Tall Tales with Short Cocks Vol. 1 [Kindle Edition]

Adam Millard (Author), Arthur Graham (Author), Nathan J.D.L. Rowark (Author), Wol-vriey (Author), John McNee (Author), Dominic O'Reilly (Author), Gabino Iglesias (Author), Robin Wyatt Dunn (Author), Jon Konrath (Author)

Book Description

Tall Tales with Short Cocks is a collection of the weird and the weirder, each story guaranteed to inflate your inner chode to the very limits of its (albeit limited) imagination. Zombies, clockworks, and rabies-infected assholes! An anthology of Bizarro Fiction that will have you thinking "WTF? I gotta read what happens next!"



FEATURING STORIES BY:




Arthur Graham

Adam Millard

Jon Konrath

Robin Wyatt Dunn

Gabino Iglesias

Dominic O'Reilly

John McNee

Wol-vriey

&

Nathan J.D.L. Rowark




Bizarro Press: It's not horror, it's not sci-fi, and best of all, it's 100% YA paranormal FREE!!!

Product Details

• File Size: 389 KB
• Print Length: 154 pages
• Publisher: Bizarro Press (April 18, 2012)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B007VQE1BA
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Not Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #437,332 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars No cocks, but good writing May 9, 2012

By Richard Derus

Format:Kindle Edition

Rating: 3.5* of five

The Book Report: Nine short to middlin'-long tales covering most of the bases in that latest attempt by the young to épater le bourgeois (aka their parents and the dreary little yup-yups who act the way their parents do) that goes by the label "bizarro."

Srsly y'all we did this in the 60s and 70s. Never heard of R. Crumb? Heavy Metal magazine, with its torture porn comics? But I digress, and uninterestingly.

My Review: My pervy old man-ness was instantly snagged by this title. Well, really, anyone who has read my reviews and commentary should not be surprised by that. So what the hell, download to Kindle for three bucks, why not?

Heh.

Arthur Graham's piece Zeitgeist made the burned-by-TV guy in me chortle way more than is seemly in a graybearded grandfather of three. It gave me a giant happy and fulfilled a revenge fantasy. Good on ya, AG!

Regressive caused actual physical pain from (self-directed) laughter. Mr. Rowark...we will have words...not many of them will be nice. Some of them will have only four letters. The good news is that at least one of them will be "love."

I Am A Whale was cute, and amusing, but "prose poetry"? Blank verse, more like, and a little of that goes a LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNG way.

In the Flesh is billed as "steampunk noir," though I'm more down with noir than with steampunk as a descriptor. This piece, though, makes me want to read more by John McNee because it's got that...something...there's an imagination at work here, overtime perhaps in this work, but with some bitch-slapping editing, this one's a breakout author waiting to happen.

The other tales in the collection are just fine.... They don't rise to the level of my call-outs, in my never-very-humble opinion, but believe me when I tell you that I never once wanted one of them to be over sooner than it was, and with bizarro, that is *really going some.

That's why I recommend the book to the reader with a hankerin' to go over the line, over the top, and out of bounds. Fuddies will duddy over the worty dirds, and the squeamish will squirm until their squirmers are sore; they probably won't pick the book up; and I say that is a darn shame, because these writers aren't out to SHOCK! SCANDALIZE! OFFEND! you, they are telling you old stories from a new angle, and doing it with a verve and an attitude that is, dear goddesses only know, refreshing and invigorating. One day, this will be the ground from which the midcentury Stephen King will rise. Read it now. We're still gonna be around. Best to get used to it now.... Read more ›

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars No Roosters Were Harmed! June 27, 2012

By R. Roeske

Format:Kindle Edition

This book absolutely does not contain any roosters or chickens. What it does have is a collection of Bizarro tales. For me, they ranged from Eh to WOW!

IN THE FLESH by John McNee

A Steampunkish-Noir involving clock work people and a hotel made of flesh. A good story to start off with. I quite liked it.

HELP MY A** HAS RABIES by Adam Milliard

If OUTBREAK took place in a fast food restaurant with a more ridiculous disease. This is more like early Bizarro, gross and juvenile. Not my favorite type.

ZEITGEIST by Arthur Graham

A parody about pitching a pilot to a bunch of really deranged BOX TV executives. This one was clever, and the first story to WOW me.

ZOMBIES OF KILIMANJARO by Jon Konrath

A bitter writer slowly turning into a zombie, and having various flashbacks about how he got that way. Not Bizarro, more horror, it doesn't bring anything new or refreshing to the tired zombie troupe.

I AM A WHALE by Robin Wyatt Dunn

A very short story involving a whale ranting at the city of San Francisco. It was cute.

YAPPY THE HAPPY SQUIRREL by Dominic O'Reilly

A small group of people aided by a telepathic watermelon Messiah named Abulu Shul, take down the war-hungry Mr. Yappy. I liked it.

MOUSETRAP by Wol-vriey

An unhappy wife/mother grants a clockwork mouse a reprieve if he helps her with her screwed up life. Involves winged negro arm delivery, a man turned into swiss cheese, bookworms in people's heads, coin eyes, blood drops turning into grass and crabs, taking news casters out of the tv, cat-fruit trees and weird ways to die. This tale was the second to really impress me. Wol-Vriey is definitely an author to pay attention to!...

REGRESSIVE by Nathan J.D.L. Rowark

Basically, a tale of a old people taking a miracle drug and it's horrendous side effects. Not too bad, I didn't get into it.

NIGHT OF THE WALRUS by Gabino Iglesias

Odobie Walrus asks his cheese-beer swilling friend Woogie to help him deal with a Donkey whore saloon owning baby ganster, and a the horrific Lovecraftian gangster called Two-Slice. Also starring, a cat that incessantly sings Frank Sinatra-style christmas music. The third impressive tale. Gabino Iglesias KNOWS Bizarro!

Bizarro Press is off to an excellent start. I look forward to their publications. Read more ›

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A** Rabies May 19, 2013

By Christopher Rhatigan

Format:Kindle Edition

If you dug Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens, Tall Tales with Short Cocks is for you. Two of my favorite stories in here were an old-school noir-bizarro story about a hotel made of flesh--in a world of people made of granite, of course. The a** rabies story is hilarious and as weird as it sounds. This is far out fiction at its finest.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Wow, that was random... May 23, 2013

By K. Tepe

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is seriously one of the most random collections of random stories I've ever read, which makes this particular anthology a pretty fun and amusing read. All of the stories were fun reads, but the most memorable for me were "In the Flesh", which was a grotesque but intriguing concept, "I Am a Whale", and "The Night of the Walrus", both of which are incredibly random and great for that mere reason.

Two-Slice? I was like "I GET IT!!" seriously laughing out loud in my bedroom. Great job, guys. I look forward to the rest of the collection.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Your bizarro cock with grow May 20, 2013

By giggs

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

A decent collection of stories featuring the absurd and irreal typical of bizzaro works, where comedy and horror merge into the same entity. The collection starts strong with my favorite story 'In the Flesh' by John McNee featuring a living in the flesh hotel that can out-fetish its inhabitants. Also features a great story 'Zeitgeist' by Arthur Graham with a writer learning the nonsense on the inside of the cable television industry as he pitches a story to executives. A good intro to bizzaro, but some stories weren't as strong as I expected, but I've heard good things about volumes II & III so I'm reading on.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars an amazing amount of imagination and vitality, fun May 12, 2013

By D. S. Atkinson

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I really had fun with this anthology. These stories have an amazing amount of imagination and vitality. I enjoyed some more than others, but they were all a lot of fun to read. I still feel fairly new to bizarro literature, but I felt right at home with these stories.