Customer Reviews

Teen-Proofing Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager

5 star:		(30)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I recently had the privilege of attending a lecture by John Rosemond in Simsbury, Connecticut. His humor and ability to cut right to the heart of teen problems captivated the audience and I walked out with my own signed copy of his latest book, Teenproofing. The beauty of the book is that it contains nothing revolutionary or new, just old fashioned, common sense practices that have been abandoned by most "psychobabble" parenting gurus of today. Clearly outlining the basic points of his theories into clever "c" words such as curfew, cash, car, child's choice of cohorts, conflict and consequences. Rosemond skillfully and humorously walks us through most of the common challenges parents and teenagers face. Above all, Rosemond encourages parents to "PIIP" (Put it in perspective) and reminds us that caring, well-intentioned parents just need a road map to get through their child's teen years. (Amen to that!) In the PIIP (Putting it in perspective) introduction of his book, Rosemond outlines three facts: 1. You are a responsible parent! 2. Your teen can do something really bad and still turn out okay! 3. You are not the only force in your child's life. 4. You can do the right thing, and things may still go wrong. He labels parents either "Micromanagers" or "Macromanagers" and gives valuable examples and strategies to help parents become macromanagers to their teens, thus fostering respect, learning and responsibility. Rosemond teaches parents to calmly establish clear consistent expectations and tangible consequences for misbehavior and to follow through. Sounds simple, doesn't it? An extremely helpful insight is that consequences do not need to follow immediately after the misbehavior to be effective. In fact, says Rosemond, it is beneficial to wait for a "strategic opportunity" to punish the child. This strategic opportunity punishes the child for something that may have happened hours and even days before. The fact remains that eventually, all children have to ask their parents for something: money, a ride, permission to go somewhere, etc. At this point, they are all sweetness and smiles and that is when you can strategically get the point across that their misbehavior has resulted in a consequence that they don't like and will likely learn from. His story about his daughter Amy not vacuuming the house is priceless and really hammers home the value of this important principle. I especially enjoyed the concept of the "Checkmate Move". In his book, Rosemond addresses most of the concerns and questions and frustrations parents face in raising teenagers. The final section of the book is devoted strictly to a question-answer forum where almost every conceivable dilemma is mentioned. With straightforward humor and insight, Rosemond cuts to the heart and core of the issue and doles out suggestions and advice, all designed to empower the parent in becoming a positive mentor to guide their teenager into becoming a responsible adult. Although I don't agree with some of Rosemond's casual advice regarding teenage smoking and drinking, most of his advice is beneficial and insightful. The beauty of John Rosemond's theories is their simplicity. As the parent of four children, two of who are teenagers, I have tried his methods and they work. This book is a must read for anyone with children!

I read a book review of books written about raising children and John Rosemond was mentioned in passing in another person's book being reviewed. The power of these few sentences prompted me to look him up and I discovered TEEN PROOFING just before my oldest (of three boys) reached his 14th birthday. This book saved my family. I was not parenting effectively and John Rosemond straightened me (and my husband) out. Mr. Rosemond's no-nonsense "this is what's so" approach to directing teens is fabulous. As a result of following Mr. Rosemond's advice All three of my sons follow our rules, accept consequences and do what they are told almost all of the time. This includes housework, homework and work-work. We have family meetings, reasonably clear communications and respect for each other's commitments. I am truly grateful to John Rosemond for this book and I recommend it to any parent with teens.

For years, people have been asking me to write a book on teens. Well, here 'tis! I combined my experience as a parent (my children are now 29 and 26) and a family psychologist in presenting a management plan--a roadmap, if you will--for parents to follow in negotiating this potentially tumultuous time in the parent-child relationship. People who read parenting books tend to be micro-managers where their children are concerned. During the teen years, this tendency has the potential of backfiring BIG TIME!!! The purpose of the book is to help parents become MACRO-managers, mentors--to help parents learn that controlling the parent-child relationship is the key to a happy parenthood during the teen years, NOT trying to control the child. Remember, God couldn't control Adam and Eve. Furthermore, He didn't try. He controlled His relationship with them, nothing more. Even though I'm a psychologist, "Teen Proofing" is devoid of psychobabble. As my readers know, I think psychology has thrown a monkey wrench into American child rearing. This is the eighth book in a series intended to get our culture back on the track of common sense where kids are concerned. Parents! Learn how to manage the six critical teenage issues: curfew, cash, cars, conflict, consequences, and co-conspirators (friends) such that your child gains FREEDOM (what he/she wants) at the same time you gain PEACE OF MIND (what you want, right?) IT CAN BE DONE!! By the way, if you want to chat with me, see my Web site at www.rosemond.com. Thanks for your interest in The American Parenting Renewal Project. Happy Parenting! John Rosemond.

I bought this book when my diabetic, ADHD son turned 13 and the book was very helpful. A year or so later, my oldest daughter - then 16 - was in a house fire and was burned over 15% of her body. After she had "recovered" she was a different person (new friends, the smell of pot smoke always around her, refusing to go to school, etc.) and although we placed her in therapy, she was spiraling out of control fast. One night I picked up my old copy of Teen Proofing and started to read it again. Although I knew that technically my daughter was in the "too late" category, I applied the techniques. I guess for me it was just a last ditch attempt...I didn't think it would work but I didn't know what else to do. Dr. Rosemond's advise isn't always easy to take and it is even harder to actually do. Sometimes the things he suggested felt scary, like jumping off a cliff and not knowing if the parachute would open! But slowly, we started to see changes. The day we sold her car was a turning point. She just about brought the house down with her screaming and anger, but within four months, she was her old self again. No drugs, the bad influence friends disapeared and she started staying home at night to "be with the family." I didn't know it then, but I know now, what we did was to show her that we were in charge and that we had the courage to make the hard decisions to keep her safe. Not long after we got our daughter back, she graduated from high school and currently - about a year later - she works full-time as a medical assistant and is making plans to begin college part time in the spring. I don't just "guess" that Teen Proofing worked, for us I KNOW it worked and I would recommend Dr. Rosemond's advice to anyone with the strength to see it through.

A MUST READ. A friend of mine offered this recommendation for this parenting book when I was frustrated with the friends my son was befriending. I loved the author's straightforward, no-nonsense approach to the teenage years. I have experienced the over protective, micromanaging parents that he refers to. I have also seen the "buddy" parents; neither style works in my opinion. I totally agreee with the concept that parenting styles must change after about 11-12 years of age. I loved the way the other fosters the idea of earning independence by your actions. I also thought the "teaching by example" concept was invaluable. I highly recommend this book.

I just loaned my copy of this book out to my friend on Mon.and on Wed. she called to thank me for giving her this book and had already talked about it to another friend that was going to buy it as soon as she could. I bought this book and realized very quickly that I would be returning to it seeking advice and perspective, so I began to highlight passeges thorough as I read. I have read this and "Ending the homework hassels". My sister-in-law has been to his conference and uses his technique in her class. My other sister-in-law has a few of his books and her kids are not yet teens, but is using his ideas/technique in raising healthy, responsible children into healty responsible adults. This book helps put things into perspective no mater the age you are dealing with, and no mater the condition of the relationship you have with your teen. I have been though some very difficult years with my children (ages 21-13) and with a husband who travels extensively (gone 5 days a week). I was able to read this book and impliment his ideas and phlosophy with out anyone noticing a drastic "change". There was a change, but it was in the way I parented. I remember thinking as I read this book the therie "for every action there is and equal and opposite reaction". realize that the reaction dosent always have to be immediate, it can come back like a wave, weeks later. Our job as parents is not to shield them from the wave or prevent the wave from comming, or to make the wave bigger than it is, but to instead be there on the shore when they get washed up (we've all been washed up, and learn our lessens better from it) Go ahead and give them enough string to get caught up. Eventually they will have to untangle them selves and the training ground for that is while they are still in our "nest".
3 weeks ago MY 15yr. OLD THANKED MY HUSBAND AND I FOR BEING SUCH GREAT PARENTS!! and I give credit to this book and his book ENDING THE HOMEWORK HASSELS. they are two "must haves" in your parenting library

John Rosemond takes a no-nonsense approach to parenting. However, he does not teach parents how to control their kids. He teaches how to set up situations where the child learns for himself. Parents have a tendency to enable self-destructive behavior in their kids because of the "pyschobabble" they have been taught. Rosemond helps parents avoid that trap. It is about gaining control of the child by setting it up so that the child controls himself, the opposite of the "micro-manageing" that many parents fall into. I especially like the reality Rosemond introduces about our kids: that they will never be perfect, that they will probably do something we wish they wouldn't, and that they will probably turn out okay anyway. Rosemond's approach is tough, but in a realistic and not "mean" way. After reading the book, you'll probably say, "Why wasn't I doing this before?"

I am a police officer who has been working the gang unit for most of the last 10 years. I have been asked by parents all of that time what they can do to regain control. After reading this book, and his other book "The Well Behaved Child" I finally have a resource to point people toward. These books are both very informative, easy to read, and very funny.

While this book may not work for the "worst of the worst", most kids I deal with still have a glimmer of hope. If parents will read this book and follow the advice herin, I believe they will have a lot of success.

Not only can it help parents regain control, but helps the kids gain control over their own actions, some for the first time in their life.

IF YOU CAN ONLY READ ONE PARENTING BOOK FOR TEENS, READ THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

This book speaks true to so many teenage issues. The suggestions are brilliant and work.I tried the "take the door off of the room" and it worked like a charm. I also admired the example of how a family sold their teens car when they broke the no drug rule. This book is written by a parent who has been there and done that! I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with a pre-teen. This way you will be ready for them. I also recommend Indigo Teen Dreams. Both of these books/cds have been helpful tools raising my teens.

I got a pile of "how to parent teenagers" books when things starting getting more challenging at home. Of all the ones I read, this is the best. It's clear, well-written and sound advice. It respects both parent and teenager.