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  • Ted
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VINE VOICEon June 29, 2012
When you grow up with a woman who makes teddy bears by hand and sells them for a living, they kind of become that extra member of the family. As a child, there were times when the bears would be in positions or places that weren't where they were thought to have been left. Our theory was that whenever we weren't around, whether it was if we left the house or went to bed or whatever, the bears would get up and throw parties when we weren't around. So any movie that features something like a living teddy bear that can talk probably resonates a bit more on this end than for the average person.

"Ted" pretty much already had that nostalgic factor to it with the concept alone. While Seth MacFarlane doesn't always hit it out of the park with each episode of "Family Guy," "American Dad," or "The Cleveland Show," when he does get it right it's something special; it's hilarious, it's emotional, and its references are spot-on. "Ted" is MacFarlane at his best. The trademarks he's known for are all in there whether it's the incredible music that is heavily Frank Sinatra inspired, the ridiculous movie and pop culture references, or the humor that always seems to take a flying leap over whatever the accepted standard might be; it's all in the stuffing/inner workings of "Ted." The only difference is this is a different medium; a different plane for MacFarlane to bring his offbeat humor and influences into.

The spin MacFarlane puts on a familiar story is what makes everything so good. Of course, hearing Patrick Stewart as the narrator is a pretty great way to start any movie. There are a few surprises in "Ted" that are worth keeping that way. There's this huge emphasis on "Flash Gordon" that results in some really memorable sequences.

By now, you've probably heard the thunder song that John and Ted sing whenever a thunderstorm hits. It's still funny no matter how many times you hear it. Giovanni Ribisi was the best part of last year's "The Rum Diary" and he always seems to show up when you least expect him to like in "Avatar" or "Public Enemies." He has the most hilarious sequence he's ever been a part of in "Ted." It'll be difficult not to think of this particular scene whenever you see him from now on.

"Ted" is an R-rated comedy first and foremost, but it also crams a lot of heart into its 106-minute run time. The strain that's put on both the relationship between John and Ted and John and Lori's relationship results in the last twenty or so minutes of the movie being purely emotional. So while you'll more than likely remember the movie for the farting scene at the restaurant, the dirty fozzy scene at the grocery store, or the most amazing hotel room brawl involving a teddy bear that you've ever seen, "Ted" is secretly setting you up for that tight feeling in your chest when that pull string on your heart is tugged a little too hard.

"Ted" is the best thing Mark Wahlberg has been a part of since "The Fighter." It also gives the impression that Seth MacFarlane is still in the upswing of his prime and still has a lot to offer to anyone who's a fan of comedy in general. With its magnificently rich score, flawless use of CG, heartfelt sucker punch neatly tucked away at its core, and endless barrage of references and foul mouthed and vulgar humor, "Ted" gives "21 Jump Street" a run for the funniest R-rated comedy of the year. In fact, it may even get your vote as the best comedy of the year. It's like 2012's secret weapon for comedy at least until we can get our hands on an Apache helicopter.
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on March 25, 2013
I was very leery about watching a movie with a talking teddy bear, but this movie was one of the funniest I've seen in a long time. It was done so well you actually believe Ted could be real! Not for the kids, but highly recommended for the all adults who want a good laugh!
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on December 19, 2012
I bought the movie, which I rarely do, after i saw it last summer in the theater. This is a classic I'm going to go back to year after year.

Obvious warning: swearing, sexual innuendo, drug topics are in this movie. This is not your average teddy bear.
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on April 10, 2016
Love this hilarious comedy. What is funnier, is before I knew what the movie was, my daughter put it on becuase she saw the "teddy bear" on the cover and started watching it. NOT a kids movie! lol. Adorable bear with filthy mouth. Great movie to watch when you need a few laughs and don't care about how obnoxious this bear is! Mark plays a great part and what makes the movie funnier is his dry sense of humor and lack of reaction to some of the hilarious scenes. Definitely a fun movie for the grown ups!
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on March 25, 2013
If you like the Family Guy humor with the the PG-13 edits, then you'll enjoy this movie because this Family Guy with no holds barred. The story and plot was a typical boy meets girl plot but all the little quips and snide remarks in this movie is what made it a funny movie for me. Again, before you decide to buy or rent this movie, watch Family Guy. If it made you laugh out loud or even chuckle at all the morally incorrect jokes then this movie is for you. If you're easily offended at racial, ethical, and/or religious jokes then this movie is not for you.
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on January 16, 2016
Silly but it has it's funny moments. We expected "Ted" to have a very foul mouth but it wasn't as bad as we had expected. I tried to find a moral message in this one but the only thing I learned was Ted loves to smoke pot. The best part of the movie is when Mark Walhberg is trying to guess the name of Ted's new girlfriend.
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on August 29, 2015
Silly funny, naughty and nasty at times, this is a comedic performance with a cuddly teddy bear at the helm. The wife refused to see it after the first few minutes, but I thought it had some hysterical humor here and there. Completely politically incorrect it is indeed, but with a modicum of justifiability. In the end it seems to work out and be worthwhile, all-in all.
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on January 11, 2016
This is honestly one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Yes, some of it is just crude and really doesn't add to the movie, but most of it is hilarious and it is very well done. My wife and I laughed all the way through it from the start. It's just a good movie, period. Now I want to see the 2nd one.
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on August 17, 2015
Not bad. The best aspect of the movie is the delivery of crude jokes by the teddy bear character. The steady stream of offensive humor from a fubsy little teddy bear is very effective.

I was annoyed by the plot element of a successful, beautiful girl hanging with a total loser. Hollywood loves this but it is an insult to the intelligence of the viewer.
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on November 13, 2015
Meh. Not my cup of tea but I always enjoy seeing Wahlberg. He was definitely challenged to make me suspend disbelief here and he came as close as anyone could under these circumstances. Just not as funny as I thought it could be and 'man not grown-up' story has been done to death & boring.
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