Customer Reviews

Swinging for Beginners: An Introduction to the Lifestyle

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I decided to research this topic from a psychological perspective and started exploring books that are still available to read (many go out of print quickly). This 245 page paperback by a married woman in the "lifestyle" with her husband for a while now was the best book that I found. Let me say that this book is not just for beginners -- there is something here for all who choose to investigate swinging. The book covers pretty much all aspects/questions concerning swinging. While it is not a scientific study, it is one person's opinions and personal accounts and they appear genuine and accurate. The author looks at roughly 75 or so areas directly related to swinging, covering pretty much all of the bases, including: who are swingers?, single men/women in swinging, jealousy, costs involved, clubs and parties, precautions, suitability for the lifestyle, etc., etc. She cites what she describes as the three rules of swinging: 1."Swinging is what you make it. Swinging is about letting go of outdated notions about sex and relationships. It's about giving up hang-ups and allowing yourself to be completely free while allowing your lover to do the same. 2. You must go into swinging for the right reasons. And those reasons include wanting to get closer to your lover and to get in touch with who you really are and the sexual being inside of you. 3. Swinging is a very private thing between you and your partner and not between you and the rest of the world."

The "personal and related experiences" used throughout the book are very enlightening and add to the flow and readability of the book. Obviously, this is not a book for everyone. However, if you, alone or with a partner, are considering the swinging lifestyle, this is an excellent book to get your hands on and read.

I think that for a relatively small paperback it is a bit overpriced ($16.95 US) yet there are so few books like it that it is worth the price if you are truly serious about this topic. On the other hand, look for a used copy as you may well find one around. I might also note that some of the typographical and grammatical errors are annoying but don't detract from the message that the book seeks to deliver. The book is indeed "upfront and honest" and a quick read. Note: I read "Considering Swinging" by Ed and Dana Allen before this book. That is a 53 page booklet which is not nearly as good/helpful as this book, in my opinion.

Ms. Bellemeade has done an admiral job of introducing the swinging lifestyle to beginners. Check it out if you are inquisitive about this topic...

Excellent for Beginners! The book truly taught us everything we needed to know, discuss together, prepare for and how to understand all the emotions and feelings involved after a first date. We are having a blast, but I sure couldnt see just going into it blind. The book made my wife much more comfortable. We read about 5 or 6 books and this was the best one we found so far.

This book is extremely well written and we found it very informative.It treats the subject as it should be treated, not too heavy and not too lightly. At times it is also very amusing.The first person experiences and related experiences are sometimes amusing and give food for thought. The book answered just about all our questions, (and we had were quite a few!)and helped us in our decision to try the lifestyle. Praise for Kaye for writing in a straightforward, informative and amusing manner.

I must say I'm amazed at this book. It is full of useful information and is told from the viewpoint of an experienced swinger. (And, yes, you can tell when they're "for real" and when they're not. This one is.) What I liked about it was the stories and the candor the author used when describing the Lifestyle. She very well knows that swinging isn't a choice for all couples in the world and she lets us know that. Some are suited, some are not. I believe that is the most important remark she makes in the entire book as I, myself, have encountered people who are not quite suited for this lifestyle due to jealousy or insecurity issues. It really makes one take a good hard look at themselves and the choices they make about the Lifestyle.

Not only was this book very informative but it was also easy reading. I enjoyed it so much that I could not put it down. The author has a wealth of knowledge and the manner in which she shares it is nothing short of excellent. I highly recommend it for those considering taking the plunge so to speak.

This is a great book if you are considering entering the swinger lifestyle. Answers lots of questions and gives great advice. Gave me and my wife a different outlook. Very easy and quick to read. Very glad we bought.

If this is the first introduction for someone to the lifestyle I would think many would run screaming, I'm amazed to see the positive reviews this book has on Amazon... but then again most of those are from people with no experience in the lifestyle and this book as truly their introduction.

This book is admittedly based on her personal experience and opinions and it is full of both. Some of the "personal experiences" are entertaining and some make good points, others left me wondering what the point was. Overall, the book left a really negative taste in my mouth because of how much of it was just her opinion. The book is written in an overall light tone which should make it easy to read. The problem for me is that I kept having to put it down to bang my head on something or write out my thoughts about what the author had said.

Some of the implications that the book left me with as I read it and often asked "WFT!?"

Quote:

It [Swinging]means that you're not willing to risk your relationship by having an affair

this one left me thinking that the author had the idea that swinging was a good choice to avoid cheating.. or to save a marriage.

Quote:

Most men , unless extremely jealous or insecure, will jump at the idea of swinging....

Quote:

if you can't handle your partner going off to be alone with someone else, you can't really handle swinging.

The author completely contradicts herself from one page to the next on the topic of standing people up. One page she talks to those who back out basically saying that it's ok to do it. That it's ok if you are just all about the fantasy and you can't handle the reality. Then on the very next page she talks to those who have been stood up and calls the people who do the standing up Bastards! Granted I agree with the second page, but it just didn't make much sense in light of her comments on the previous page.

She uses a personal experience (not her own) to relate how important it is to follow others rules but no where in the personal experience that is shared does it appear that the rules were ever made clear to the person who broke them. Yes, it's important to follow the rules of others, but you have to take responsibility and enforce your own rules as well. Too often the personal experiences are negative and after reading so many from the author I can't help but feel that she is full of drama (and so are her friends), for that many bad things to happen to one couple (and their friends) within swinging.

She refers to a husband who after going to a swinger party decided he wasn't comfortable and wanted to leave as a "crybaby".

She encourages using false names and information on documents you may fill out at a swinger club even after addressing the fact that those documents are a legal formality.

Her advice for breaking it off with a couple who has gotten too close to you... tell them you are taking a break from the lifestyle. If they don't get the hint from that... just ignore their emails until they do.

The book does have a few gems but they are rare and buried amongst too much personal opinion to make buying (or reading) this book worthwhile .... and that's my personal opinion.

I would not recommend this book as a "an introduction to the lifestyle" or a guide for beginners to get an understanding of what to expect. You will get an understanding of how this particular author views and has experienced the lifestyle... a view that is just too narrow to help many. This book should be called "How to Swing with Drama".

Learned alot of information on the Lifestyle. I thought I knew alot, but I only knew a small part of it. Even if you aren't thinking about actually getting into the liefstyle, it has a lot of information to open your mind to new things.

Excellent book, well put together and very informative. Covered all aspects of swinging that a beginner would need to make an informaed decision about the lifestyle. I personally enjoyed the personal stories touch. Thanks, Fred

This book was helpful in so many ways. The first chapter alone was worth buying this book.