Customer Reviews

The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

as a survivor of rape and sexual abuse, i have read a bunch of books on the aftereffects of assault, being a survivor, et cetera, but most of the stuff out there is pretty dry and basic and i just didn't find it very helpful. this book is direct, incredibly right-on, it gives you hands on techniques for staying present in your body, it includes an amazing discussion of triggering. it also uses down to earth language and is not too self-help-y, and it acknowledges that certain terms might be alienating and medicalizing for some people.
FYI: although it is targetted at female survivors of child sexual abuse, i myself am not a woman, and the sexual assault/abuse i experienced occured during my teenage years, not my childhood. i still found the book very useful. there is also a great chapter aimed at partners of survivors.

For the past eight years, I have been slowly, painstakingly discovering for myself many of the techniques that Staci Haines details in this book. As far as I am aware, I am not a survivor of child sexual abuse, but I have many of the same difficulties - lack of trust, unclear boundaries, easily triggered, difficulty being sexually present.

I looked at books on recovery; they seemed only to tell me that it was OK to not have sex. I looked at TONS of books on sex and none addressed my difficulties - until The Survivor's Guide to Sex. I can say from my own experience that it's not easy to put Staci's suggestions into practice, nor do the rewards necessarily come quickly. But for some of us, this is the only way we're going to reclaim our sexuality.

I highly recommend this book if you feel numb, shut-down, or angry during sex, whether or not you are a "survivor". Chances are you have some deep healing work to do, and this book is the only guide I've seen for doing it.

When I first found this book I was hoping it would be different, as a healing survior I have read alot of help books, and although comforting, they usually told me why I had the problems I did but didnt give me much advice on how to start living and having fun again in life, this book was amazing at that, it was what I had been looking to read since I started wanting to heal!! It would be a great book for anyone wanting good sexual information in a society that dosnt offer that much, I found it straight forward and honest and funny ..great book!! I loooved it!!:)

At some point in their healing, all survivors of childhood sexual abuse should read this book. It is straightforward and to the point, and this style helps the survivor feel that sexual feelings and actions are not something to be ashamed of. Many books for survivors tend to coddle the survivor because of the terrible ordeal she underwent, but this one presents a no-holds-barred discussion of sex and provides exercises to become more comfortable with sex. Very important book for the sexual healing process.

This is a truly extraordinary book. It picks up where other books leave off by helping survivors move beyond the abuse into a fully satisfying life -- a life that re-incorporates sex without the painful associations of the abuse.

This book really has it all. It addresses the systemic problems of sexual abuse and sexism in our society and focuses on the particular intersection of these two forces in our sex lives. Haines provides both the context for understanding why it is so difficult for survivors to have an empowered sex life, and the tools to help create that life. And all this in Haines' caring and empathetic voice.

This is also a very practical guidebook designed to help survivors in a real way. I particularly liked the exercises Haines has developed, as well as the quotes from survivors. No woman will feel alone in her experience after reading this book.

Haines is an extraordinary woman. All survivors are lucky she is there to help us. I definitely recommend you read this book. Right now.

Finally! A book about sexual power for survivors of sexual abuse. A far reaching, fun, and accessable look at sexual healing and reclaiming by a gentle and astute teacher. Staci Haines speaks from the soul of the issue, emphasizing self care and adventure. Most importantly, her reccomended exercises help you get the message into your muscles. Not just your head. Which is where too many of us have lived for too long. Brava to you, Staci. A must read for everyone, survivors or not.

This book is a explicit guide to sex focusing on helpful instructions for those who have been sexually abused in their childhood. Possibly the greatest strength of this book is its approach to sexuality as something to be enjoyed to the fullest without shame and guilt. The reclaiming of the one's sexuality, sensuality and pleasure is something that often receives far too little attention in psychotherapy. A care free approach to sex is something that obviously is more difficult to obtain for those who have experienced sexuality as a devastating influence in their life. In my opinion, if this book is going to be used as educational material in clinical practice it is important to be aware of the conflicts that may arise the mind of the client who has been sexually abused. Having said this, a free, explorative, empowered experience of sex is a beautiful thing to be striving for, and this book can be of help achieving it.

Staci Haines has given millions of people a new possibility for healing their childhood wounds and experiencing sexuality in the way it was meant to be. It is down-to-earth and choked full of valuable insights and information that will support any survivor (or the people who love them) with discovering the richness of unencumbered sexuality which allows for the freedom of the soul. Considering that 1 in 4 of us has suffered the wounding of child sexual abuse you can safely give this book to anyone and know that it will be relevant for them or someone they love. Staci Haines deserves a standing ovation for her courage and talent in writing this book!!

This book was so helpful to me. As a victim or molestation when i had just started adolescence, this book helped me understand my bad feelings towards ex, and how to make a relationship sex-positive. I have never felt more alive or more aware about myself. As a pansexual adult I also felt that the author had all the bases covered. This book is a must have for any survivor who feels alone about their sex life.

I would like to recommend this book to any and all survivors of all walks of life. Male, female, gay, straight, single, married..this book can finally show you how to break through that wall we've all built around ourselves. This book contains step by step techniques to help you recognize, conquer, and live through your triggers. Find your true self..and read this book. The exercises, the abundance of resources, and the straight forward no nonsense approach from the writer is everything you need to finally break down that wall. Just remember it's an everyday battle and there is no miracle cure, but this book can be the catalyst you've needed to finally break free from your abuse. God bless and happy healing!!