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103 of 106 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome lessons in positive communication
I feel a need to write a review of this book for two simple reasons: Number one is that it has had a profound effect on my life regarding my self-image and effectiveness in dealing with others, and number two, it will do the same for you. The bonus is that just by learning the information presented by Dr. Swets, it will also have a tremendously positive impact on...
Published on December 19, 1998

versus
4 of 14 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not especially helpful for me
I really do not know why people thought so highly of this book. It seemed to me that there are more effective books on communication such as Cialdini's.
Published on March 25, 2009 by Bunny


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103 of 106 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome lessons in positive communication, December 19, 1998
By A Customer
This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
I feel a need to write a review of this book for two simple reasons: Number one is that it has had a profound effect on my life regarding my self-image and effectiveness in dealing with others, and number two, it will do the same for you. The bonus is that just by learning the information presented by Dr. Swets, it will also have a tremendously positive impact on those you love as well.
The title gives a hint (yet can't possibly do justice) to the actual wisdom and teachings contained in the book. Obviously, most people, because they are talking, feel as though they are also communicating. But that's not so. Just hearing you or me talk does not necessarily mean that the other person is "listening." And unless they are listening, what you and I say will not have much impact. A key to personal success is talking so that the other person not only will listen, but be inclined to take your point of view as well. This is true regardless of whether one is dealing with spouse, small and teenage children, friends, neighbors, employees, employers, customers, prospects, or that person you may meet just one time in your life.
I love what Dr. Swets says on page four: Communication that wins a positive response from others can provide you with a new way of life. Nothing is more essential to success in any area of your life than the ability to communicate well. Nothing can compare to the joy of communicating love, of being heard and understood completely, of discovering some profound insight from another's mind . . . Self-concepts are enhanced, attitudes broadened, beliefs depended, perspectives clarified, hopes restored, frustrations dissolved, hurt feeling healed.
Although much of what Dr. Swets teaches will show you how to live life with a minimum of personal 'hassles' with others (in other words, 'prevention'), he also includes a brilliant chapter dealing with "Conflict Resolution" for those occasions when conflicts do occur, as they inevitably will. The fact is, there are times when conflict and misunderstandings will take place. When that happens, there needs to be a positive, win-win solution. Dr. Swets provides this in a simple-to-understand- and-apply fashion. Reading that one chapter will ensure that you'll never again have to feel as though a conflict with anyone in your life cannot be worked out. It is simply magnificent information, and worth many, many times the price of the book itself.
I feel I could write volumes just on what I learned from this book, however, I'd rather you purchase the book yourself and learn from it first hand. Let's put it this way: The venerable Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, in a very complimentary Forward to this book, put it wonderfully well when he wrote, .. . a book that outlines procedures of communication with the completeness of Dr. Swets' study becomes a working manual that can be invaluable. And I do not know of a book that more comprehensively covers the entire subject of communication. Moreover the author himself communicates in a clear and understandable manner . . . He knows how to write so people will understand, how to talk so people will listen . . .
And may I add one more note? In all the classics dealing with communication and people skills (and The Art Of Talking So That People Will Listen ranks right up there with the classics) such as How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, How To Have Confidence And Power In Dealing With People by Les Giblin, as well as those on general success such as Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, the great authors all teach in terms of "universal principles", natural laws that have stood the test of time and will transfer from situation to unique situation. Yes, techniques change from time to time, but principles never do. The principles taught by Dr. Swets will work for you, your children, your grandchildren, etc. I could not personally give this book a higher recommendation.
Bob Burg, author of WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION and ENDLESS REFERRALS.
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55 of 55 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars very helpful book, I recommend it, October 31, 2003
By 
"modestominnesota" (Modesto, CA United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
The art of talking so that people will listen help you (1) establish goals to improve (2) understand and improve in communicating (3) provide strategy for persuasive communication.
Having read other similar books, I'd say this one was very helpful. This book would probably be of little value to experienced communicators, because it covers basics. Which is good for beginners, it is short. You really must practice what you learn from the book in order to improve, not just read it. To help you better understand what's in the book, here are some topics.
1) Eliminate negative commutation habits
2) Learn the art of listening
3) Discover how communication works
4) Win peoples attention
5) Develop the courage to say no
6) Establish respect when talking to kids
7) Create closeness with people you care about
8) Dissolve discord
9) Persuade people to cooperate with you
The most helpful chapter for me was on perusing people to cooperate with you. He rightly stated that most people resist change unless they can see its resulting benefit. So he provided five steps for achieving cooperation. (1)Attention, (2)Comprehension, (3)Belief, (4)Retention, (5)Action. I enjoyed reading his explanation and suggestions for each step. I believe they are right on target.
He tells us to set goals to our communication so that our speech won't be left to habit or impulse of the moment, he then proceeds to tell you how and why. Because he says that people pick up clues not only from voice, but from our actions, our facial expressions, and tone of voice.
Another really good and helpful chapter was on listening. If we don't know how to listen, our communications will suffer. And so here too he talks about five level of listening.
Bottom Line: If you are interested in improving your communication, this is a very good book to start with. I was not disappointed with this book, but its not all that great to receive 5 stars. One reason is because there are some good information missing in this book.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A wise book on listening, March 8, 2007
By 
This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
I expected cliches. Instead, this book gives wonderfully useful advice on how to communicate with people. I found it wise, profound, easy-to-read, and packed with practical steps to improve listening. I have taught a listening course for years. Paul Swets' book taught me about many techniques that I did not already know. It also taught me how to listen much better than I had been doing--although I was already a trained mediator. More than that, it taught me a lot about how to be a better human. I recommend it strongly to anyone who teaches communication, or who simply wants to communicate better. Enjoy!
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent communication book, October 1, 2007
This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
This book is an excellent all around communication book written for the person just entering the business world, the seasoned professional, parents, or simply anyone that would like to become a better communicator. It's fairly large font size and smaller book format make it very easy to read.

The book covers literally everything from the very basics of communication to effective listening and even includes a section on communicating with children! I was impressed with many of the real life examples given in througout the book that most of us can relate to. The type of examples used made it very easy to relate the topic of discussion to my own personal life and apply the concepts with confidence.

I have noticed a difference in the reactions of people I am trying to communicate with when applying the techniques spelled out in the book. If this book was required reading in High Schools I believe we see much improved parent-child relationships and a more effective new work force due to improved communication.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars To Good....!!!, January 9, 2010
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This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
When I first started reading the book I was concerned of how my speech was, but when I started reading the pages I have seen progress in my speech. Such as, kwnoing exactly how others feel if I say something in a certain way & how they would feel if I say it diffrent. The way you say things could make it positive or negative, its the same meaning but in a diffrent wording! The crazy thing is that I am not even half way done with this book & already improvement! Recommend it!!!!!
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18 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I've read on communication, April 26, 2004
This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
"The Art of Talking so That People Will Listen" offers great insight and practical tips and language skills to use in building and strengthening your relationships. I have used this in course content I develop and it is always received very well. I recommend this book for anyone who wants to sharpen their verbal and written communication skills.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THE MOST HELPFUL BOOK THAT I HAVE READ ON THE SUBJECT AND I HAVE READ A LOT OF THEM., November 17, 2011
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This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
I have had this book for about 20 years. I recommend it to friends and family.

I have no desire to take advantage of or intimidate anyone and am not interested in reaching the top of the career ladder. But, neither do I want to be intimidated, disrespected, dismissed when I need to stand up for myself.

After reading this book I found that I was able to walk into a store without a receipt many times and return items for a refund by just pleasantly and patiently asking specifically for what I wanted. I learned to resolve conflicts and difficult situations without becoming angry or too demanding.

This book teaches you how to be cool and ask for what you want with respect. There is also a chapter about establishing respect when talking to kids.

Talking to people is an art that can be learned. Some people never seem to get what they want and are entitled to get, and others go thru life making demands, even bullying and they also get less than what they expect.

Another thing I like about this book is that it is only 188 pages, including index, yet, everything I needed to know is there.

My pet peeve is 400 and 500 page books. The bigger the book the bigger the price and who has time to sort thru and find what is really helpful? Look out for the new editions of some books that are padded with time wasting information. Think of your most boring teacher in school! SNORE!

I think this book is hard to put down and I think it changed the way I relate to people for the better. FIVE STARS!
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding, May 20, 2009
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This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
This is the best communication book I ever read. It covers a lot of topics. You need to read it slowly to enjoy the arts of writing that Paul demonstrated in the book. Every word is put in the right place.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How much this book saved my life, October 6, 2013
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This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
I enjoyed learning how to comunicate better through this book. I only ordered it because of certain comunication breakdowns I have expierienced in many of my family relationships throughout my life and now trying to parent a teenage son I ralized I may need some extra help, so with all the exercises and information in "The art of talking so that people will listern" I have not only become a better comunicator with my son but also with my partner and at work I am even up for a promotion now .
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommend, June 20, 2011
This review is from: The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates (Paperback)
Learning how to ask questions, earning the right to be heard, and giving a list of conversation starters are some of the highlights for me of this book. There were a lot of great nuggets of information, as well as an organized flow to Paul Swets' writing. I appreciated that he did not belabor points, but explained things well and traveled quickly on to the next nugget of good information. I took quite a few pages of notes so that I can review the top highlights as needed.
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The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen: Getting Through to Family, Friends & Business Associates
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