Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink [Hardcover]

Jeff Johnson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 14, 2009

A behind-the-scenes tour of the fabled tattoo industry on the arm of a swashbuckling insider and natural-born storyteller.

In the eighteen years he’s been a tattoo artist, Jeff Johnson has worked on everyone from nervous young coeds who turn green at the sight of his needle (chudders) to cocky would-be artists with fancy design degrees and weak constitutions (night hogs). As the proprietor of the legendary Sea Tramp Tattoo Company, he’s inked gangbangers, age-defying moms, and sociopaths; he’s defused brawls, tended delicate egos, learned to spot and avoid bunnies, and made it his mission to perpetrate ingenious and awful practical jokes on his fellow Trojans. He’s a true swamp panther: He knows all the tricks of the trade and, more important, he knows how to keep his legendary shop in Portland, Oregon, from becoming the scene of a nightly bloodbath.

In Tattoo Machine, Johnson lifts the curtain on an art form that has undergone rebirth and illuminates a world where art, drama, and commerce come together in highly entertaining theater. A tattoo shop is no longer a den of social outcasts and degenerates–it’s a workshop where committed and schooled artists who paint on living canvases develop close bonds and bitter rivalries, where tattoo legends and innovators are equally revered, and where the potential for disaster lurks in every corner.

Discussing everything from his days as an apprentice to some of the greatest inkers in the trade to the incredibly vivid nightly spectacular over which he presides, Jeff Johnson has written a sometimes riotous, sometimes harrowing, and always riveting memoir about what it means to be on the front lines of a global art revolution.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Katherine Dunn Reviews Tattoo Machine

Katherine Dunn is the author of three novels, Attic, Truck, and Geek Love, which was a finalist for the National Book Award. Read her guest review of Jeff Johnson's Tattoo Machine:

The topic is prickly, but Tattoo Machine is a charmer. Jeff Johnson is a sharp-eyed master tattoo artist, and an extraordinary writer. His own remarkable story of up-from-under redemption weaves through this engaging, gritty, and meticulous examination of the shadowed art of personal symbolism. As co-owner and manager of the famed Sea Tramp Tattoo shop in Portland, Oregon, Johnson has 18 years of hard-won insider knowledge. He presents that expertise with lyrical prose, savage humor, and enormous compassion. In the process he documents a seismic shift in cultural attitudes.

Thirty years ago, when I first started looking at tattoos in a serious way, skin art was commonly associated with criminals and drunken sailors. Cops assumed any woman with a tattoo was a prostitute. There were artists and mystics who flaunted the outlaw aura of their tattoos. But there was also a secret world in which engineers, business tycoons and surgeons hid elaborate tattoos beneath their suits and scrubs. A prim, strict trauma nurse of my acquaintance took years to complete the storm of Japanese plum blossoms that whirled around her torso. Only her closest friends knew what she considered her true identity.

Now, that secret world has exploded into the light. More than half the working adults in the United States casually sport at least one tattoo. Johnson gives us not just the why but the how of this transfiguration. He provides an entertaining dictionary of tattoo lingo, and a primer on what to look for and what to avoid in shopping for a tattoo. He explains what’s going on in the needle, the mind of the artist, the skin of the tattooed, and the back room, basement and latrines of the tattoo shop. He tracks the rapid evolution of the art and the fierce rivalry of different schools of design and technique. And he does all this with vivid characters, mesmerizing human tales-within-tales, and plenty of scabrous shenanigans. Tattoo Machine is informative, intelligent, and beautifully written. Marked or un-marked, the reader comes away with wiser, more generous eyes.—Katherine Dunn

From Publishers Weekly

Tattoo parlors are showcases for the socially disreputable, the brazenly nonconformist and the indelibly creative, all on display in this colorful memoir. First-time author and veteran tattoo artist Johnson has a million tales of the tattoo demimonde, who come to his Sea Tramp in Portland, Ore., as well as tattoo shops around the country. Into his shop walk scamsters and freaks; a gangster whose gun-toting posse rattles Johnson into misspelling their boss's tat; a punk femme fatale who lures him into a trap; and a probable serial killer who has the names and Social Security numbers of his victims emblazoned on his skin. Ruggedly individualistic artists are part of the show, as is Johnson himself: œI have no shoes and no driver's license and I've been smoking gooey Mexican heroin and snorting piles of coke off a switchblade for three days straight, opens one tale. (In a grungy management primer, Johnson offers tips on customer service, employee relations and the importance of bathrooms so clean that œsome daisy-assed pantsuit could feel safe and secure in them.) The book is little more than a collection of shaggy-dog stories, but Johnson's stingingly profane prose, storytelling chops and offbeat sensibility definitely get under the reader's skin. (July 14)
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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Spiegel & Grau (July 14, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0385530528
• ISBN-13: 978-0385530521
• Product Dimensions: 5.7 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (79 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #831,809 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining, funny, suprising..., May 28, 2009

By 

Kristine Hale (Utah) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

It would be easy to dismiss this book as another attempt at cashing in on the current "ink" craze, but Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink, isn't so easily set aside.

Written in staccato, dark, punchy language that reminds of Anthony Bourdain or maybe even a little Chuck Palahniuk, Tattoo machine isn't an expose of the industry or even a straight-forward memoir. Instead, it is something hovering somewhere in between, peppered as it is with advice, a guide to the lingo of the tattoo world, and stories - some the authors own and some that are not - that will grab you. I found myself reading this book as I ate lunch and sneaking it in during breaks from work, a sure sign that a book is an enjoyable read, and this one is.

Jeff Johnson doesn't attempt to paint himself as a tough guy (as I unfairly expected) or to create an idealized version of the tattoo world, he readily admits to his flaws, is honest about the ugly side of tattooing and is careful about his depictions - something that is lacking in some of the other tattoo books out there.

However, what truly sets this book apart from other books about tattooing is the writing. Jeff Johnson's style is easy to read, engaging and vivid and you feel as though you are along for a strange ride down some neon-lit highway, loud music ricocheting inside the car, while your driver half-shouts stories over the roar of the road and the stereo. If sex, drugs, blood and vomit turn you off, don't read this. But, if you are like me, and you have always wondered what goes through the mind of that person digging a needle into your flesh, or what goes on after you leave the shop, you must read this book. As your driver on this journey, Jeff Johnson has you in capable hands.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Fun, But Disjointed, July 16, 2009

By 

Heather D. Gallay (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

Tattoos, these days, have become almost mainstream -- but tattoo culture is still something left to the hardcore, the people for whom tattooing is more than just a status symbol or fad.

Jeff Johnson's Tattoo Machine is an interesting collection of vignettes about his life as a tattoo artist. The stories are generally entertaining, sometimes disturbing and occasionally far-fetched. We learn of Jeff's encounters with thieving punk chicks (one of whom bit him on his cheek after trying to rob him), begrudging heroism (he helped save a drunk driver's life) and the US Office of Immigration (his wife is Canadian), and it's all told in short, engaging chapters with prose that proves this tattoo artist also knows how to work with words.

Still, there's a seeming lack of depth to the book that makes it all feel somehow superficial. As someone who has an ever-growing collection of tattoos herself, I was looking forward to hearing more about Jeff's journey to becoming an artist, as well as about tattoo culture itself. Instead, though definitely enjoyable, his book was more of a slice-of-life work, shedding light on the goings-on at his own tattoo shop and throughout his life. But maybe that's just me, having expected a more linear narrative...

If you're into tattoos and tattoo culture, then Tattoo Machine is definitely worth the read. It's an easy read, and Jeff is a likeable narrator.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Wild, engaging, and honest, June 6, 2009

By 

M. Mills "inquisitive designer" (East Coast, USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

Jeff Johnson's memoir is a collection of short, mostly-factual stories about his life as a Portland, Oregon-based tattoo artist. Although he is now wildly successful, it wasn't always this way; many of his vignettes describe the period before he found success. He discusses insider's tips on what to look for in a quality tattoo shop (for those interested in getting inked) and offers his theory on why people choose to get tattoos. He delves into some of his craziest drug- and alcohol-induced adventures, his most memorable clients and coworkers (good and bad), bits and pieces of his childhood, and his feelings on the future of the tattoo industry. For the most part, the stories aren't related to each other, but the thread that unites them is the fact that they either led to or happened as a result of his career.

Johnson's writing style is engaging, blatantly honest, totally uncensored, and even charming -- like talking to a close, trusted friend who casually drops the F-bomb now and then and isn't afraid to describe anything, as long as it benefits his audience in some way. Many of his stories are downright funny, some are scary as hell, and still others are heartwarming and sensitive. All are captivating. Johnson says in the introduction that after reading his book, you may not want to get a tattoo from him, but I disagree: his honesty is endearing, and it allows you to trust him. I don't know if I'd want to get a tattoo from someone who wasn't willing to tell me everything Johnson did!

The most notable aspect of Johnson's writing is his use of vivid metaphorical imagery when setting the scene or describing complex emotional undercurrents, which makes perfect sense coming from someone who sees the world in a way far different than most people do. His images are wild, colorful, bizarre, and unearthly at times. For instance, he describes competition wars between tattoo shops as happening across "radioactive, crater-pocked fields of salt, through wrecked urban landscapes decorated with nuclear flash-point carbon shadows and populated by wild zombie dogs." Nonsensical? Almost. But imagine that description as a tattoo, and you realize that he has just brilliantly conveyed his intended mindscape to the reader.

As a feminist and a vegan, I raised an eyebrow only twice when reading this book. The first instance was when Johnson said that "vegans tend to pass out" when getting inked -- I just had to chuckle and roll my eyes at this, as it's simply not true. The second instance was when he referred to one particularly nasty woman as a c***, although he knows full well that the term is sexist when flung as an insult. The reader will easily forgive this as Johnson champions good quality female tattoo artists, is always careful to say "guys and gals," and never limits his definition of a good tattoo artist to men. Another reviewer mentioned that Johnson generally describes women in "unflattering" ways, but I didn't find this to be the case at all (with that one exception). His stories feature valiant heros and conniving enemies of both sexes, and he describes them equitably in positive, neutral, and/or negative light. He is *never* chauvinistic. If anything, Johnson is the most vicious in describing the men he has encountered!

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and finished it leisurely in a matter of days. Readers who dislike profanity, drinking, drugs, nudity, sex, and the occasional lurid story probably won't enjoy this book very much. But those who are genuinely interested in an honest, engaging behind-the-scenes account of the life of a tattoo artist will love this unconventional memoir. Recommended!