Tales from a Texas Christmas Tree Farm [Illustrated] [Paperback]

Darrell Bain (Author, Illustrator)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 1999

Every year millions of Christmas trees are purchased from choose-and-cut Christmas tree farms. When suburban families load up the kids, grandma, grandpa and all the pets and take off with a complete lack of knowledge of what they're getting into, you have all the ingredients for some hilarious stories.What could be so tough about planting and watching Christmas trees grow? That's what Darrell thought when he came up with the idea of getting rid of the long-horns and planting a forest. Join Darrell and Betty as they move to the country and find city and country cultures sometimes clash in unexpected ways:

- picture a toddler crawling into a tree baler and coming out wrapped up for Christmas...

- there's more than the scent of pine in the air when Darrell hires his nubile young niece to help the "boys" load cars in the parking lot...

- consider what happens when you introduce an enthusiastic Spanish-only speaking laborer to electric shears with instructions to just "take a little off the edges"...

- if you color-code the price stickers on the trees and your staff doesn't admit they're color-blind...

- and more than you ever thought you could possibly know about growing trees... After twenty years in the business, Darrell looks back on this unique, demanding, exasperating, frustrating but ultimately rewarding profession -- the reward comes from the customers, especially the kids, as families search out that perfect tree. His stories are are heart-warming anecdotes, well-sprinkled with irony and down-home humor. A great, side-splitting laugh of a book you will enjoy reading any time of the year--and you'll never look at a Christmas tree the same way again!

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Darrell Bain really lives on a Christmas Tree Farm in Texas. He has been writing fantasy, fiction, humor, mysteries, non-fiction, romances, science fiction and thrillers for over a decade and has previously published a novel and short stories. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 128 pages
• Publisher: Authorhouse; illustrated edition edition (December 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1585004391
• ISBN-13: 978-1585004393
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,851,284 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I have read about 20,000 books in my lifetime, much of it science fiction but history, mystery, war, popular and historical fiction as well. I also write and have a variety of books published in print and as e-books. I like to write humor and adventure/mystery/science fiction/suspense/thriller novels and short stories. I have worked in the medical field, am a Vietnam Veteran and currently live and write in east Texas where my wife Betty and I owned a Christmas tree farm until two years ago. I like to correspond with fans and can be reached through my web site, www.darrellbain.com We have two dachshunds that I've written about. I currently have about fifty books in print.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW, June 6, 2003

By 

Shirley Priscilla Johnson "Author/Reviewer -... (USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Tales from a Texas Christmas Tree Farm (Paperback)

When I first received this book, I was not particularly looking
forward to the read. After all, how exciting could a book be
about a tree farm? I sat down to do my duty as a reviewer and I
was in for a delightful surprise!

Darrell Bain took me on a journey of continual giggles, as he told
the tales of their Christmas Tree Farm. Who wold have ever
imagined that so much adventure could be found there? Not I!
He tells you in many different delightful stories the different
aspects of tree farming and the adventures they have with all
the customers each year.

If you want a joyful Holiday read, this is the one for you.
It might just make you glad for the profession you have chosen, I
never realized how difficult it was to grow a tree! Excellent read, well worth your time.