/her inner resiliency resources.

In conclusion, being a disabled person I can validate what the author says in the final paragraph of his book: "It is...adversity [that] can lead to the discovery of strengths that you did not know you had...and a difficulty that almost breaks your spirit can be turned into one of the best things that ever happened to you."

+++++

I coach people in emotional intelligence, including being resilient. This book is like my Bible ... this and all Al Siebert's documented research. He actually looked at resilient seniors to see what traits they had. If you're a survivor, you'll enjoy reading all about yourself in this book, and feeling understood, perhaps for the first time. If you aren't a survivor, read it anyway. The time to build resilience is before the calamity occurs. It can be learned. It's the best antidote to stress there is, and it will make you change-proficient, a trait you need in 2003!

If you've ever felt that no one knows you, that you have so many contradictory traits, or that you are a little warped because you can find humor in anything: Get this book.

So maybe you are a little warped, but what's wrong with that? I've been through hell and I didn't like the cooking, but I am here to testify that Al Siebert knows his stuff. I could have been dead years ago, or a mindless drone now, but I survived. And thrived. You can, too.

For anyone who has ever survived a trauma of ANY kind.... natural disaster, sexual abuse, violence, or a personal disaster of any kind..... this book will help you to understand WHY you survived when others did not -- or help you learn HOW to survive when you thought you never could.....

This book had an enormous impact on me.... It explained many of my inherent traits, that others had seen as "weaknesses", as survivor STRENGTHS -- and I realized that I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was! *grin*

I think this book is probably better for you, the better you are already dealing with life. For someone having survivor traits, it will re-enforce you. To me it seems less useful for those whose self-esteem was badly damaged in early childhood. Perhaps the author underestimates the damage that can be caused by early parental denigration of the child, and how long that influence can last. For some of these people, the book will further depress them when they encounter their inability to adopt the strategies that they know are good, and that the author favors. In my opinion, the book is better at describing survivor traits than at showing others how to succeed.

I'm going through a really rough time right now with an illness in the family. I was perusing the Internet a couple of nights ago when out of the blue, my Amazon page popped up. It seemed like fate because something told me to click on "Books," knowing that something was there, meant to be for me to see. This was the book that was featured. I went out and bought it the next day.
It has helped me out so much and I highly recommend it to anyone who needs some sort of support to help get through whatever their personal situation may be.

I met Dr Siebert six years ago at a workshop he participated for employees facing layoff. I found him inspiring and purchased his book at that time, read two chapters and placed it on the shelf. Facing recent problems at work, and having point out to me that I was in a victim mode, I took the book from the shelf. The student was ready and the Teacher appeared. What I particularly like are the practical exercises, the need to put theory into action. And what is most encouraging is the profession that you are not acquiring new skills, but developing inate abilities.

I don't generally read non-fiction, let alone self-help or self-evaluation type of books, but I checked this book out at the library after seeing Dr. Siebert on "Oprah". I won't say it changed my life, but it certain changed the way I look at life. I guess the thing I found most interesting was the chapter on the contradictory attributes survivors have. I recognized many of them in myself. I was beginning to think I was schizophrenic because in some matters I have a liberal attitude, but in others I'm more conservative than the staunchist Republican. There are numerous other examples, but I won't waste your time listing them here. I'll just conclude by saying this was a great book. I liked it so much, I may have to break down and buy my own copy because there were many passages in the book I would have liked to mark and read over when life throws me a punch.

Siebert shares both valuable insights and practical strategies in this book, painting a portrait of the "survivor personality" to explain skills that can lead to better coping in everyday life. He maintains that those who survive (and thrive) often respond to challenges with humor, wisdom, and mental and emotional flexibility.