Customer Reviews

Take Back Your Kids: Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This is one of the most direct and honest books I've ever read about raising children in "turbulent times." The author, William Doherty, gives parents helpful, and sometimes shockng insights into how they have contributed to their children's self-centered, entitled attitudes. As the mother of three kids, I was surprised to see myself on so many pages. But Doherty doesn't stop there. He tells us how we can become more confident and secure parents in a me-centered society. His eleven strategies for expecting and getting respect from our children is indispensible and has already been used with positive results in my own family. Every chapter helped me to see more clearly as a parent and gave me the strength to stay firm with my children when it comes to their responsibility to family, school and society. Thank you, Mr. Doherty for giving me back my kids.

I thought the book was excellent. As a single parent I feel this book will be a companion of mine as I raise my son. How important it is for our children to learn about respect for their parents and their family. I, too, am guilty of some of the mistakes the author mentioned in the book but am thankful that I now have a book to guide the way. We as parents, especially single parents have to get away from the guilt that we feel when we can't provide our children with everything they want. To teach a child respect is an invaluable gift every child should receive.

Let me share a short story about why this book made such good sense to me.

I have two friends, who I'll call Candace and Mary. Candace is the kind of mom who jumps every time her daughter says boo, no matter how demanding or rude the request. Mary, on the other hand, was less 'conscientious.' Her husband was, at times, downright gruff with their kids when they got obnoxious. I always assumed that Candace, because she worked so much harder, was the better mother. Then one day it hit me like a bolt of lightning: Candace's daughter was a whiny, unhappy little girl, whereas Mary's were much happier.

For some reason, many parents of my generation feel we must give our children our constant, undivided attention, must protect them from all forms of disappointment, and never, ever be angry with them. Doherty shows why that's a recipe for disaster. He looks at these misconceptions and gives good, sensible guidance. Probably one of the best parenting books I've ever read.

This is a splendid book about how to stop hurrying your kids, focussing on all the wrong things, and getting back to solid parenting, paying attention to the values that matter. It is funny, intelligent, thoughtful, and a must read.

I wish someone had handed me this book before my first child was born. Dr. Doherty states what many child-rearing "experts" should say, but don't: it's good for kids to have limits, it's okay for parents to expect respect and other contributions to the family from children, and parents have to set the example in showing respect and love for each other and the kids, respect for the family, and an example of what they want their children to become. I can't wait for Dr. Doherty's forthcoming book, "Take Back Your Marriage." "The Intentional Family" is also wonderful and emphasizes the role of family traditions.

This book should be required reading for anyone who thinks he or she wants children. As a parent who feels like she's struggling upstream against a tide of other, more permissive parents, it was a relief to read a book that validates my own approach. As parents struggle to provide a multitude of opportunities for their children, we often lose sight of what our children really need to develop into responsible, caring adults. Dr. Doherty's book quickly sets out what our priorities should be and how we should accomplish them.

This is one of THE best parenting books out there. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Doherty. So insightful, so helpful. A must for all parents. Very easy to read, couldn't put it down, and will be refering to it time and time again through the years. I look so forward to reading his other books.

...in new ways. Highlights the importance of the fact that you can't just care about your own kids' health, safety, welfare. It really does take a village. And the parts about shutting down disrespect, instead of continuinig the conversation...good stuff ("This conversation is over."). Of course, when my mother did that I was LIVID. But that's different: She was an ineffective parent all around, trying to use that tactic. An effective parent using that tool is a whole different story. Reminds you that YOU are in charge, and don't be a wimp. Easier said than done, for sure. He is SO SO SO SO SO SO right about appropriate structure and discipline sending the message "I love you" to kids. My mother was never around (and then had the nerve to be surprised and upset - as did my divorced weekend father - when I got into trouble), so we did what we wanted. As adults, instead of thinking "How cool! We were lucky and the envy of our friends!" my sister and I now think, "Wow, she clearly didn't give a rat's about us."

Mr. Doherty does a wonderful job of helping parents understand why they feel so compelled to register their children for every class, lesson, sporting activity, acting lesson and every other opportunity that is packaged and marketed to families. Understanding that children are not consumers of parenting services, helps us understand that children should be allowed to be children, looking to strong, confident parents for boundaries and values. This book points out that the most important thing in your child's life will not be how many trips to Disneyland you provide, or how many weekends your family gave up to travel with the select soccer team. Rather it reminds us that the best gift parents can give their children is the gift of parents who have a committed, loving relationship, and who are willing to take time to be with their chidren creating strong connections and rituals that make children feel safe and secure. This book does not lay a heavy dose of "family values" on you, rather it tells you that you, the confident parent, are in charge of how your children will grow up. It also helps one to understand that confident parenting will result in your children growing up to be well-adjusted, confident adults. I recommend this for everyone!

Some of the topics discussed in this book

The Consumer Culture of Childhood
Being a Confident Parent in an Insecure World
Activvating Necessary Skills for Effective Parenting
Strategies for Expecting and Getting Respect
Family Time and a Child's Own Life
What's So Important About Gamily Rituals
The Importance of Family Work
Why Anger-Free Parenting Does Not Work
How to Express Anger Constructively
Responsibilities to a Religious Congregation
How to Work as a Team Raising Responsible Children
Father as Consultant on Morals and Social Behavior
How to be an Influential Father
Guidelines and Strategies for Single Parents
Achieving Confident Parenting in Stepfamilies
Unplugging Your Kids: Media & Child Rearing
Resisting the Peer Cultures of Children and Parents