Taking the High Road : How to Cope With Your Ex-Husband, Maintain Your Sanity, and Raise Your Child in Peace [Paperback]

Nailah Shami (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2000

Taking the High Road offers women advice on dealing with a crazy ex in order to retain sanity and raise children in relative peace and serenity. Author Nailah Shami has been through it all with her ex-husband, who did some unbelievable things after they split up. For the sake of the kids, however, Shami shows women how not to stoop to his level and instead get on the high road. Whether he left the marriage for the next-door neighbor, criticizes your parenting skills, or tries to weasel out of paying child support by saying a friend stole his cash from the freezer, Taking the High Road contains a wealth of useful knowledge for every reader. It is a funny, upbeat, and inspirational guide including everything from loving affirmations to nuts-and-bolts advice on communicating with an ex, collecting child support, and counseling children through the process. The result is a warm, wise, and witty guide that feels like a good chat with a best friend.

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

Are You Ready to Create a More Delicious Life?

Hi! I'm glad you stopped by, and I hope you'll stick around for a few minutes so I can tell you how Taking the High Road can really help you cope with your ex-husband, maintain your sanity, and raise your child in peace.

First things first. I bet you're wondering how I came to write this book.

Well, once upon a time I married a man I thought was sent from the heavens for me to savor until I was no more. Eight years later, after our divorce and an unbelievable string of his uncooperative behavior, I began having dreams about parting his hair with a weed whacker.

By day, of course, I was a good girl, who much to the dismay of friends and family worked very hard to get along with my ex and co-parent in peace. By night, however, in dreamland, my alter ego, was fond of firing up the weed whacker and chasing him around the neighborhood.

Determined to quiet my nocturnal avenger and step deeper into wonderland, I scoured the bookstores for a promising post-divorce tutorial which would teach me how to consistently master my emotions, nourish and preserve myself, keep my sense of humor, and keep my child whole and happy.

I never found that magical book, so I wrote it. And now I want to share the 50 power strategies in Taking the High Road with you so you can recreate your relationship with your ex using wit, mindfulness, creativity, strategic planning (and blatant trickery if the situation calls for it) and get on to the glorious rest of your life too.

To help you master your emotions, I've provided lots of mental-health aids like affirmations, meditation techniques, prayer prescriptions, visualization exercises and role-playing. If you memorize the pages on "Playacting" and "Witnessing" alone, you will quickly have 2 great sanity savers to use the next time you talk to your ex.

To help you nourish yourself, I'll teach you put together pampering routines and lean on your friends for support. Each section ends with a pampering break, but I have no objections to you reading in the hot tub too. As you start your high road journey, it may sometimes seem like you're chugging up a steep hill on a 10-speed bike. Learn to weave, don't skip the TLC rest stops along the way, and bring a friend along for company.

To help you keep your sense of humor, which is essential if you're going to spend extended amounts of time on the high road, I've scattered dozens of my own and other divorced mother's fall-on-the-floor-and-beat-the-rug-funny ex dramas and solutions. Keep the laugh with you as you learn how to put brakes on your bullying ex, collect support, schmooze with your ex's new honey, and much, much more.

To help you preserve yourself, I'll clue you in on the best times to communicate with your ex, guide you through focused "Power Talks" when you want to make a request or share information, stage escape routines when things get too sticky, and regroup after a bad "Ex" day.

To help you keep your child whole and happy, I'll charge you, as your child' s primary role model to set the example. With the help of your Small Thoughts Journal (a private diary to record all negative chit-chat about your ex), whining limits, story-telling and creative visitation send-offs, you'll be able to neutralize your visitation-day angst, simplify your child' s life, talk out their troubles, and build a supportive village around them.

Needless to say, after 6 years on the high road, I no longer have weed whacker dreams. If I wake up in the middle of the night anymore, it's usually because I've rolled over onto my Tickle-Me Elmo doll and set off a stream of giggles for both of us. I have a delicious life and I want you to have one too.

So, read the book, do the work, hug your child, and I'll see you on the high road.

Blessings,

Nailah

P.S. Please write me to share your successes, your transformation, and your breathtaking view from the high road.

About the Author

Nailah Shami is the originator and director of National Get Along with Your Ex Month-an annual July campaign during which ex-spouses take a pledge to behave themselves for the sake of their kids. Nailah and NGAWYEM have been featured on CNN, Fox on Psychology, and several national radio programs, as well as USA Today. Nailah is the divorced mom of a fifteen-year-old daughter named Esprit and lives in Redmond, Washington.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Plume (January 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452281555
• ISBN-13: 978-0452281554
• Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #462,830 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Laughter is the best medicine!, August 2, 2000

By 

A. Person "Bookaholic" (CHICAGO, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Taking the High Road : How to Cope With Your Ex-Husband, Maintain Your Sanity, and Raise Your Child in Peace (Paperback)

I had been searching for the right book to boost my spirits, as well as inform. Most of these books are so technical and boring! No real reasoning as to why I should 'take the high road.' Then, I found just the book: Taking the High Road! This is, very simply, a good book. No holds bar, no bs, just straight-forward, honest help with dealing with an ex that just doesn't want to cooperate. The author doesn't even try to pretend that you want to ever like your ex, just learn to get along with him! That's what I like about the book! I found it very easy to get through, and I found it so entertaining that, for once, I wanted to actually be kind to my ex! I'll keep you posted as to the outcome of my makeover; but in the meantime, you'll do yourself a disservice if you don't buy this book!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars DEAD-ON ADVICE, SCENARIOS AND TIPS, BUT THE LANGUAGE...., September 3, 2001

By 

Lorrie Irby - See all my reviews

This review is from: Taking the High Road : How to Cope With Your Ex-Husband, Maintain Your Sanity, and Raise Your Child in Peace (Paperback)

....can be irritating. She is funny most of the time and does make a lot of valid, humorous points (like on how to elevate yourself by overcoming your ex's stupid remarks/ attempts to hide the cashflow/ bad habits, how to help the kids through, etc.) that make the book invaulable, but the wording makes her sound like she wants to be another Iyanla. If you, like me, prefer a straight-forward approach, then read "Single Mamahood" by Kelli Willams and save "High Road" for the more serene, spiritual moments when you have time for all the lists, mantras, mediation exercises, candles, visualization, etc, etc, etc.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars The best Christmas present ever!, January 17, 2000

By 

Cree Williams (Maryland) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Taking the High Road : How to Cope With Your Ex-Husband, Maintain Your Sanity, and Raise Your Child in Peace (Paperback)

My mom ordered this book for me over the holidays and I finally got it last week and read it almost non-stop for 3 days. What I love most about Taking the High Road is the author's outrageous sense of humor and hands-on guidance.

I've been divorced for 3 years and my ex is the original jerk. He shows up late to pick my son up all the time. He pays child support late. He's made these past few years crazy for me. Taking the High Road has great ideas for regaining control of my life, so my jerky ex doesn't have his way, and I'm having fun trying them out. And so far, knock wood, they're working.