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Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre Paperback – May 23, 2005
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Top Customer Reviews
Yes, I just used an over-used internet (lol cat) meme to (in my opinion) adequately describe my feelings about this book in the spirit of this book.
Four 5-star and two 4-star reviews? Seriously? Who is reading this book? I thought I was getting a crazy-dark fiction book, something a step beyond the horror genre. I get a depressed, Jewish, Big Bad Wolf, 20-somethings who can't grow up, a werewolf vs. The Peppercorn Rent (with the last name of Lupine - really?), and... I can't even go on - I started skimming. I didn't finish. I read a lot (according to my goodreads profile, 266 books in the last three years), and I really try not to judge a book by it's cover. I really should have my an exception in this case. I've read that short stories are the most difficult of writing styles, as authors have to fit into thirty pages what some put into one-thousand. The reader needs to at least be able to form some kind of assumption, draw some conclusion - they need to be able to figure out what's happening - based on what they're reading: these stories just don't do that. Okay, the Peppercorn story does... but even so - it just wasn't good. I guess it boils down to I didn't care - what happened, was was going to happen... there was nothing I liked about any of it and it wasn't exciting or original.
The formatting was REALLY bad, as well. I don't know if this is an Amazon problem, a publisher problem, or a Kindle (which I guess *would* be Amazon) problem, but it was insanely distracting and I would have asked for my money back if I hadn't borrowed it from the Kindle Owner's Lending Library.
The first impression that Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre made on me was through its cover art (by Amanda Rehagen): an obviously pissed-off poseable stuffed bear brandishing what is either a spatula or some sort of medieval fly swatter. This image is surprisingly good at setting the tone for the anthology: the circumventing of my expectations. Nothing was what I thought it would be, most of all the fact that not a one of these "11 stories of fear, obsession, and killer clowns" has a damn thing to do with a teddy bear cannibal massacre, in any sense of the phrase.
Once I got past that, however, I was ready to take on each in Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre story on its own merits. The first one, "Formaldehyde" by C.C. Parker, however, did not make much of an impression. It took Paul Haines to really get me ready for some entertainment with his "Doof Doof Doof". Its beginning doesn't show much promise, but it folds wonderfully into the rest of this revisionist fairy tale starring Little Red Riding Hood, the Big Bad Wolf, and the Three Little Pigs.
Roberta Rogaw's "Peppercorn Rent" is a more pedestrian kind of tale, but its inclusion of lupine lady, a singer named Lime Green Jello, and an old land rule from the 15th century raises it above the rabble.Read more ›
Some of the stories are good, but they are wasted here.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
There are no teddy bears, cannibals or massacres in this book, but there are some things on the same level of strange. Read morePublished on January 15, 2014 by Trish (I read too much!)
I wasn't sure what to make of Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre when I received it. I mean are these guys serious? Yup, there's a rather angry looking Teddy Bear right on the cover. Read morePublished on July 7, 2006 by Tim Janson
Tim Lieder's anthology is an entertaining trip into the Outer Limits of the Twilight Zone. It is a place where a War Against Clowns is violently waged, a magician is taught magic... Read morePublished on January 7, 2006 by Chadwick H. Saxelid
An interesting collection of delightfully disturbing tales, whose twists and turns reflect the multifaceted personality of the editor: a pro-war liberal, a Lutheran-turned-Jew, and... Read morePublished on October 2, 2005 by Gilad Elbom