Talk Before Sleep [Hardcover]

Elizabeth Berg (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 12, 1994

What do women talk about when they know they don't have forever? They talk about what they have always talked about, only they go deeper and more honest: with outrageous humor they try to mitigate pain. Intimate and uncensored sharing, the kind of connection women prize, is at the heart of this deeply moving novel about the grit and power of female friends.



Ann and Ruth have always talked as only great friends can--honestly, and about everything: husbands and marriages, sex lives and children, their work, their hopes, their disappointments, and their dreams. For Ann, cautious and conventional, her closeness to the outspoken and eccentric Ruth brings about discovery and liberation, a chance to say whatever she wants, and, most important, under the insistent tutelage of Ruth, to become herself. Over the years, the women have shared recipes, quilting patterns, child care, delicate and dangerous secrets. Each rests secure in the knowledge that they will be friends forever. Then something happens that will change their lives forever, and the women begin to share something more profound than either of them might have predicted.



Written with an unerring ear for how women talk, laugh, and cry together, and with a gift for capturing the uniqueness of personality, Talk Before Sleep is sure to find a place in readers' hearts.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Because it is rendered with such clarity, authority and feeling, Berg's novel may cause readers to forget that this story of a woman's death from cancer is fiction. Berg's ( Durable Goods ) depiction of a sisterhood of women banding together to succor a friend is never falsely sentimental. Accurately observed details and honest descriptions of the body's frailties make the narrative gripping and immediate. But intensely real characterizations, outrageous black humor and graceful prose are what render it memorable. Narrator Ann Stanley, a nurse who loves her young daughter and husband but sometimes hates the institution of marriage, recognizes a soul mate when she meets Ruth Thomas. A talented artist, Ruth is mercurial, outspoken, fearless, charming, charismatic. When she leaves her caustic, icy husband and (regretfully) her teenaged son, she is eager to embrace new experiences, to find love and artistic fulfillment. Instead, she is sidetracked by cancer, which she fights gallantly, even into its terminal phase. Ann and several other devoted friends spend days and nights by Ruth's side, helping her to die. Berg writes candidly--if ultimately a bit too schematically--about the bonds between women that transcend the male-female relationship. A celebration of intimate friendship as well as a cry of grief, this book is a weeper, all right, but its effect is cathartic.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From School Library Journal

YA-A painful, gripping story about two best friends, Ann and Ruth, and Ruth's ultimate death of cancer. While the outcome may be tragic, the telling is lyrical. The women met when they both were in their late 30s, and for the 4 or 5 years of their friendship, Ann has been the follower and pupil to Ruth's exhilarating and thought-provoking leadership and teaching. Ruth has forced Ann to examine her comfortable life with her husband and child by her example of freedom and independence. She seems to be everything Ann is afraid or unable to be-beautiful, artistic, appealing to both sexes, and self-confident. Her love life thrives and her times with Ann provide excitement and challenges. When Ruth is diagnosed with terminal cancer, Ann, once a nurse, becomes the mainstay of the small group of women who surround their friend, but feels little in common with them. Much of this brief novel focuses on the interplay among these characters as they all try, each in her own way, to do her best for Ruth. Readers realize, along with Ann, how important relationships can be, and how important it is to communicate feelings and be honest. Ruth is the catalyst for self-discovery on the part of each of the figures, and her own discoveries are satisfying. This is a beautifully realized story and so well written that mature YAs will gain insights and strength from it.
Susan H. Woodcock, King's Park Library, Burke, VA
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 210 pages
• Publisher: Random House; 1st edition (April 12, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 067943299X
• ISBN-13: 978-0679432999
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (118 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #806,084 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Elizabeth Berg won the NEBA Award for fiction for her body of work, and was a finalist for the ABBY for Talk Before Steep. Her writing has appeared in numerous publications, including Ladies' Home Journal, Redbook, and the New York Times Magazine. She has also taught a writing workshop at Radcliffe College. She lives near Boston, Massachusetts.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This isn't a quirky read about cancer, March 2, 2001

By 

Busy Mom (Ohio) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Talk Before Sleep (Paperback)

Most books about women dying of cancer tends to be melodramatic, but not this one. Elizabeth Berg takes you on a journey between two best friends as one of them embarks on her final journey for life. Annie and Ruth became the best of friends after meeting each other at a party. When Ruth was diagnosed with breast cancer, Annie learns the meaning of love and letting go while Ruth handles her dying with grace and humor.

This is a book I would definitely recommend for friends to give to one another. Elizabeth Berg knows how to write about women ~~ how they talk, eat, live and gossip among themselves. This is a treasure about friendship. Men don't understand the connection women feel for one another ~~ how we need to laugh and cry during life's most stormiest times, and how we need our friends' love and friendship as well. Berg does a wonderful job drawing the readers into the private lives of the characters ~~ and you don't feel that you are standing on the outside either. You're drawn to Annie because of her nurturing, caretaker nature, and you're drawn to Ruth like a moth to a flame ~~ full of life and laughter.

If you haven't read this book yet, I would suggest you do so soon. Breast cancer is still the number one killer among women and though this book doesn't really talk about cancer itself, it does talk about love, friendship, survival and death. It is a book to treasure ~~ to pass on between friends, mothers and daughters.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A helpful and painful, but ultimately wonderful book, February 9, 2000

By 

Dawn Lease "travellady" (Boston) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Talk Before Sleep (Paperback)

After reading some of the negative reviews, I must wonder if the reviewers have ever lost a close friend to cancer. I lost a close friend two years ago to breast cancer. She was 43. This book, which I read about the time Sally, and another friend, were diagnosed help me so much during the time I, and other friends rallied around to support and help her.

What helped me the most about this book was the different reactions and ways that the different friends wanted, and could, help. Not everyone who cared for Sally could do the same thing, but we all loved her, and wanted to help her. We all had varied opinions of her progress, prognosis, what she should and shouldn't do about her family, etc. This book help me to realize that it is okay for people to feel differently about supporting and caring for a sick friend.

I suggested this book to many of my friends who were affected by Sally's illness. I gently mentioned several times during our discussions about Sally (we still have Sally get togethers to talk about her)that it is okay to feel differently about the things Sally, and we, were going through. That no one person was right or wrong, and that we all have the right to our ideas about how to deal with this devastating issue.

I am thankful to Elizabeth Berg for writing a moving story of friends dealing with a good friend's illness and death. I appreciate that some of the characters were not likable because, truly, that is the reality of humans. And, as her book shows us, sometimes we are unlikable because we are hurting, and in emotional or physical pain.

Just like Ann's family, my family too lost my care and attention at times. My times with Sally were sacred to me, and I changed my schedule to suit hers. But, this sacrifice is a real one many of us would make, and our own families can cope just fine.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Runs the entire gamut of cancer, August 3, 2001

By 

"janmcalex" (Humboldt, TN United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Talk Before Sleep (Paperback)

From the diagnosis, to the denial, to the intimidating medical lingo, to the fear and unknown of dying, "Talk Before Sleep" is one of the most realistic pieces of fiction that I have ever read.

Beautiful, glowing, take-no-prisoners Ruth lives to the fullest. And then the unthinkable -- breast cancer, surgery, chemo and the exhausting fight to survive, a war waged not only by Ruth, but by her friends, Ann, Sarah, L.D., and Helen. Told through Ann, we see Ruth slowly deteriorate as the cancer spreads and she must face death head-on. This is a soul searching book that asks questions we would all benefit from considering. The questions go beyond the theological into the realm of self-examination. How have I lived? What would I do differently? How do I want to die? Am I living every moment? Ruth's pain is well expressed, but so is the pain borne by her friends. We see the agony and denial, the reality and the fear that the four women who love Ruth the most must endure as they try to support and ease Ruth in her final days.

This book is not just a depressing look at a painful death. It is a celebration of a beautiful woman who enjoyed life and squeezed what she could from it to the very end. It's also about the legacy and the spirit we leave behind. I confess I cried, something only two other books have been able to cause.

Very well done!