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THE KEYS TO MY DIARY [Kindle Edition]

Ann Omasta , Amber Bungo
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $9.99
Kindle Price: $2.99
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Book Description

Get ready to be enchanted by the personal diary of Fern Burns. (Yes, she knows her name is ridiculous. If you met her flighty mother, you would understand.) Fern is 42-years-old, lives in the beautiful, tropical Florida Keys and is not your typical Contemporary Romance heroine.

In this journal, Fern shares the wacky, entertaining stories of her life for the year. From the love-hate relationship she develops with the book “The Secret” to having to deal with cursing parrots and a road filled with skittering crabs, her summations of her offbeat daily life make for a delightfully fun read.

Fern treats her diary like her best friend as she openly writes about her hopes and dreams, her thoughts and fears, and her triumphs and embarrassments. This is a particularly exciting year because she finally meets the man of her dreams. Or is he?

This fast-paced story is an intimate look inside Fern’s life as she hands over the keys to her diary. Go ahead…Take a PEEK!


Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a hilarious, yet emotional sweet read." - Stephanie, The Kindle Book Review

About the Author

These bios are generally rather dry, so I thought I'd shake up the format a little bit. Here are ten not-so-interesting tidbits about me: 1. I despise whipped cream. There, I admitted it in writing. Let the ridiculing begin. 2. Even though I have lived as far south as Key Largo, Florida and as far north as Maine, I landed in the middle. 3. If I don't make a conscious effort not to, I will drink nothing but tea morning, noon and night. Hot tea, sweet tea, green tea - I love it all. 4. There doesn't seem to be much in life that is better than coming home to a big dog who is overjoyed to see me. My other family members usually show significantly less enthusiasm about my return. 5. Singing in my bestest, loudest voice does not make my family put on their happy faces. This includes the big, loving dog referenced above. 6. Yes, I am aware that bestest is not a word. 7. Dorothy was right. There's no place like home. 8. All of the numerous bottles in my shower must be lined up, with their labels facing out. It makes me feel a little like Julia Roberts' mean husband from the movie 'Sleeping with the Enemy', but I can't seem to control this particular quirk. 9. I love, love, love finding a great bargain. 10. Did I mention that I hate whipped cream? It makes my stomach churn to look at it, touch it, smell it or even think about it. Great - now I'm thinking about it. Ick!

Product Details

  • File Size: 2138 KB
  • Print Length: 241 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1500224979
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1500224979
  • ISBN-13: 978-1500224974
  • ASIN: B00KUX0NAE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #483,554 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, Yet Emotional Sweet Read! June 21, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Each year our main character starts a new diary, this is #42. Her name is Fern Mable Burns, yes Fern Burns...what a name! Even though her name is strange, you will find that she is a delightful, day dreaming, quirky klutz. Let me tell you, reading daily diary entries of Miss Burn's is quite an experience.
Sometimes I found myself laughing out loud. Other times I actually put my hands over my eyes with complete embarrassment for her. Alas, I also shed a few tears with her as well.
Through all the craziness, Fern meets the man of her dreams, Brody MacDonald (Mac). She states that he is more handsome than George Clooney. Is that even possible? He treats her like she is the most important person in his world, but then he leave for weeks, sometimes months at a time. He claims all his trips are for work but he never really tells her what he does for a living and he never asks her to join him. This troubles me! Could this possibly be true? You will just have to get the keys to Fern's diary to find out.
This is a hilarious, yet emotional sweet read.
Stephanie Lasley, from The Kindle Book Review
The Kindle Book Review received a free copy of this book for an independent, fair, and honest review. We are not associated with the author or Amazon.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Plunge Right In! July 1, 2014
By Piper
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
You’ll adore Fern Burns. Yes, that’s her real name. The reader gets to peek into the private world of a funny, quirky, caring, somewhat naughty Key Largo lady. Whether she’s being swept off her feet by an impossibly perfect, gorgeous billionaire, or plowing through ordinary life and work tasks like straightening lounge chairs and going shopping, you’ll find yourself immersed in the world and mind of Fern. Written as diary entries covering a year in her life, you’ll find yourself eagerly turning the pages to read the next entry, and the next, and the next. You don’t want to stop.
Ann Omasta engages the reader with her vivid descriptions of the tempting Keys. I’m not a natural water person, but she made me want to plunge into the ocean and go snorkeling. I think I will stay away from night dives, though. (I’m with you, Fern!) I could feel and see the hot sun setting into her otherwise ideal studio apartment on the water.
If you like spicy and sensual, there’s plenty of that and then some. If you like characters with depth and poignancy, you’ll get that too! “The Keys to My Diary,” like The Keys, is an Ideal place to escape into.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly entertaining, adult read June 18, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
If you are familiar with 'Adrian Mole' by 'Sue Townsend' or 'The Koala Speaks' BLOG (puyob.blogspot.co.uk), or you

just like to read other people's diary, then you are sure to enjoy reading 'THE KEYS TO MY DIARY' by Ann Omasta.

Through her many diary entries, we get to know the likable character of Fern Burns and her often caotic, always

entertaining and at times sad but never dull life including the highs and lows of her often depleated but highly

amusing sex life.

What I really like about this book is that it well written and edited, a real page turner with a central female

character, which is believable i.e. someone you can identify with. Having said that, I am not sure that I as a man

understand what Fern's 'grey bush' worries is all about. Still makes me chuckle, one of my favorite entries :)

In summary, an entertaining, adult read, worthy of five stars.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Endearing, funny and sexy July 16, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The Keys To My Diary is a rarity among contemporary romance novels - an endearing, funny and sexy first person narrative that's an inside look at the journaled life of Fern Burns. Fern isn't your 25 year old damsel in vapid distress, nor is she hard-hearted and waiting to be "broken in" by a man - rather, she's got personality, spunk and adds new life to the genre.

I loved this uncommon, entertaining take on romance, which reads easily and keeps you hooked into the events of Fern's life. There are some seriously steamy moments, too, and they're not cheesy or overdone. This novel is refreshing, to say the least. Romance lovers and writers, take note.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Forty-two Going On Fifteen August 24, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Fern M. Burns keeps a personal diary. She begins a new one each year and this is number forty-two. Though she began this habit at age twelve, and the number is identical to her age, I assume she did a witchy shuffle, and quick scribbled the first twelve. Her short love life was chaotic, or non-existent. She's had a few skirmishes with the sexual playground, but none stuck around. That, in itself, is unusual. She's a bouncy, bubbly daydreamer, overly childish, seems to have locked into age fifteen. Fern lives in Key Largo, professing to love scuba diving, Sun bathing and swimming, though being a transplanted Floridian myself, I see little of the natural native. She works for The Keys Yacht Club (TKYC). This quirky klutz creates hilarious scenarios, fears a few grey hairs down under, dodges skittering crabs (fiddlers or blues), and the foul beaks of obnoxious cursing parrots. Try mayna birds!

Fern seems to have lived a marginal existence. Her views about living in Florida are that of a starry eyed, shallow, self-absorbed adolescent. She dreams about meeting Prince Charming. Along comes that clone, even better than George Cloony! Give me a break, Fern. No one could be wrapped in that banana wrapper!

Since this is my first exposure to Ann Omasta' s writing, I will draw back into my hermit crab shell a bit, giving the benefit of doubt another chance. I understand the need for teen romance, but, maybe she really is fifteen! Oh my gosh, a veritable genius who enjoys writing fictional adventures. Try this authorized peek for yourself. Opinions vary, based on non-experiences, or experience. I can muster a four for humorous intent.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Lighthearted and fun Florida read
I live in Florida so am a sucker for any books that are set here, as we tend to be a hotbed of quirkiness. Read more
Published 1 month ago by TrishFLReader
5.0 out of 5 stars great read would like to read a sequel
One of the best I have read in a long time. Love funny love funny. Hoping to see a follow up.
Published 2 months ago by carol
4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining Escape
I live in central Florida and have never been further south than Miami. This book took me to the Keys and it was like I had been there with Fern. Read more
Published 2 months ago by kathynruss
4.0 out of 5 stars Cute & Sassy
Fern Burns is 42 years old and lives in Key Largo. She keeps journals on everything that happens in her life. She completes one each year, yes she has 42 journals. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Janie D
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Easy Reading,enjoyed it
Published 4 months ago by Karin
5.0 out of 5 stars As a resident of the Keys...
...specifically as a resident of Key West (and a complete freak about such trivial things) it drove me nuts that the author referred to "southERN Florida" repeatedly, when (and I... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Lola of the Keys
4.0 out of 5 stars Written just like a diary and so many entries made me LOL
Written just like a diary and so many entries made me LOL. Glad that I picked this up as a quick in between books read. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Wendy@Eskimobookreviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Laugh-out-loud funny
The Keys to My Diary by Ann Omasta is a cleverly written contemporary literature novel. It is a stand alone novel. I did not anticipate enjoying this book as much as I did. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Xkoqueen
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read!
Fast-paced, fun, and addictive. It's hard to put this book down. You keep saying, "I'll read just one more entry." I love the style the author used. Read more
Published 6 months ago by A. Brantley
5.0 out of 5 stars Charming, Engaging and Quirky Fun
"The Keys to My Diary" is one of those charming novels that sucks you in and takes you on a memorable journey set to the tune of Fern Burns' inner thoughts, hopes, dreams,... Read more
Published 6 months ago by R. Coker
Search Customer Reviews
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More About the Author

These bios are generally rather dry, so I thought I'd shake up the format a little bit. Here are ten not-so-interesting tidbits about me:
1. I despise whipped cream. There, I admitted it in writing. Let the ridiculing begin.
2. Even though I have lived as far south as Key Largo, Florida and as far north as Maine, I landed in the middle.
3. If I don't make a conscious effort not to, I will drink nothing but tea morning, noon, and night. Hot tea, sweet tea, green tea - I love it all.
4. There doesn't seem to be much in life that is better than coming home to a big dog who is overjoyed to see me. My other family members usually show significantly less enthusiasm about my return.
5. Singing in my bestest, loudest voice does not make my family put on their happy faces. This includes the big, loving dog referenced above.
6. Yes, I am aware that bestest is not a word.
7. Dorothy was right. There's no place like home.
8. All of the numerous bottles in my shower must be lined up, with their labels facing out. It makes me feel a little like Julia Roberts' mean husband from the movie 'Sleeping with the Enemy,' but I can't seem to control this particular quirk.
9. I love, love, love finding a great bargain.
10. Did I mention that I hate whipped cream? It makes my stomach churn to look at it, touch it, smell it or even think about it. Great - now I'm thinking about it. Ick!

Books by Ann Omasta -
- Taking Chances: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FCNI42G
- Making Choices: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HE5NBP0
- Chances and Choices: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I1S6H1Y
- THE KEYS TO MY DIARY: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KUX0NAE

I hope you enjoy reading these steamy contemporary romance novels as much as I love writing them. If you like my books, please consider leaving a positive review. Your input makes a difference and will be received with much gratitude!

Stay up-to-date on new releases and insider info by liking / following Ann's social media pages:
- Amazon Author Page: www.amazon.com/author/annomasta
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/annomasta
- Twitter: www.twitter.com/annomasta


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