Customer Reviews

Taking Charge of Anger: How to Resolve Conflict, Sustain Relationships, and Express Yourself without Losing Control

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Taking Charge Of Anger is a straightforward self-help guide to learning how to experience and even use anger without letting it take control. Licensed clinical psychologist W. Robert Nay covers how to identify and prepare for common triggers of anger, learning how to dampen anger or identfy and change thoughts that fuel anger, skills for staying cool under fire, establishing new habits for managing anger instead of falling back into destructive old patterns, and much more. A "must-read" for taking back control over one's life, especially for anyone whose temper has cost them a job, a great opportunity, a relationship, or more.

I have been greatly helped by this book. I've read others and had lackluster results mainly because they focus on identifying and classifying issues but fall short when it comes to weponizing the reader with techniques that achieve results.

This text (like some others) begins by drawing the reader in with situational examples mapped to a breakdown of the underpinning anger types. There are self assessments to help guide the reader into better insights. This is further (and nicely) developed in Chapter 4 to give powerful techniques that allowed me address my own particular issues. By the time I completed Chapters 6 and 7 I was actively engaging effective methods that had real positives impacts on my life. The methods used are sensible, easy to apply and effective.

I am a slow reader by comparison to most; however, I believe that I was served well by this. I would suggest reading this book at a pace that allows time to reflect and apply the techniques. It seems logical to me that the process of behavioral change is much slower than the process of understanding my issues, so taking the material in chunks allowed me time to manage these methods in an effective way.

"Taking Charge of Anger" is allowing me to reframe the world in away that I can effectively cope; likewise, I am better equipped to be a more comfortable person to be around.

Good luck on your particular journey.

I found Dr. Nye's book on anger management extremely helpful. The book offers a pragmatic, organized approach to confronting anger that has set my life on a new track. Following the recommendations in the book has helped me not only rethink situations that affect my day, but also better see how situations affect others, and allow me to grow into a more compassionate human being. His ordered approach provides for an immediate improvement in handling anger. Each time I would reach a new roadblock in growth, the next chapter was there to help me reach the next level. In reading the book I found it vital to allow a brutally honest self-assessment in order to reap maximum benefit from Dr. Nye's recommendations - but there was no reason to cheat myself here since it was my life and my relationships that were on the line.

If you have a serious anger problem, buy this book. If you don't think you have an anger problem but can't explain why your relationships are not as good as they might otherwise be, buy this book. If you believe your heritage or your childhood experience is a cause for your problems, buy and USE this book!! Being true to yourself, read and faithfully apply Dr. Nye's book, chapter by chapter. This method works!

I read all the reviews for this book and carefully thought about before purchasing and I must say that this book is a must for anyone who has anger issues. Obviously everyones opinion is different as well as mine is from yours but after finding myself bullying my family for "no" reason I was recommended this book by a friend. After reading it my family has since tried to "push" my buttons and so far has not succeeded in getting me to succomb to the pressure. I would recommend this book and also feel that the other reviews that have been submitted did an injustice for this book but thats where freedom of speech comes in I guess. Good read, Great book, Wonderful info to apply to your everyday life.

I have had a problem with my anger for the past 20 years and Dr. Nay's outstanding treatment of the six clearly defined steps of anger management was incredibly useful in helping me to identify my anger early on and to derail my anger before it gets the best of me. The chapters are easy to understand and logically move the reader from identifying your personal anger profile, to understanding how anger develops, to "dampen" anger arousal and to change the way you think (which is the inner trigger for anger in the first place). Also, Nay covers how to communicate your anger and to defuse another's ire directed to you. If you foul up and old habits reemerge, Nay covers how to get back on track. I highly recommend this book as tremendously helpful if anger has become a problem, or if you are in a relationship with someone who has an anger problem.

Before writing my review, I read the others. Some wrote that this book was the same old, same old, nothing new. The contents may not be altogether new,however, the way Dr. Nay presents the material is helpful.

Over the past five years, I went to numerous counselors asking for help with my angry outbursts and my continued disgust for some peoples behavior. These counselors only offered me handouts.

One counselor provoked me to see how expressed my anger. I caught on to what she was doing. I asked her if she was actually trying to Piss me Off. She said yes. I asked her why. "I wanted to see how you would react." Regardless of her credentials, I immediately stood up and left.

In this book, Dr. Nay states that anger has five basic faces: Passive-aggressive, Sarcasm, Cold-Anger, Hostility, and Aggression. After taking his brief questionnaire in this book, I found that I fit into all five categories at one time or another.

Growing up in The Bronx, New York, I learned to wear many masks in order to survive. Dr. Nay does not offer excuses to continue in my "wild and crazy" behavior. He offers me solution.

If someone truly wants answers to the anger problem, try this book. It is no magic pill. In fact, I leave my copy on my kitchen table and read a few pages a day. I use a yellow highlighter and numerous pens.

After completing my college degree in 2002 at age forty-seven, I had a lot of knowledge, but I did not have a solution for my emotional problems, especially my anger.

In defense of my education, I am using the tools of studying in my approach to this book. Without controlling or taking charge of my anger, my degree will do me little good if I cannot get along with people.

Conflict is everywhere. This book helps with this human problem of communication. Dr. Nay suggests to read the book all the way through; then go back and read it again and this second time do the exercises.

Ever since the invention Carnation's Instant Breakfast in the 60's, it seems many of us expect quick and easy solutions to our problems. In fact, a change in ones personality can take a lot of time, patience, a lot of time away from other activities and a lot of hard work.

My observation has been that although we can easily find ideas and information on the Internet, I do not believe that we can expect lasting change without reading, studying, contemplation, journaling or writing, and practicing new habits of thinking and acting. Improving ourselves is serious business; in fact, anything worthwhile requires a commitment.

If you do not feel like you want to buy this book at first, go borrow one from the library. But, please do not read your borrowed copy with a pen in hand. Before you get through the first two chapters, you will be want to purchase your own copy.

This is an excellent self-help book. Several factors make this book stand out of the multitude of other books on anger management and psychological self-help. The book starts with a relatively short, but serious analysis of the anger phenomenon. The approaches suggested for anger management are very practical and concrete. For example, when the author talks about relaxation, he gives a detailed description of the relaxation technique and suggestions on how to master and practice it. The book presents a whole system for managing anger-provoking situations and for resolving the issues that cause anger in the first place. Many examples are given which are very relevant and serve both to illustrate the author's points and as sources of additional learning.

I think this was a great book. It was a quick read with real life application. The author has spent a great deal of time to make this book easy to read for all levels.

This book lacks any new information on anger management. The book is way too technical for the average reader seeking good sound anger management help. The book lacks in feeling, but is strong on scientic babble. I wanted to learn about myself in the anger process not simply learn more babble about the emotion of anger. I wanted a book to coach me through the process of anger management and not simply "learn" about anger. The book does not deliver what the title says it can.

A book suggestion for those looking for a practical way of looking inside the sould for anger management help is Stop Anger, Be Happy. It is simple, straight forward and guides you along as if you were being guided by a coach.

Before purchasing this book I was hoping to learn something new about this powerful and potentially pernicious emotion. Admittedly, most books on anger tend to be simplistic, repetitive and lacking in depth and Nye's book is no exception. Furthermore, based solely on the cognitive theory, the majority of anger management books fail to take into account the hereditary component of anger, temperament, different personality types and last but not least childhood experiences. Cognitive theorists contend that faulty beliefs and distorted thinking constitute the root cause of depression and anger. I believe that this explanation is flawed because it cannot explain why some people become angry for no apparent reason.

Why do we get angry? According to Mr. Nye, it is because we misinterpret and catastrophalize things that happen to us. We often have unrealistic expectations and once we fail to accomplish our goals we get angry. So far so good but this is hardly a revolutionary finding. Tell me something I do not know! Moreover, we get angry when someone offends us and in some way betrays our trust. We choose how we react to any given stimulus. Notice any pattern here? Allow me to give you a clue: common sense. Now, why do these situations make us lose our tempers? Nye offers no explanation, he simply claims that we must challenge and replace our distorted thoughts. People already know that they must challenge their pessimistic thinking.

How do we control our anger? Nye suggests that we take charge of our lives by being optimistic and by replacing our faulty beliefs with positive and healthy ones. For instance, when someone cuts you off in traffic, do not get angry. When someone offends you do not argue with that person because that will only aggravate matters. I could not disagree more, keeping things bottled up inside is much worse. Even though anger is for the most part detrimental to your health, sometimes getting angry will help you fight injustices.

Even though you will find some useful information in this book, I strongly advise against purchasing this book. If you want to pay for common sense (unfortunately as I did) then buy this book, otherwise look elsewhere.