Taming Marital Arguments: Breaking Out of the T.R.A.P. [Paperback]

Robert P. Rugel (Author), Sandra L. Ceren (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1, 2010

What happened since the honeymoon?

Are you mad at your partner all the time?

Do you feel like your partner is selfish?

Do innocent conversations suddenly escalate into arguments?

Does your partner misinterpret what you say?

Do you feel emotionally distant from your partner?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, this book was written for you!

For more than 40 years, Dr. Rugel has observed how quickly spouses feel disregarded in marriage and respond in a manner that upsets the partner. Their tranquil interactions then spiral into an unpleasant argument or into emotional distancing. Based on concepts from family systems theory, Dr. Rugel guides the reader through the process of recognizing and avoiding these destructive patterns, thus helping to bring the relationship back to harmony. In this book you will:

Learn why spouses get stuck in repetitive, useless arguments.

Explore why your partner might perceive you as the enemy.

Discover the behaviors that commonly threaten our partners.

Determine what you need to work on to improve your marriage.

Conquer your own defensive/self-protective tendencies.

Recover the friend and lover your partner used to be.

Therapists' Praise for Taming Marital Arguments

"Dr. Rugel offers a thoughtful and practical approach to acknowledging, assessing, interrupting, and redirecting destructive patterns of marital communication while honoring the dignity of the individual by respecting past life experiences which influence each partner's underlying beliefs, assumptions, and thought processes."
--Holli Kenley M.A. MFT, author, Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering The Peace Within

Get Your Ticket Back To Marital Bliss! Learn more at www.BobRugel.com

From Loving Healing Press www.LovingHealing.com

FAM030000 Family and Relationships : Marriage
PSY041000 Psychology : Psychotherapy - Couples and Family
PSY010000 Psychology : Psychotherapy - Counseling

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Loving Healing Press (June 1, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1615990194
• ISBN-13: 978-1615990191
• Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 9.2 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,575,208 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Robert P. Rugel, Ph.D.grew up in suburban Philadelphia and currently lives in Northern Virginia. For over 35 years, Dr. Rugel has worked with individuals and couples in his clinical practice. He has also taught courses in clinical psychology and marital therapy at George Mason University where he is now an Emeritus faculty member.

Dr. Rugel is always looking for effective ways to help individuals and couples improve their lives and their marriages. He will continue to work, write, go to the movies with his wife, and in his spare time pursue his quest to become an average golfer.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Marital Dynamics Exposed and Tamed, September 30, 2010

By 

Sam Vaknin (Skopje, Macedonia) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Taming Marital Arguments: Breaking Out of the T.R.A.P. (Paperback)

Marital arguments are symptoms of the deep-set malaise that grips the vast majority of marriages only a few years into these onerous and unnatural arrangements. This book is one of the most level-headed looks at nuptial discord. It offers, in equal measures, compassion, unflinching observation, and practical advice, all wrapped in a thorough investigation of why erstwhile lovers, mates, and partners turn into hateful, inanely bickering enemies. Like their political counterparts , marital arguments are bitter and uncompromising precisely because they pack a wallop of emotions and common history. The book first disentangles the web of expectations and self-deceit that underlie conjugal contracts and then proceeds methodically to unravel the intricate network of wounds and triggers that give rise to fights and shouting matches in marriage.

The book proceeds from an overview of self-feeding and self-reflecting marital dynamics to an exposition of the role in the bond of the psychology of the partners, especially if they are bent on avoiding a repeat of earlier traumas and pain. A variety of emotions, counter-emotions, traits, and behaviors contribute to the breakdown of communications and, consequently, of marriages. The author does a superb job of analyzing them all and, thus, demonstrating why partners are sometimes perceived by their nearest and dearest to be threatening and subversive rather than nurturing and supportive. To sidestep such pitfalls, the author advocates enhanced self-awareness and self-administered behavior modification and provides the tools to accomplish these goals. The book is most helpfully interspersed with examples of arguments and fights between couples and how to resolve them productively as well as questionnaires and tests.

"Taming Marital Arguments" is proof that a book should never be judged by the number of its pages. It packs into its slender spine more punch and value for money than many a thickset textbooks about couples and their communication problems. An absolute delight! Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited".