Customer Reviews

Tarzan the Ape Man [VHS]

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(12)

 

 

If you grew up in the early 80s, it was hard to ignore Bo Derek. She was everywhere. On talk shows, posters and magazines - and mostly unclothed. These two films represent her true arrival on the scene. She had made a minor splash as the gal who gets her leg bit off by "Orca," but who can rememeber a pretty woman in the wake of a Killer Whale rampage? But who can forget Bo bouncing on the beach with her hair in beads? "10" was one of those films that you conspired to sneak into at the multiplex. And it was the reason some of us put up with irritating guys so we could get a second shot of seeing it on HBO (or was it Showtime?). Bo was hot and the rest of the movie was there for the old people.

Tarzan, The Ape Man was Bo's attempt to turn her star power into cinematic gold. She wasn't merely going to be an actress, she would produce "Tarzan, The Ape Man" along with her husband John directing. And it's not that bad of a Tarzan film - with the great John Phillip Law (Danger Diabolik) and Richard Harris along with Miles O'Keeffe as the Ape Man. And in order to keep people sitting in the theater until the last frame of the film runs through the projector, Bo remains topless for the end credits - don't cut this DVD off early.

The only other DVD that you need to truly lust for Bo's glory days is "Bolero."

I wouldn't recommend these films to someone who doesn't have a lust for Bo. But the price of this double feature is just right for me to put it on my guilty pleasure shelf - and I do have one.

Beautiful Bo Derek (as Jane Parker) embarks on an erotic jungle adventure to West Africa to find her estranged explorer father (Richard Harris). Along the way she meets up with the handsome and extremely buff title character (Miles O'Keefe). The locations (Sri Lanka) are almost as gorgeous as Bo, and the photography (courtesy of John Derek) is equally breathtaking. I enjoyed this film, despite the campy script and preposterous story. It is a silly adventure that shows all the interactions between this sexy jungle duo that usually happened behind the palm trees. I liked the fact that Jane Parker was portrayed as a liberated and independent woman (even though it's supposed to be 1910). I think that Bo's performance (despite the critical backlash) was spirited and appealing. The late Richard Harris seems to overact a bit in his role as the demanding expedition leader, and his constant bellowing gets old after a while. Also, the incestuous overtones make some scenes uncomfortable to watch. Miles O'Keefe is a wonderful Tarzan (how did that tiny loincloth stay on anyway?). This DVD adds the previously edited "controversial" scenes that were missing from the cinematic and video release! (And yes, a chimpazee really does kiss Bo's nipple in one innocent moment) The only "extra" in this DVD is the original theatrical trailer. For those who admired that famous leather bikini that Bo wears in the promotional posters and DVD cover, you'll be dissappointed - as she never wears it on camera. When this movie was first broadcast on network T.V., she wore it during the closing credits during a beautiful walk on the beach with Tarzan and C.J. the famous movie orangutan. I prefered this ending to the semi-nude wrestling romp that accompanies the closing credits on the DVD. This is a great film, and the picture/sound/music quality transfer to DVD is great. Bo's star may have faded in the following decades, but I still remember waiting in a very long line at the theater to see the perfect "10" swing with Tarzan...

When Bo Derek emerged from Blake Edwards's hit 10 as a cornrow-sporting sex symbol, she and her Svengali-like mentor John Derek--who'd been, at one time, a wooden movie pinup himself--decided that together they'd "create" Bo's subsequent starring vehicles. This collaboration resulted in a trio of Bad Movies To Love, including the 1981 Tarzan, the Ape Man. "Produced" by Bo and "directed and photographed" by John, Tarzan reduced Edgar Rice Burrough's far-from-classic work to the level of a magazine spread on a Playboy bunny in the, er, bush.

Richard Harris, an explorer in deepest, darkest Africa, is expecting the next boat to deliver a cannon, but instead he receives bombshell Bo, playing his long-estranged daughter. Her thespian skills had not improved one whit since her first Bad Movie with Harris, Orca, but blank-eyed Bo clearly hadn't a clue. "You first-class b--tard," she says to Harris, mistakenly believing that the dreamy, "I've-just-had-the-most-fabulous-orgasm" look on her face could possibly be interpreted as anger. Bo's utter ineptitude is made all the funnier by Harris's response, which is to ham it up to the skies--and beyond. When Bo leaves his welcoming party, Harris says to his mongrels, "She didn't find me a pretty sight. Do you think I--overdressed?" We fully expect one of the dogs to reply, "No, you--overacted."

Bo takes command of this soft-core extravaganza by doing what she's best at: stripping off her Banana Republic-style wardrobe to swim--well, perhaps "bob" is the more accurate term--in that ocean surf rarely seen in films set in the middle of the Dark Continent. Bo in the buff brings around Miles O'Keeffe, a very buffed Tarzan, and just when it seems that this comely pair might turn the movie into a hard-core porn flick--which would've been a big improvement--Harris literally runs into the frame, screaming at his safari aide (Bad Movie vet John Phillip Law), "Make camp, make camp, make camp!" It's hard to imagine how the flick could be any campier. One night, hearing Tarzan's patented yell, Harris bellows back, "Shut up, you boring son of a ...!"--the very thing that the Dereks should have told Harris. Bo instead calls Harris a "b--tard" again, prompting this reply: "I am. I wallow in me. I indulge myself 100 percent. Take my advice, dear, do the same thing." As if the notoriously self-indulgent Dereks weren't already way, way past the 100 percent mark!

After O'Keeffe saves Bo from a riotous slow-mo encounter with a rubber snake, his unconscious body gets carried away on the tusks of an obliging elephant as Bo, panting with lust, follows along. Grimacing while picking at her teeth (apparently to suggest that she's thinking), Bo eyes O'Keeffe's physique and says, "I've never touched a man before..."--a howler that's topped when these two go swimming. "I feel like I'm reading this in a book," Bo exults, as if she could read. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry or just turn to the next page!" It all ends, as we'd hoped it would, with local savages forcing a nude Bo down on all fours. "They're washing me," she cries, in one of our most favorite Bad Movie lines ever, "just like a horse!" O'Keeffe rescues her--but it was too late to save her career.

I remember watching the trailer for "Tarzan the Ape Man" and be so impressed by the shot of a half naked figure on an exotic beach. To this day I think that shot of Miles O'Keeffe as Tarzan, rising majestically from his crouch, is the single most impressive shot in a Trazan film in the history of the world. The problem, of course, is that despite the title this 1981 film from director John Derek is supposed to be showcasing his wife, Bo Derek, who plays Jane. You would think that have a great looking Tarzan in a Tarzan movie would be a good thing, but he ends up being only secondary eye candy in this film.

Granted, "Tarzan the Ape Man" is a legendary bad film, but it is the sort of bad film that you really have to see to believe. You can have a lot of fun laughing at a movie. In terms of Tarzan films this goes back to the Johnny Weismuller approach; actually, it goes beyond, because this Tarzan says absolutely nothing, which would be the Elmo Lincoln approach I guess. More importantly, he looks like if he had to go hand-to-hand with a great ape he would end up standing at the end (compare him to Christopher Lambert in "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan," which is still the film version that best embodies the original Edgar Rice Burroughs novel).

The big irony here is that if Bo Derek said nothing the film would be greatly improved; the problem with this film is not so much the visual images as the lousy dialogue (this is symbolized by the fact that the film begins with Tarzan's yell replacing the roar of the MGM lion in the opening credit). Bo shared the Razzie Award for Worst Actress with Faye Dunaway in "Mommie Dearest"; this film might have been bad but it managed to avoid winning any other awards, leaving those honors (or lacks thereof) to the likes of "Heaven's Gate" and Klinton Spilsbury in "The Legend of the Lone Ranger." Richard Harris plays Jane's father and tries gamely to bring some dignity and intelligence to the film, but Bo's babe in the woods act keeps bringing the film crashing down (when she starts crying about getting painted white near the end of the film is when I lost it).

I had a friend who insisted that this was supposed to be a comedy, an outright spoof, and that nobody should be taken it literally. I have to disagree. They thought this was going to be a more sensual version of the Tarzan story, more like "The Blue Lagoon" for grown ups than anything else. However, the black & white films that Weismuller made with Maureen O'Sullivan in the early 1930s during the pre-Code era are still the sexiest Tarzan films ever made. As Bo Derek amply proves in this film, there is such a thing as showing too much skin. The rating for this film has to do with its unintended entertainment value and not its quality. Again, there are simply some films in the Bottom 100 of all time that you have to see to appreciate why they have found their appropriate place in cinematic history.

Bo Derek was the Edsel of film-making. While hubby/producer/Svengali, John Derek , was sure that the movie going public, and the world in general, was going to worship his latest puppet/goddess, the public decided otherwise. This movie is easily one of the worst ever filmed. There are bad movies that can still be unintentionally funny and entertaining, (See my review of "Valley Of The Dolls"), such as any campy "B" movie you might see on "Mystery Science Theater", but this filming of the Tarzan tale is just plainly, leadenly, drudgingly awful. Even if something is very beautiful, if you stare at it long enough, it becomes boring. In this flick, it only takes a few minutes to get past Bo Dereks catatonic beauty, until you're bored into a stupor. She may have improved her acting skills since the filming of this movie (she would have had to), and, in recent interviews, she seems to have matured into a nice, thoughtful lady. But back then, there was not a thespian bone in her lovely body, and though hubby John thought she could carry the film, it was not to be. The script is so awful, that there are a few unintentionally humorous lines. And, though there are times when covering ones teeth is appropriate, watching Bo trying to sensually eat a banana (one can almost see hubby-director John off to the side, getting all hot & bothered as he coaches her), it is only stupidly hysterical as she appears totally toothless during this scene. Luckily for the hunk who played the Ape Man himself, he has not a line of dialogue to distract from our Bo on screen, and apparently he had the sense to retreat into oblivion after this films release. Richard Harris probably just went for broke, and acts insane. Compared to this movie, watching any of the old Johnny Weissmueller versions is like watching Olivier. I guess this movie is worth a one time look, at the very least to film students, on how to avoid self-indulgence, cliches, and, boring an audience to death. Or, pop it in if you're having trouble sleeping...in minutes, you'll be snoring away!

This 1981 retelling of the Tarzan legend is done through the eyes of his sweetheart, Jane Parker(Bo Derek), as she searches for her dad in Africa, she encounters the Lord Of Apes, and quickly falls in love. The best parts of the movie for me was Bo swimming and bathing in the nude and Bo, wearing only a loincloth, playfully wrestling with a monkey at the end of the film. This DVD is for anyone who ever loved Miss Derek. :)

John Derek's "Tarzan the Ape Man" is a strange movie. In Maltin's Movie Guide, Leonard Maltin says he almost felt he needed to devise a rating below "BOMB", his lowest rating, in order to rade "Tarzan the Ape Man".

So, is it really that bad? Not really. Is it good? Not really. Is it worth watching? Definitely.

First of all, the movie is not so much about Tarzan as about Jane, and her relationship with her estranged father, explorer James Parker. Great actor Richard Harris plays James Parker and Harris gives us some of the most hilarious overacting you'll likely to see in a long time. The drama part of the story, the relationship between Parker and Jane, is laughable, because the dialoge is so silly and because of Harris's absurd acting. Other examples of Harris's overacting is when, at night, they hear Tarzan yell in the distance, and Parker screams "Oh, shut up, you bo-oring sonuvabitch!"

Jane joins her father's expedition and before long, Jane meets Tarzan, when he saves her from a lion while she's taking a bath (one of several bathing scenes whose main purpose is to show Bo Derek with no clothes.

After a while Jane meets Tarzan again, after he saves her from a snake. He fights the snake in what may be one of the worst "action" scenes ever filmed, in slow motion and double exposure, so we don't see what happened. Anyway, Tarzan gets injured and Jane tries to nurse him back to consciousness with the help from an elephant and some chimps, while saying things like, "I've never touched a man before, but I like it. I like it very much". Later, Tarzan wakes up and she continues talking to him, even though he obviously doesn't understand English. For some reason she says "Do you know you're more beautiful than any girl I know?"

Later, when Jane is reunited with her father and his troupe, they're abducted by some strange natives who strip Jane naked and start painting her white. Jane asks her father to tell her a story so she can think of something else while this is going on and he starts spouting something like "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.... All the kings horses and all the kings men...." It's extremely absurd and has to be seen to be believed.

So, the movie is fun, although it could have been slightly shorter for better pace, but it definitely deserves to be a cult turkey. And those who want to see Bo naked won't be disappointed. But whatever everyone else says, I do think she's also a quite decent actress. Miles O'Keeffe plays Tarzan, he doesn't have much to do, but he's sure nice to look at.

Recommended for fans of Bo and fans of strange, funny "bad" movies.

This is one of the worst movies ever! It seems to just have been an excuse for the actress and her director husband to show off her naked body!

Many actors have portrayed the ape man over the years, but none with the sexuality that O'Keeffe brings to the role. This movie has often been lamented as being the worst Tarzan movie in the bunch, but I diagree. In my opinion, O'Keeffe has the most "tarzanesque" features and portrays the ape man with a modern spin despite the Derek's keeping him mute. But who cares with that body and tiny loincloth? It seems ashame that we have a perfect ape man in an admittedly less than perfect story. Imagine how good this movie could have been with a proper screen play? If only they would have put O'Keeffe in another Tarzan movie--it's just not. Anyhow my advice watch Tarzan the Ape Man for Miles O'Keeffe and his incredible body.

Geez!...I like Bo Derek,she's a total stunner but man that Miles O'Keeffe,WOW! .The story was,I suppose,was loosely adapted from the original Burroughs,but what a twist.I have to say both Derek and O'Keeffe looked just perfect together but that Tarzan in that tiny little loincloth was almost too much to handle,the body,the face,the hair not to mention the tan and the fact he does not utter one word throughout the entire film makes it even hotter.True the film is a shocker in the storytelling department but the fact is the two leads are just superb,the cinematography is lush and the music dramatic so,in my mind these things more than compensate for it so,in my book,as a gay man it rates right up there as a real erotic film without the obvious cheers!