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Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, Sometimes Messy, but Always Adventurous Swinging Lifestyle [Kindle Edition]

Daniel Stern
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $26.00
Kindle Price: $17.99
You Save: $8.01 (31%)
Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
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Book Description

A wry and revealing story of one man’s journey into the swinger lifestyle that pulls back the curtain on one of our most fascinating—and private—subcultures

An estimated fifteen million strong worldwide, swingers are everywhere—a huge community hiding in plain sight whose erotic pastime remains a complete mystery to the rest of us. In Swingland, Daniel Stern outs himself and the secretive society he loves, recounting his transformation from a bumbling neophyte terrified of all things carnal into a veteran sexual adventurer.

Once confined to suburban key parties and private clubs, “swinging” has transformed, via the Internet, into a free-for-all. Today only a few mouse clicks locates your perfect couple (or couples), far easier and less riskily than ever before (no worrying about running into them at PT A meetings). There are plenty of bumps and bruises along the way for Stern, including countless rejections, missed opportunities, and one particular AARP orgy. But slowly and surely, through an impressive series of threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes, this “Vanilla” newbie becomes a much sought-after partner for couples looking to spice up their relationships. During his exploits, he learns a whole new lexicon (there aren’t many single women swingers, or “Unicorns,” but plenty of MFMs, FMFs, MFMFs, and GBs), as well as invaluable advice (be honest, open, and know your limits).

But Swingland is much more than a titillating exposé. Stern’s wit and infectious enthusiasm make Swingland as improbably safe as it is fun—and impossible to put down. All are welcome, but bring flip-flops (it can get messy).

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Screenwriter Stern initiates readers into the world of swinging, sharing his experiences, often in graphic detail, and instructions—should you decide to enter into The Lifestyle. After a series of poor performances, Stern decided he needed sexual batting practice and joined a Web site for those seeking casual encounters. He recounts his first experience with multiple partners, which began with a chat about countertops and ends with Stern cutting his head open on a ceiling fan. Another encounter finds Stern the youngest by three-plus decades. He participates in a poker game to win sex with a woman and gives hilarious commentary on the competition. Stern provides advice for single men about being respectful to women and impervious to rejection, and about how to create the ideal online profile. He also includes tips for e-mailing potential partners, and outlines scene lingo—including the important distinctions between an MFM and an MMF experience, or hard versus soft swaps. Only an insider could describe proper sex club footwear and detail necessary topics of discussion before an encounter, as well as Lifestyle faux pas. Stern warns that participation in the Lifestyle takes Kevlar skin and a Chicago Cubs fan's constitution, but, if inclined, you will find no greater guide into its inner workings. (Oct. 1)


"Transcends most of the usual boundaries of sexuality. … Leaves the vanilla world behind." (New York Times Book Review)

"Stern hilariously recounts his life in the swingers community. …Equal parts memoir and guide book." (New York Post)

"Los Angeles screenwriter Stern penetrates the unconventional world of swinging… A unique, voyeuristic expose of a taboo bedroom counterculture." (Kirkus Reviews)

"Brave, funny, eye-opening, entertaining, and well-written . . . everything one could ask, really, of a book about sex. But for all its titillations, Swingland is also something more rare: it is humane, and vulnerable. The book is a genuine delight.” (Matthew Specktor, author of American Dream Machine)

If you want to know your MFM from your MMF, your NSA from your GB and so much more, here's a man who's been there and done everything! Swingland is the erotic equivalent of a travelogue. Stern is an excellent X-rated tour guide through the often misunderstood world of swinging.” (Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor, The Big Book of Orgasms)

"Swingland is everything you need to know about swinging, whether it's your thing or it isn't. Stern isn't trying to pull punches here. He's the real deal, and it shows. Especially in chapters like Synthesis, bedded down in a lovely little section called Intercourse. This book is a must-read. I also thought it was really funny that he says 'DON'T be creepy' in a guidebook to swingers. Brilliant." (Oriana Small, a.k.a. Ashley Blue, author of Girlver: A Porno Memoir)

"Delightfully self-deprecating, and unrelentingly honest. Swingland offers an insightful glimpse into a strange sexual world." (Sam Benjamin, author of American Gangbang</spa)

"Daniel Stern navigates the naked frontier of consensual, casual group sex with a firm, polite grip. Never pedantic, Swingland shimmies like the mingling souls of James Brown (The Los Angeles Diaries) and Augusten Burroughs to the Boogie Nights soundtrack." (Antonia Crane, author of Spent)

"SWINGLAND is a seductive story about a mysterious subculture, but ultimately, it's about transformation and one man's search for his own naked truth." (Associated Press)

Product Details

  • File Size: 3620 KB
  • Print Length: 321 pages
  • Publisher: Touchstone (October 1, 2013)
  • Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #272,282 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So much fun! October 15, 2013
By jb28806
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Very funny and very informative! I would have never known to bring a fruit tray along if not for Mr. Stern.

Plus, best reference to "Hungry Eyes" ever. Impossible to read the rest of that chapter without that as the soundtrack, which made it even more entertaining than it already was.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read Cover to Cover October 18, 2013
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Wasn't sure what to expect when I opened this book but, was very satisfied on how entertaining and informative it was. Daniels personal stories are fun, humble and put me at ease when reading. This book lead me down the path of how to start in this lifestyle and what I may expect. I think the rules given (especially about single men) are a must for anyone looking to break into this lifestyle. I believe this is a great read for anyone even those who aren't looking to swing. Daniel does a wonderful job of showing how fun, rewarding and sexy this lifestyle can be. This book definitely has put me at ease for some of my big fears of trying this for myself. I look forward to Daniels next book, whatever it may be.

Thank you Daniel for the words of wisdom!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Swinging for the Fences October 4, 2013
By Weber
"SWINGLAND" by Daniel Stern is a must read might, however might not be for everyone in the "Vanilla" world, but I highly recommend it. This self deprecating autobiographical/how to book into this world known as "The Lifestyle" is like binge watching your favorite show on Netflix like "Breaking Bad". You go from one chapter to the next as the story develops and you can't believe what is unfolding. It's a page turner and when one chapter ends you don't want to wait to see to see where Dan Stern takes us next. The writing, amazing references, and the glossary of terms transform the reader into this Lifestyle that by the end you feel like you have just been on one incredible "RIDE-ALONG"...
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very entertaining and informative October 10, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The cover with provocatively placed gummi bears immediately dispeled any negative taboo feelings I might have had about reading a book about life as a swinger.
The book balances being a manual for new swingers and a memoir of the writer's life as a swinger.
I enjoyed it immensely. Daniel presents the Lifestyle is such a straight forward, honest way that even my vanilla life was quite engrossed in how the Lifestyle works. Daniel presents himself as an everyman that most men can relate to and women are endeared to. So when we hear of some of the crazier exploits that he has experienced; we go with him on the ride (often many rides at a time) and laugh along with him.
I suggest this book to anyone who obviously is curious about the Lifestyle but also to anyone who wants to be entertained with wild stories. Just note, perhaps reading this on your Kindle at breakfast with your 7 year old son who is watching Magic School Bus can be a little uncomfortable. Take my word for it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars It's alright... November 13, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
this is really more of a "how to" book for people who want to check out the "Lifestyle." I was hoping it would be a deeper dive into the participants and the relationships, but it's pretty shallow. Lots of titillating anecdotes if that's what you're after. I was hoping for more substance and got bored.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Swingland: delightfully between the sheets!!!! October 9, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Reviewing a book... is definitely more challenging than one may ever realize! While most reviewers would like to nosh on about literary style and function, I find this technique of little value to the everyday reader. So, with the common every day readers, such as myself, firmly in mind....I shall begin! Swingland was not only extremely informative, it was, by far, one of the most humorous books I have read in a very long time. I laughed till tears ran from my eyes! Daniel has an amazing ability to draw the reader right into the pages with him. I was riveted; I became an instant voyeur! His tales of both failure and conquest kept me turning the pages well past my bedtime!!

While the book may have been written to the single male wanting to venture into the Lifestyle, it has something to offer everyone... even the vanilla folks of the world. Daniel has stepped out on the proverbial limb to give the world a birds-eye view (voyeuristic pun inteded!!) of the very secretive world of swinging. Most of the vanilla world rejects swingers with abject horror, and for what reason? I believe it is lack of understanding! We simply fear what we do not understand. Swingland does an excellent job providing a new understanding of a subculture that that has been otherwise convoluted by gross misrepresentation on TV/Movies/Media. Perhaps, this book will be the catalyst of acceptance for the swingers that have to live in fear of rejection, or expulsion from their everyday social circles.

Pick up Swingland, travel the road of self-discovery with Daniel, and maybe learn a little about yourself along the way!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Swing...and a home run! October 11, 2013
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Swingland is a witty, playful, informative read. Whether you are a Voyeur, a Vanilla, a Lifestyle Wanna-Be, or a Lifestyler, this instructional read offers something for everyone. Daniel opens up his proverbial closet doors and with his humorous and self deprecating ways he invites you into his world of swinging. His first hand accounts of sexual failures and triumphs endears him to the reader. You can't help but keep turning the pages to see what sexual adventure he gets himself into next.

This book pulls back the curtains on the secretive world of swinging, to allow the vanilla world to understand and accept it more. Taking this self discovery ride with Daniel on his sexual journey not only helps the reader understand this subculture Lifestyle, but also may open up their own eyes and ideas to their sexual exploration. It is a must read for everyone.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars this book is a departure and opened my eyes to the different...
Written in a realistic and humorous manner, but tells it warts and all. Having read similar books by couples or woman, this book is a departure and opened my eyes to the different... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars very fun& informative
I enjoyed this book. Funny & honest. Don't know if I'll ever try the Lifestyle but if I do, I'll know what to expect!
Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
Published 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Swingland: Fun!
Fun! Written simply, with appropriate humility. Reads naturally. The narrative is a nice window on the culture.
Published 3 months ago by brdmcd
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting treatment
Excellent essays on an unusual subject. I think I now understand the Lifestyle much better. The basic attraction of formalizing sex still escapes me, but lots of people need... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Clark Macomber
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny, sexy, and informative.
Published 5 months ago by Him and her
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing Account That Should Not Be Missed
I don't think you could find a more enjoyable read about the lifestyle that combines both real world scenarios and advice along with expertly written prose. Read more
Published 8 months ago by R. Jayne
5.0 out of 5 stars An uproarious romp and titilating page turner
This book was like 2 books in 1 : a how to guide, diving into the do’s and don’ts of the Lifestyle, mainly geared toward single males… and then also a juicy coming-of-age tale of... Read more
Published 8 months ago by bookasdish
5.0 out of 5 stars Thanks for doing the hard work
I always wondered about the world of swing but was too timid to try. This book gets my inside without me having to take me clothes off.
Published 8 months ago by Kimberlee N. Taylor
5.0 out of 5 stars Informative fun read!
If you've ever wondered what it's like in the "dark, secret, underworld" of swingers, this is the book to read! Read more
Published 12 months ago by Suzy S
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