Teen-Proofing Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager [Paperback]

John Rosemond (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2000

John Rosemond is a renowned child psychologist who has helped millions of parents learn to raise their children and remain sane. In Teen-Proofing, now available in paperback, he tackles the challenges of raising a teenager with his trademark user-friendly, humorous, and commonsense style. Rosemond lays out a perfectly sound and logical case for recognizing the realities of the teen-parent relationship, forming the foundation, and parenting with the "Long Rope Principle." In short, the author demonstrates how Mom and Dad can avoid the pitfalls of becoming dictatorial "Control Freaks," skirt the potholes of turning into permissive "Wimps," and enjoy the freedom and rewards of parenting in a controlled (but not controlling) and relaxed manner. Teenagers, Rosemond readily admits, can be a challenge. But infusing young adults with a sense of personal responsibility, then showing them the results of good and bad choices, is a goal every parent can achieve.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Parents can protect toddlers--with their maximum mobility and minimum logic--by pasting plastic on electrical outlets and putting poisons out of reach. But protecting teenagers is not so simple, says family psychologist and author of Raising a Nonviolent Child John Rosemond. "Short of solitary confinement, you can't guarantee that a teen won't use drugs, shoplift, drink or crash the car. In the final analysis, teens must protect themselves." Rosemond's Teen-Proofing provides parents with tough-love strategies for managing teens so they make self-protective, rather than self-destructive, decisions.

Many parents will recognize the error of their ways in Rosemond's portraits of parents as "micro-managers" who try to control their children and "wimps" who let their children control them. He offers a compelling alternative by urging parents to be "mentors, who realize they can control the parent-child relationship, but not the child." The author explores critical parent-teen issues including curfews, cash, cars, and cohorts--detailing an approach that gives teenagers a "long rope" to make their own mistakes and also offers "creative consequences" to encourage responsible decision making.

The author offers smart and seasoned advice--from coping with middle school "tweenagers" to understanding why teens are vulnerable and how the culture diminishes a parent's influence. Yet he undermines his clarity with snide asides about mental health professionals and one too many smug and self-congratulatory examples of his own parenting of a son and daughter. These distractions are unnecessary; the book's unconventional and provocative suggestions will speak volumes to parents of teens. --Barbara Mackoff

From Publishers Weekly

RosemondAsyndicated newspaper columnist, family psychologist and author of numerous child-rearing titles (Because I Said So!)Awrites about the angst-ridden teen years with a keen sense of humor. Rosemond's message that teens need to be "mentored" rather than "micro-managed" by their parents is clear and quite reasonable, but readers unfamiliar with his often unconventional attitude may be put off when he turns his acerbic wit toward mental-health professionals, including Selma Fraiberg, who he says promote "parentbabble." The book clearly outlines what to expect of teens and how to deal with peer groups; gives solid advice on how to set limits and communicate with adolescents; and covers more troubling subjects such as drugs and depression. The author slips too often into a q&a format that seems better suited to a newspaper column, and offers only scant information on school problems and how to approach the subject of college. Fortunately, Rosemond's main text is peppered with entertaining anecdotes from his family and amusing tit-for-tat tales of raising his own son and daughter. Rosemond followers will no doubt be delighted to add this book on teens to their parenting libraries, but newcomers may have to adjust to the author's unsentimental attitude toward kids and may find his advice to let the teen "stew in his own juices" just a bit tough to swallow.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing; Original edition (September 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0740710214
• ISBN-13: 978-0740710216
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #39,797 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

John Rosemond is a family psychologist who has both directed mental health programs and been in full-time private practice working with families and children. Since 1990, he has devoted his time to speaking and writing. John's weekly syndicated parenting column now appears in some 250 newspapers. Along the way, he's also managed to write eleven bestselling books on parenting and the family. As if that wasn't enough, he is one of the busiest and most popular speakers in his field, giving over 200 talks a year to parent and professional groups nationwide. He and his wife of 39 years, Willie, have two grown children and six well-behaved grandchildren.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars excellent, straightforward and extremely helpful advice., May 3, 1999

By 

Hege Farnsworth ([e-mail]) (Simsbury, CT) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Teen-Proofing: A Revolutionary Approach to Fostering Reponsible Decision Making in Your Teenager (Hardcover)

I recently had the privilege of attending a lecture by John Rosemond in Simsbury, Connecticut. His humor and ability to cut right to the heart of teen problems captivated the audience and I walked out with my own signed copy of his latest book, Teenproofing. The beauty of the book is that it contains nothing revolutionary or new, just old fashioned, common sense practices that have been abandoned by most "psychobabble" parenting gurus of today. Clearly outlining the basic points of his theories into clever "c" words such as curfew, cash, car, child's choice of cohorts, conflict and consequences. Rosemond skillfully and humorously walks us through most of the common challenges parents and teenagers face. Above all, Rosemond encourages parents to "PIIP" (Put it in perspective) and reminds us that caring, well-intentioned parents just need a road map to get through their child's teen years. (Amen to that!) In the PIIP (Putting it in perspective) introduction of his book, Rosemond outlines three facts: 1. You are a responsible parent! 2. Your teen can do something really bad and still turn out okay! 3. You are not the only force in your child's life. 4. You can do the right thing, and things may still go wrong. He labels parents either "Micromanagers" or "Macromanagers" and gives valuable examples and strategies to help parents become macromanagers to their teens, thus fostering respect, learning and responsibility. Rosemond teaches parents to calmly establish clear consistent expectations and tangible consequences for misbehavior and to follow through. Sounds simple, doesn't it? An extremely helpful insight is that consequences do not need to follow immediately after the misbehavior to be effective. In fact, says Rosemond, it is beneficial to wait for a "strategic opportunity" to punish the child. This strategic opportunity punishes the child for something that may have happened hours and even days before. The fact remains that eventually, all children have to ask their parents for something: money, a ride, permission to go somewhere, etc. At this point, they are all sweetness and smiles and that is when you can strategically get the point across that their misbehavior has resulted in a consequence that they don't like and will likely learn from. His story about his daughter Amy not vacuuming the house is priceless and really hammers home the value of this important principle. I especially enjoyed the concept of the "Checkmate Move". In his book, Rosemond addresses most of the concerns and questions and frustrations parents face in raising teenagers. The final section of the book is devoted strictly to a question-answer forum where almost every conceivable dilemma is mentioned. With straightforward humor and insight, Rosemond cuts to the heart and core of the issue and doles out suggestions and advice, all designed to empower the parent in becoming a positive mentor to guide their teenager into becoming a responsible adult. Although I don't agree with some of Rosemond's casual advice regarding teenage smoking and drinking, most of his advice is beneficial and insightful. The beauty of John Rosemond's theories is their simplicity. As the parent of four children, two of who are teenagers, I have tried his methods and they work. This book is a must read for anyone with children!

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Saved My Family, January 31, 2005

By 

Eileen M. Klees "emklees" (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Teen-Proofing Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager (Paperback)

I read a book review of books written about raising children and John Rosemond was mentioned in passing in another person's book being reviewed. The power of these few sentences prompted me to look him up and I discovered TEEN PROOFING just before my oldest (of three boys) reached his 14th birthday. This book saved my family. I was not parenting effectively and John Rosemond straightened me (and my husband) out. Mr. Rosemond's no-nonsense "this is what's so" approach to directing teens is fabulous. As a result of following Mr. Rosemond's advice All three of my sons follow our rules, accept consequences and do what they are told almost all of the time. This includes housework, homework and work-work. We have family meetings, reasonably clear communications and respect for each other's commitments. I am truly grateful to John Rosemond for this book and I recommend it to any parent with teens.

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It is impossible for me to be objective!, October 20, 1998

By 

John Rosemond "Bobo" (Gastonia, NC USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Teen-Proofing: A Revolutionary Approach to Fostering Reponsible Decision Making in Your Teenager (Hardcover)

For years, people have been asking me to write a book on teens. Well, here 'tis! I combined my experience as a parent (my children are now 29 and 26) and a family psychologist in presenting a management plan--a roadmap, if you will--for parents to follow in negotiating this potentially tumultuous time in the parent-child relationship. People who read parenting books tend to be micro-managers where their children are concerned. During the teen years, this tendency has the potential of backfiring BIG TIME!!! The purpose of the book is to help parents become MACRO-managers, mentors--to help parents learn that controlling the parent-child relationship is the key to a happy parenthood during the teen years, NOT trying to control the child. Remember, God couldn't control Adam and Eve. Furthermore, He didn't try. He controlled His relationship with them, nothing more. Even though I'm a psychologist, "Teen Proofing" is devoid of psychobabble. As my readers know, I think psychology has thrown a monkey wrench into American child rearing. This is the eighth book in a series intended to get our culture back on the track of common sense where kids are concerned. Parents! Learn how to manage the six critical teenage issues: curfew, cash, cars, conflict, consequences, and co-conspirators (friends) such that your child gains FREEDOM (what he/she wants) at the same time you gain PEACE OF MIND (what you want, right?) IT CAN BE DONE!! By the way, if you want to chat with me, see my Web site at www.rosemond.com. Thanks for your interest in The American Parenting Renewal Project. Happy Parenting! John Rosemond.