We live in a time when kids of all ages are bombarded with age-sensitive material wherever they turn; "sexting" and bullying are on the rise at an increasingly younger age, and teen moms are "celebrified." What is a concerned--and embarrassed--parent to do? With wit, wisdom, and savvy, Deborah Roffman translates her experiences gleaned from decades of teaching kids and parents, and as a mom, into strategies to help parents navigate this tricky terrain. Talk to Me First is for any parent who wants to become and remain the most credible and influential resource about sexuality in their children's lives.
Talk to Me First
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Sex educator Roffman…encourages parents to “stay ahead of the media tsunami” and take their rightful place—partnering with schools—as the “go to person” when it comes to educating their kids about sex. For Roffman, human sexuality is the “richest, deepest, and most extensive” subject there is, and one can clearly sense her joy and exuberance in addressing her subject. But, she says, many parents are fearful and squeamish about talking with their kids about sex, which leaves the topic up to media outlets, advertisers, merchandisers, and others who are engaged in the “adultification” of children, without their best interests in mind. Roffman stresses that talking to kids about sex in a “sensible, normal and matter-of-fact” way is the goal, but first parents must overcome their own fear of using the words and talking the talk. She suggests that parents don a metaphorical “five-piece suit” and get to work, addressing five core issues of affirmation, information, clarity about values, setting limits, and anticipatory guidance. Roffman’s frank and vibrant pep talk will give parents the inspiration and tools needed to tackle the subject of sex with their kids.
Review
Kirkus Reviews, 7/15/12
“An informative, helpful guide for parents contemplating how to talk to their children about the birds and the bees…In utilizing this important guide, parents can reclaim the sexual education of their children instead of surrendering it to the influence of misguided media advertisers. Roffman’s cleareyed text and non-clinical delivery makes the slippery slope of sex education less daunting.”
Metro New York, 6/26/12
“A guide to ‘the talk’ in the 21st century.”
“A guide to ‘the talk’ in the 21st century.”
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Gave values and detailed information on how to talk with your child. Used it too when my 8 year old asked what the machines in the bathroom stall in the gas station where dispensing. I didn't do the run around, I explained and she had good questions.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By M. Simon
Format:Paperback
One of the most frustrating and scary things about parenting adolescents is how quickly (and often imperceptibly) things change. What worked for your pre-teen or teen last week doesn't work this week. The knowledge you had a couple of months back about who your son or daughter's friends are is, in a moment, found to be inaccurate. What felt before to your son like kind, caring interest now feels like intrusion. "But I thought you liked (fill in blank)..." rapidly becomes an indictment of your own lack of getting it. "Getting it" is a somewhat mysterious thing that happens when your child (of any age) feels that you are engaged and close enough to them to make an accurate guess about who they are or how they might feel, now. But it doesn't happen without your teen, especially, feeling that you can be asked about, (semi-respectfully) argued with, and probed for your own opinions and values. Your teens want to know what you value and will use that information (gleaned more from what you do and how you do it, than from what you actually say) to figure out their own similar and unique values that form their sense of identity.
If your teenager and pre-teen can ask you questions, express their own thoughts and have them listened to without a whole lot of judgment thrown in--while at the same time you provide sound information in a reasonable, calm way--you're on the way to "getting it." When you "get it" your kids will share more with you about what really matters and ask you about the things that really matter. Your kids will be safer, make better choices and manage the risks of adolescent more smoothly.
Lest you think "getting it" is an elusive quality that cannot be taught--like being cool--it isn't.... Read more ›
If your teenager and pre-teen can ask you questions, express their own thoughts and have them listened to without a whole lot of judgment thrown in--while at the same time you provide sound information in a reasonable, calm way--you're on the way to "getting it." When you "get it" your kids will share more with you about what really matters and ask you about the things that really matter. Your kids will be safer, make better choices and manage the risks of adolescent more smoothly.
Lest you think "getting it" is an elusive quality that cannot be taught--like being cool--it isn't.... Read more ›
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Deborah Roffman is a much acclaimed sex educator. I too am a sex educator. This is an absolutely excellent book for parents. She covers all the bases -- a terrific book for parents.
By David Hall
Format:Paperback
Thank you for this book that every parent needs to read. This is filled with practical information that is easily accessible to all parents. What a treasure - I am certain that it will strengthen my ability to talk with my children.
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