Customer Reviews

The Tao of Dying: A Guide to Caring

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3 star:		(1)
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I found this book at the hospice where my mother died just two days ago and immediately began recommending it to anyone who would listen. Being a practicing Buddhist familiar with the Tao Te Ching, it spoke to me immediately, echoing my "allowing" attude toward my mother's impending death. This book reaffirmed my intention to make my mother as comfortable as possible while not struggling with events which cannot be stopped. When my mother's nurses and friends commented on my strength and balance during this difficult time, I pointed them toward this book.

I found this book with black and white photographs of the dying; old and young; and caregivers -- to be beautiful; but perhaps beautiful is not even the right word. wise beyond the words even though the words were used. i found it to be tao.

"flexibility makes no sense
until you know the dangers of rigidity
laughter seems foolish
until you know the dangers of seriousness.
touching is rarely considered
until you know the dangers of distancing.
allowing has the appearance of uselessness
until you know the dangers of controlling.
the soft overpowers the hard.
the slow outdistances the fast.
let those who question, question."

and 163 more pages of meaningful life and meaningful death...for caregivers who care for people without trying to change or cure them --- "wei wu wei" -- "doing by not doing" accepting people, things, and processes for what they are without trying to maniupulate, alter, or control them

This lovely book is full of such good information beautifully written that I wish everyone would read it. The writings would be helpful for all for daily life as well as those tending their loved ones.

I purchased the Tao of Dying as a health care professional looking for insights and lessons from a taoist perspective, something I have found helpful in my work in the past. While the book professes to approach the subject from a Taoist philosophy, that wasn't what I found when I read it. Rather, the text approaches the subject from a Judeo-Christian perspective with sometimes not so subtle references to good vs bad, right and wrong, defiling and love. While the book may speak to some and help in their work, it really doesn't do justice to the possibilities that Taoism brings to seeing and knowing the dying process. I would welcome a truly Taoist writing on dying. I would challenge the author to go beyond his current version and explore the deeper meaning of Taoism.