Behold the first tech-version of "The Onion" (actually, they've been ripping us off for years). Contained herein are all the AcmeVaporware press releases, TorpoPhysical Bulletins, supersecret communiques, meeting notes and general colonic errata associated with a torpo-decade under the influence, to include the latter half of The Roaring Nineties, and on into the crappy and dangerous Force-vector Zeroes, not to mention one BROBDINGNAGIAN run-on sentence that doesn't seem to know when to stop, or where, or how. Phew. As you well know, corporate press releases in general are a big stupid archaic waste of time -- and our corporate press releases are no exception. The TORPOMETRONOMICON represents the ULTIMATE in IT/networking bathroom reading.
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"Brilliant. A tech-Onion! I've soiled myself again and again with mirth -- and more! Hey, ham!!" -- -DICK Cheney; Bunker, USA
"I don't know what this is, but I think it's fabulous! Get it the %&#@ off my desk! Hey, is that ham?" -- -Krikus Reviews
"I don't know what this is, but I think it's fabulous! Get it the %&#@ off my desk! Hey, is that ham?" -- -Krikus Reviews
From the Publisher
Like his singular first novel Banker's Holiday, The TORPOMETRONOMICON deepens Gary Clemenceau's foray into corporate parody. Having created a fictional tech company called "AcmeVaporware (AVW)" back in 1997, The TORPOMETRONOMICON marks AVW's ten-year anniversary with an atomic silo filled with quasi-press releases, TorpoPhysical Bulletins, supersecret communiques, internecine meeting notes, over 100 original psychotronic graphics, and general colonic errata associated with a torpo-decade under the influence -- to include the latter half of The Roaring Nineties and on into the crappy and dangerous Force-vector Zeroes -- not to mention one BROBDINGNAGIAN run-on sentence that doesn't seem to know when to stop, or where, or how. Phew. As you well know, corporate press releases in general are a big stupid archaic waste of time, and these corporate press releases are no exception. They are, however, patently hilarious.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Monty Python's IT dept. meets The Onion on PRNewsWire,
By Athanasius Kircher (San Francisco & London) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The TORPOMETRONOMICON (Paperback)
This book, like AcmeVaporware itself, is one of the most painfully hilarious non-sequitur doppelganger techno-apparitions to emerge from the Roaring Nineties. It's Monty Python's IT department meets The Onion on PRNewsWire in a fission/fusion reactor on meth on crack with a side of ham ("Hey, ham!"). Clemenceau continues to tear out corporate America's porcine, techno-black artificial heart and show the sputtering Jarvik kluge-networking-blob to its robotic victim -- um, in a really funny way. He even manages to lampoon the publishing industry's patented "logrolling" quote machine (see the riotously funny quotes on the back cover, along with the book's rule-breaking marketing blurb). Rampant sloth induction was never so much fun.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
It impacted.com me with its gravitas.com, both humor-wise and insightfulness-wise.,
By Lou Ford (San Diego, CA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The TORPOMETRONOMICON (Paperback)
Brilliant, bizarre, sardonic, hilarious. Imagine Mark Leyner, Thomas Pynchon, and Steve Martin forced to share a brain and work as copywriters and marketeers for an alternate-reality mid-century-retro IBM that somehow finds itself in the 90s.
If you are not dumb, and can read, this book is for you! Enjoy.
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Inside This Book
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Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs):
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purest vapor, profligate amounts, bionic technology, network damage, tiny enterprises, technology arm, transport solutions, network service providers, postal carriers, visible response Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
John Smallberries, John Yaya, Martha Stewart, Data Intensity, Bush Administration, Morvalia Polytechnic University, San Francisco, Morvalia Tech, Silicon Valley, Federal Order, Bose-Einstein Condensate, Dick Cheney, General Moods, Proving Grounds, South Dakota, Oscar Goldman, Peter Coyote, Postal Service, President Frank Burns, Slauson Vacuum, The New Imperialism, White House, Corporate America, Giant Robot Series, Haughland's Mill New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
purest vapor, profligate amounts, bionic technology, network damage, tiny enterprises, technology arm, transport solutions, network service providers, postal carriers, visible response Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
John Smallberries, John Yaya, Martha Stewart, Data Intensity, Bush Administration, Morvalia Polytechnic University, San Francisco, Morvalia Tech, Silicon Valley, Federal Order, Bose-Einstein Condensate, Dick Cheney, General Moods, Proving Grounds, South Dakota, Oscar Goldman, Peter Coyote, Postal Service, President Frank Burns, Slauson Vacuum, The New Imperialism, White House, Corporate America, Giant Robot Series, Haughland's Mill New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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