Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead [Paperback]

Joel Derfner (Author), Elton John (Foreword)

Book Description

Release date: June 16, 2009

A hilarious and deeply moving account of one man’s journey from stereotype to truth.

Joel Derfner is a knitter, an aerobics instructor, a cheerleader, a go-go dancer, and a musical theater composer, but when he realizes one day that he’s a walking gay cliché he embarks on a quest for deeper meaning. A very, very funny quest for deeper meaning. And whether he’s confronting the demons of his past at a GLBT summer camp, using the Internet to “meet” men–many, many men–or going undercover to a conference of ex-gays, he discovers that what he’s looking for–and sometimes even finds, hidden underneath the surface of everyday life–is his own identity. In the tradition of David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, yet with its own particular flair, Swish is a story told with not just wit but humor; not just candor but honesty; and not just compassion but humanity.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Derfner (Gay Haiku) recounts his forays into indignity, knitting and unlikely friendships in this engaging if uneven memoir. Derfner's affectionate portraits of the men he met at a Christian homosexual conversion retreat and his account of his dueling desires—to accept them or shepherd them toward self-acceptance—provide welcome gravity in a book that flirts with more substantive issues of intimacy, identity and masculinity but never fully engages them. The book's conversational tone suffers from a heavy reliance on hyperbole, and the author's carefully cultivated campy persona feels tiresomely derivative and forced. And while Derfner's foibles—losing his aerial cheerleading position to more capable females, making only $5 in his first night as a go-do dancer—are amusing, his kiss-and-tell accounts of hookups and bad sex rarely rise above their own prurience. The most forceful ruminations arise gracefully from unlikely sources: memories of his musical theater education digress into a discussion encompassing concentration camp artwork, ancient Hebrew concepts of creation and the Columbia space shuttle explosion. Derfner's essays on his struggle to form meaningful relationships benefit more from his emotional intelligence than his wit. (May 13)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

“In a culture where we disguise vulnerability with physical perfection and material success, Derfner skewers heartache with Wildean wit . . . [Derfner is]the next Noël Coward.” —Out.com

“Searing.” —Washington Blade

“Derfner’s writing is perfect. . . . He’s your best friend. He’s your brother. He is you.” — EDGE Los Angeles

“Sometimes hilarious, sometimes poignant, always clever, and unpredictable.” —Philadelphia Gay News

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Broadway (June 16, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767924312
• ISBN-13: 978-0767924313
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #131,854 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #10 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Biographies & Memoirs > Gay

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 17 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, Insightful and Courageous June 28, 2008

By Timothy Mulder VINE™ VOICE

Format:Kindle Edition

There are two basic types of reviews in this world, the;
'Oh my God, you should have seen/read the amazing characterization/acting/cinematography/special effects... you simply must go see/read this book/movie/play/production!' Yay!!!
Or... the;
'I have a rather large literary stick up my yahoo and am therefore qualified to relate all the technical achievements and defects of said book/movie/production... yadda, yadda, yadda.'
For myself...
In the WaHoo! Department... let me just say two things. I read the book cover to cover.... and I frequently had to hold a pillow over my face so that my out-of-control laughter would not wake anyone else in the house.
I am a gay man and I do live, to a certain degree, within the world that Joel Derfner describes. So I suppose that biases me a tad. But make no mistake, the humor is born, not from the triteness of the gay experience, but out of one man's incredibly resourceful coping mechanisms while living with multiple personality issues, like OCD, a pathological need to be accepted and fear of ever - under any circumstances - offending anyone... about anything. In other words... this is true courage in action.
Technically speaking... as a fellow author; all I could think after finishing each and every paragraph, was how I had to go back and rework my own writing. (ever damn word and sentence) My Derfner is a literary artisan who uses words with efficiency, precision and aplomb.
If all of that is a little too 'high brow' and you require a perspective a tad more mundane. Think of the character 'Jack' from TV's 'Will and Grace', only with a brain and something insightful to say.
The highest praise I can think of after reading this book; "I wish Joel Derfner was a personal friend of mine."
Go, Read... you won't be disappointed.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars you HAVE to get this! December 18, 2009

By Heidi

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I adore this book. It has something for everyone - gay, straight, striped, whatever. I laughed, I related, I didn't want it to end. An all-around fabulous read!

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Required Reading December 20, 2008

By Black Koffee Blues

Format:Hardcover

Rarely do I find myself taking the time to review anything (5 attempts at a blog and not one lasted more than a month!) but how could I not! While on a residency trip for grad school, I went to a bookstore to browse for diversion in the form of light reading or fashion magazines. How could it be possible for the cover not to completely draw you in! I read it on the plane ride from Virginia home to California. I laughed until I cried and then went online to order ten more copies to give away. Swish for everyone! I also recommend reading it out loud to someone you love, or like a lot, or just to complete strangers as a random act of kindness.