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The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates Paperback – April 25, 1986


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The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates + People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts + PeopleSmart: Developing Your Interpersonal Intelligence
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Touchstone; 1st Fireside Ed edition (April 25, 1986)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0671761552
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671761554
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #163,770 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Paul Swets mentors business owners and has served as a teacher, seminar leader, and pastoral counselor. His doctoral degree from the University of Michigan is in the field of rhetoric, the study of effective communication. Paul lives in Memphis with his wife, Janiece. They have two married children, four grandchildren, and have enjoyed more than forty years of marriage together.

More About the Author

Paul Swets enjoys helping people find fullness in life. His most recent book is MULTIPLY HAPPINESS--Tools for Friendship, Connection, Purpose, and Hope. Abingdon Press will release the book on October 15, 20015.

Paul's doctoral degree from the University of Michigan is in the field of rhetoric, the study of effective communication. Based on that research, his first book, THE ART OF TALKING SO THAT PEOPLE WILL LISTEN published by Simon & Schuster, has sold over 130,000 copies.

DREAMING BIG, co-authored with executive coach Bobb Biehl, has been translated into Spanish, Korean, and Hindi.

Paul lives in Holland MI with his wife, Janiece. They have two married children, four grandchildren, and have enjoyed over 40 years of marriage together.

Customer Reviews

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I recommend it to friends and family.
shopAholic
There were a lot of great nuggets of information, as well as an organized flow to Paul Swets' writing.
Laurie Roiger
Instead, this book gives wonderfully useful advice on how to communicate with people.
Dr. Thomas W. Mckeown

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

102 of 105 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 19, 1998
Format: Paperback
I feel a need to write a review of this book for two simple reasons: Number one is that it has had a profound effect on my life regarding my self-image and effectiveness in dealing with others, and number two, it will do the same for you. The bonus is that just by learning the information presented by Dr. Swets, it will also have a tremendously positive impact on those you love as well.
The title gives a hint (yet can't possibly do justice) to the actual wisdom and teachings contained in the book. Obviously, most people, because they are talking, feel as though they are also communicating. But that's not so. Just hearing you or me talk does not necessarily mean that the other person is "listening." And unless they are listening, what you and I say will not have much impact. A key to personal success is talking so that the other person not only will listen, but be inclined to take your point of view as well. This is true regardless of whether one is dealing with spouse, small and teenage children, friends, neighbors, employees, employers, customers, prospects, or that person you may meet just one time in your life.
I love what Dr. Swets says on page four: Communication that wins a positive response from others can provide you with a new way of life. Nothing is more essential to success in any area of your life than the ability to communicate well. Nothing can compare to the joy of communicating love, of being heard and understood completely, of discovering some profound insight from another's mind . . . Self-concepts are enhanced, attitudes broadened, beliefs depended, perspectives clarified, hopes restored, frustrations dissolved, hurt feeling healed.
Although much of what Dr.
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54 of 54 people found the following review helpful By "modestominnesota" on October 31, 2003
Format: Paperback
The art of talking so that people will listen help you (1) establish goals to improve (2) understand and improve in communicating (3) provide strategy for persuasive communication.
Having read other similar books, I'd say this one was very helpful. This book would probably be of little value to experienced communicators, because it covers basics. Which is good for beginners, it is short. You really must practice what you learn from the book in order to improve, not just read it. To help you better understand what's in the book, here are some topics.
1) Eliminate negative commutation habits
2) Learn the art of listening
3) Discover how communication works
4) Win peoples attention
5) Develop the courage to say no
6) Establish respect when talking to kids
7) Create closeness with people you care about
8) Dissolve discord
9) Persuade people to cooperate with you
The most helpful chapter for me was on perusing people to cooperate with you. He rightly stated that most people resist change unless they can see its resulting benefit. So he provided five steps for achieving cooperation. (1)Attention, (2)Comprehension, (3)Belief, (4)Retention, (5)Action. I enjoyed reading his explanation and suggestions for each step. I believe they are right on target.
He tells us to set goals to our communication so that our speech won't be left to habit or impulse of the moment, he then proceeds to tell you how and why. Because he says that people pick up clues not only from voice, but from our actions, our facial expressions, and tone of voice.
Another really good and helpful chapter was on listening. If we don't know how to listen, our communications will suffer. And so here too he talks about five level of listening.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Dr. Thomas W. Mckeown on March 8, 2007
Format: Paperback
I expected cliches. Instead, this book gives wonderfully useful advice on how to communicate with people. I found it wise, profound, easy-to-read, and packed with practical steps to improve listening. I have taught a listening course for years. Paul Swets' book taught me about many techniques that I did not already know. It also taught me how to listen much better than I had been doing--although I was already a trained mediator. More than that, it taught me a lot about how to be a better human. I recommend it strongly to anyone who teaches communication, or who simply wants to communicate better. Enjoy!
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By J. Lisiecki on October 1, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book is an excellent all around communication book written for the person just entering the business world, the seasoned professional, parents, or simply anyone that would like to become a better communicator. It's fairly large font size and smaller book format make it very easy to read.

The book covers literally everything from the very basics of communication to effective listening and even includes a section on communicating with children! I was impressed with many of the real life examples given in througout the book that most of us can relate to. The type of examples used made it very easy to relate the topic of discussion to my own personal life and apply the concepts with confidence.

I have noticed a difference in the reactions of people I am trying to communicate with when applying the techniques spelled out in the book. If this book was required reading in High Schools I believe we see much improved parent-child relationships and a more effective new work force due to improved communication.
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