Talking In The Dark (Push Poetry) [Paperback]

Billy Merrell (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2003 | Series: Push Poetry

PUSH continues to break new ground with this remarkable poetry memoir of growing up, coming out, and exploring love.

This is a memoir that is lived in moments. The moments you know - when you see your parents' marriage dissolving, when you realize you're a boy who likes boys, when you speak the truth and don't know if it will be heard. The moments you don't recognize until later - when you leave things unsaid (even to yourself), when you feel your boyfriend letting go, when you give up on love. And the moment you get love back.
In an amazing narrative of poems, Billy Merrell tells an ordinary story in an extraordinary way.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 9 Up-An affecting memoir told in verse, this work launches a promising young poet. It is more than the recollection of faltering family life; it also deals with Merrell's acceptance of his homosexuality. It is about sons and brothers, friends and lovers. The individual poems enhance one another yet stand alone. The language is measured, doled out carefully, artfully. He writes about his mother: "She's known, she'll say, since I was five/and I'll want to ask why/she didn't tell me sooner, but instead ask/if she's okay." Memories of when he and his father almost speak of his closet homosexuality, and when the moment passes are related in poignant phrases. The poems reveal the author's journey through childhood through the worrisome pit of teen sexuality, made all the more harrowing when a lover dies of AIDS. He silently carries around his fear for ages. He writes, "Admitting/the danger is a danger in itself." This memoir is as difficult as it is beautiful. Merrell writes, "Years later I'll wonder how I didn't know I was lonely when everyone around me did." His sophisticated verse and compelling story will capture attention as it stirs compassion.
Alison Follos, North Country School, Lake Placid, NY
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Gr. 9-12. Merrell has packed a lot of memories into his 22 years: his parents' divorce and remarriages ("I was seven, and remember you loving each other, then not"); realization of his homosexuality ("You sort of know. In that vague way you know you want to write or paint"); and his own failed and new relationships. He has also packed away a lot of wisdom about life, death, self-acceptance, and the vagaries of love and lust. Likewise, he has honed his writing craft, and his free-verse memoir is rich with metaphor, words carefully chosen to say enough but not too much. In one beautiful poem, for example, he alludes to death as that first terrifying jump off the diving board: "Is that what Heaven is like--four seconds and a splash?" Talking in the Dark captures 22 lonely yet hopeful years in a life readers will hope will be a long and productive one. Frances Bradburn
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Push; First edition (October 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0439490367
• ISBN-13: 978-0439490368
• Product Dimensions: 0.4 x 4.9 x 6.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #396,183 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #12 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Literature & Fiction > Poetry > Gay
  • #26 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Nonfiction > Coming Out

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The first gay book I've related to. Life-changing. February 20, 2004

By "mich8988"

Format:Paperback

I'm a lesbian. I'm 20, not really a teen. But a friend told me about Billy Merrell's TALKING IN THE DARK because she knew I loved poetry, and it has since become one of my favorite contemporary collections. And not only that, but I found in Merrell a place to feel comfortable. Not only because I'm gay and so is he, but because he happens to be gay, and so do I. He is so wise for his age. My mother is reading it now, and that is what she told me.

The poems are smart, emotional, revealing. Merrell strips his life down to amazing, telling lines that left me wanting it to go on and on. I've read it twice already and am taking my time reading it a third time now, and there's always something new and beautiful to find in the rereading. My favorite poetry is personal, careful, and spiritual (not religious, necessarily, but intensely in touch with the world). That's what the poems in TALKING IN THE DARK are like.

If you know someone, anyone, who reads poetry, this is a book that will affect them, always.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars amazing January 23, 2005

By Alana S

Format:Paperback

i read "talking in the dark" over a year ago and it has still stuck with me. even though this memoir is told through poetry, it is very easy to read and understand. you can really relate to what merrell has gone through. this book is definately an amazing undiscovered gem. i highly recommend it.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars why isn't it in more stores!? my favorite book! February 26, 2005

A Kid's Review

Format:Paperback

~*AMAZING*~ My girlfriend loved TALKING IN THE DARK and MADE me read it, which I don't usually do. She said I would like it because I like poetry, which is sort of true lately. But it took me months to find it in a store before my mom bought it online for me... since I don't have a credit cared, duh. But it's great. I haven't read anything like it before. And my girlfriend likes me to read her parts, especially SHHH and HISTORYS. Guys, buy this book for your girlfriends (or boyfriends).

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars best book EVER!!! January 25, 2007

A Kid's Review

Format:Paperback

I read this book the first time a few years ago, and not I think I have read it about 5 times total. It is the one book I could keep reading and never get sick of! Awesome story with poems that make you giggle and poems that made you sad. Highly recommended!!!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars AMAZING. The most Spiritual poetry book I've read! October 24, 2005

By Dana G

Format:Paperback

The thing that a lot of people sometimes forget about poetry is that when it's good, the poems become a part of your soul. Poems lift you up when you need lifting and bring you down when you need grounding.

And this book is like that. Billy Merrell is a true poet and has the soul of a wise, wise man. And yet he's only 21! Amazing.

The poems here may be about homosexuality and family struggle, may contain drug use and have moments of sexual description, but Merrell knows that the poems aren't REALLY about these things. Instead, they are about transcending one's own childhood and one's own adolescence in order to find sanctuary in the spirits of our ancestors.

I can't recommend this book enough. Like 5 of my friends have borrowed my copy and have insisted they have their own. It's the kind of book you want to have propped up near your bed so you can read it just before you go to sleep.

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Touching life experiences with surprising vulnerability February 14, 2005

By Jonathan Appleseed VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

I'm a little confused as to this book's classification as YA. Sure, there were sections that dealt with his childhood, but the most straightforward, poignant, and powerful poems were those that dealt with very mature topics: specifically, *after* he graduated from high school.

Some of the poems, particularly those dealing with his friend Ben and the dissolution of his relationship, are very touching. Some are a little confusing, and I found myself backtracking to figure out who was being referred to in the poem, what the topic was, and its relevance in that particular place. Poetry, it seems, is intentionally misleading at times, and I find that to be an annoying characteristic.

That said, I myself have a wealth of experiences from elementary, junior high, and high school that are ripe for writing, as they are devastatingly powerful. In my own writing classes and seminars, teachers have literally begged me to write about them, rather than the "typical" YA that I'm working on, which is more fantasy based. The problem was, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't want to write a straightforward story, because the format just didn't seem right. This book has given me some insight onto how to put my experiences onto the page. So for that - I'm greatly indebted. (Especially if I get published. <grin>)