Qty:1
  • List Price: $17.99
  • Save: $5.14 (29%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Only 8 left in stock (more on the way).
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Tell Me No Lies has been added to your Cart
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Condition: Used: Good
Comment: (Paperback) This book shows minor wear and tear, it may or may not have a cracked spine or dog eared pages.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

Tell Me No Lies Paperback – December 14, 2001


See all 3 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Paperback
"Please retry"
$12.85
$9.29 $6.81


Frequently Bought Together

Tell Me No Lies + IN QUEST OF THE MYTHICAL MATE: A Developmental Approach To Diagnosis And Treatment In Couples Therapy
Price for both: $69.43

Buy the selected items together

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Best Books of the Month
Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Golden Guides from St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (December 14, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312280629
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312280628
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #31,862 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson are internationally recognized experts on couples therapy and cofounders and directors of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. They maintain an active lecture and workshop schedule for couples and professionals, and they have appeared on a variety of radio talk shows. Bader served as President of the International Transactional Analysis Association; Pearson is a Consulting Associate Professor at Stanford University. They are also the authors of In Quest of the Mythical Mate, which received the Clark Vincent Award for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy from The California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. They live in Menlo Park and have three daughters.

Judith D. Schwartz is a widely published writer with a specialty in psychology. The author of The Mother Puzzle, she lives in Bennington, Vermont with her husband, Tony Eprile, and their son, Brendan.

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
5 star
7
4 star
2
3 star
0
2 star
0
1 star
0
See all 9 customer reviews
Share your thoughts with other customers

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful By Elliott I. Alvarado on January 3, 2002
Format: Paperback
This is the book that I should have read years ago. Dr.s Bader and Pearson use a lively case study method. They introduce several couples and then draw you into their personal stories. You're hooked, you want to finish the book to see how each couple finally resolves their problem.
In addition, they distill years of experience into a well organized presentation about how truth and lying are seen and manipulated in marriage. Epiphanies exploded around me as I discovered how I had obstructed the truth and lied to my wife. Awareness also grew about how she had denied the truth to herself and how I had enabled her to do that.
By the time this review makes it online, my own marriage of 16 years will have ended in divorce. It's a sad thing, but in trying to make the best one can out of these kind of situations I have sent a copy of the book to my ex-wife. Hopefully, she will learn something too.
The book highlighted several ironies about truth; for example, it requires two people to tell a lie, and it requires two people to witness the truth (to say it and to hear it). One interesting and important point that the book addresses is when the truth should be shared. Generally, if the truth is going to be shared and if it will cause pain, then the person telling the truth must judge whether they are telling that truth just to hurt the other person. Or, and this is a very big IF, if they are ready to take responsibility and repair the damage. The former suggests that the truth not be shared, the latter does.
It's a lively, easy read. I found highlighting the most relevant sections to be very useful and easy to do. If you have a problem with truth in your relationship or want to prevent one, I would highly suggest this book. Buy two, one for you and your partner.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Christa Laririt on August 5, 2002
Format: Paperback
I recommend Tell Me No Lies for every couple because it is a guide for obtaining the ideal relationship. Yet even if one's relationship with a partner is far from ideal, many insights found here are useful for directing communication away from defensiveness and towards honesty and openness. The authors cover a broad range of scenarios that may occur involving personal goals, parenting, financial issues, etc. A couple's interactions with each other also influences their relationships with friends and family members. Recognizing and addressing our own bad habits, even the little ones that we tend to justify or disregard, is one of the most helpful steps we can take. This book is also helpful in recognizing when one's partner is being dishonest and in learning steps to get through to the real problem that is being covered up. While offering practical approaches, the authors are realistic about the difficulty of this process and explain why it is important for the relationship that we face this fear. Overcoming barriers while using compassion and sensitivity ultimately promotes healing and growth within both the self and the couple. Reading Tell Me No Lies serves as a powerful reminder to be honest with ourselves in order to be honest with our partner and have a win-win relationship.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By JUAN on December 19, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This a great book for people that have a really hard time with lying. I wish I could have read this book years ago and maybe I could have confronted alot more issue head on instead lying my way through life which created more lies. If you are a habitual liar this book is great to read or if you have hurt someone through lying.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE - Ghandi
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By FreeToBeMe on April 29, 2009
Format: Paperback
If you practice professional therapy this book is a must have for your library. Marriage involves many secrets, deceptions, and lies whether blatantly practiced or not and this book is great at uncovering them. Your clients will need follow up conversations after reading these but this book serves as a great adjunct to martial therapy.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Christopher dean on March 2, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'm the liar in this situation reading the book trying to get a better outlook on why I have gone out of my way it seems to hide the truth from my family and friends at times. There is a lot of great views from a variety of standpoints in this book. It has made me look at me and my faults in a way that doesn't make me feel like total crap about the pain i caused my family ( i feel like crap just the read doesn't press it ). If your getting lied to or lying reading this will help you understand how both sides can help make a change. Then it's all on wisdom and courage to actually change from there. I said in title this book sucks cause it was hard to look inside myself and without being defensive just accept this s*** was all my fault.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again