Customer Reviews

Swallow the Ocean: A Memoir

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This is a moving and beautifully written love story by a daughter about her mother and her entire family. It is a must-read for anyone who has ever lived in proximity with someone who is 'walking wounded' as a consequence of mental illness, but is not ill enough to be hospitalized. In a most beautiful and moving way, Ms Flynn tells her story of growing up in San Francisco as her Mom descends into mental illness.
I was truly blessed with Swallow the Ocean only a few weeks after caring for and then burying a mentally ill relative who had simply worn out those who lived in closest contact with him. He couldn't help being ill; the relatives who weren't around for him could be forgiven for giving up on him. He was not easy to love.
Ms Flynn builds a bridge for us to help better understand mental illness and how families struggle to do their best under very trying circumstances.

Once you begin reading "Swallow the Ocean," you won't be able to put it down. I read it until 3 am, and I would have kept on reading it if I hadn't gotten to the end. This is just one of those books. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that the story will break your heart and then help you put it back together again.

This is a marvelous, beautiful book. The writing is stunning!

I am not a big memoir reader- even acclaimed ones are usually too self-indulgent for my tastes. But a friend pressed Swallow the Ocean on me, and once I got started I couldn't put it down. It lights up many parts of your brain as you are reading it, and for some time afterwards too.

First of all, this is a memoir but it's written like a novel. Honestly, Flynn's writing is just so beautiful - she captures each moment with just the right words and stunning phrases, I really look forward to whatever she writes next, whether it be fiction or not. So for those of you not such big fans of memoirs, this may be a good one to pick up simply for the novel-esque quality about it.

Second of all, I was especially intrigued by this book because I have an undergraduate degree in psychology and mental illness is something that I've studied and that I'm very interested in. I also spent two years in college volunteering at a crisis/suicide hotline, where in addition to receiving calls from suicide victims, we also spoke with several "regulars" who were sufferers of different types of mental illnesses, including schizophrenia. The behaviors Flynn described her mother doing were very similar to what I saw in the people that I had worked with who suffered from schizophrenia. It was heartbreaking (yet also interesting) to read about this disease from a child's perspective, and to see the utter destruction it caused in these three girls' lives. It made me sad to read about the first time Flynn's father attempted to gain custody, when her mother put on such a good show that the courts threw his case right out - keep in mind, this was in a time when the mother ALWAYS got custody, so it was of course a long shot to begin with. But all the same, how sad to be a child in this terrifying situation, when even your own father cannot rescue you?

The ending of this book is ultimately triumphant, although sad at the same time. I feel for Flynn, being a thirtysomething woman and not having a mother to talk to - personally, my mother is one of the most important people in my life. But it seems as though she has truly come to terms with her mother's condition - she spoke of the closeness she now has with her sisters, father, and stepmother, and it didn't seem like Flynn really felt she was missing out on much in her life. This book really shows how growing up in an adverse situation can truly create your personality - Flynn and her sisters' lives were shaped by their mother's schizophrenia, and this book is a wonderful testament to what we can make of our circumstances, even the most awful ones.

My heart still breaks for the little girls at the center of this book, and their carefully constructed world of imagination that fights against the illness in their house. The writing has an ethereal quality to it that keeps you turning the pages long after bedtime, and sticks with you long after the last riveting page.

Swallow the Ocean is one of the most tremendous memoirs I have ever read. I could feel the build of events, though they were never once written about in an overly dramatic fashion. The book seems to be crafted with the opposite in mind- a quiet, brooding, mounting pressure, all given to the reader as if on the sly, as if sharing a whispered secret. So that by the time I read one of the final scenes, I was in part stunned that there was this kind of action after so much surviving of the incremental steps. Simply, it does everything a powerful memoir should do, but is even more beautiful because it's done thoughtfully, quietly, elegantly.

This is exactly the kind of memoir I most like to read. The author, Laura Flynn, tells in clear, beautiful language a muddled, sad story---her life with her mother, who was paranoid schizophrenic but refused any treatment. She and her sisters endure years of life with a mother who was increasingly out of touch with reality, who took out much of her anger on Laura's older sister Sara, and who in spite of all this could at times be an amazing, creative mother. This is a also an account of how hard it was in the 1970s for a father to get custody of children, even in a case like this where the mother was clearly unfit to parent. Thankfully, he finally did, and the dramatic way Laura's mother falls apart the day that happens casts a sad light over the memory of the years before and over all the future years. The memoir is also, in a way, one that may give hope to a lot of people---Laura and her sisters turn out well, saved by the happy early years and the love of their father and step-mother, and extended family. I really liked the writing here. The book was well-written without being showy---I never got the feeling this was a showplace for hours spent in writer's workshops, but rather, a story that needed to be told and was told, very well.

The first two days the book was in my house, I lost it to my wife, who read it straight threw. Then I couldn't put it down. For such a subject that can be so heavy, the writing is very easy to sink into and enjoy. I also grew up with a parent who was mentally ill for many years. This book found an approach to talking about growing up with a mentally ill parent that was just the right balance of directly looking at what is painful and lightness. The author can sometimes takes a refreshing birds-eye view, while also noticing intimate, specific details of family life. I found reading it to be very life-affirming.

I was riveted by this story. Not sure how anyone could give it 2 stars. It brought back my own memories of growing up in a fairly messed up home with a divorced mother (not truly mentally ill but she had her moments) and six other siblings, all of who chose different ways to cope with neglect and poverty. I felt this to be a very moving story and well-written. I liked the detail of how the kids managed to play; I can remember playing like this myself. It's amazing how resilient kids can be even when raised by an incompetent parent and it always fascinates me how children are simply unable to truly reflect on their situations (only as adults can they do this).

I've read many, many memoirs, but this is one of my favorites. Flynn offers readers haunting images of her years spent trapped with a schizophrenic mother. As you read, it's easy to get lost inside Flynn's chaotic home with her, but Flynn balances the disturbing memories with insight into what allowed her to survive--close bonds with her sisters, a persistent father, and her own creative strength. Don't make the mistake of assuming you won't relate to Flynn's story if your mother isn't schizophrenic--her themes (grief, abandonment, childhood confusion) are universal. And this is no fluff writing, either--Flynn's got the gift. The narrative has a very natural flow--no awkward metaphors or fuzzy images.